Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today, Jaymeson and I suffered from Carbon Monoxide (CO) poisoning while I was 36 weeks pregnant with Tatum. Jaymeson and I have been through a lot the last 2 years during our recovery, and still have a lot to go through. A lot of it is unknown at this point, but it is there.

I didn't think today was going to feel much different than any other day. But, I woke up this morning, moved the laundry from the washer to the dryer, heard my sweet baby boy shout "Mom! Get out?" from behind his bedroom door, and I burst into tears. I opened his bedroom door and I saw his sweet, perfect, little face laying on his bed just staring at me. I picked him up and held him close, kissed his face a million times, and whispered "I love you so much" in his ear over and over again. He even whispered "love you much" back. He will never understand the magnitude of my love for him. He will never fully understand what it meant to save his parents lives before he was even born. And I will never forget that I could have lived my life without him in it.

Jaymeson and I often lay together after the kids go to bed and just hold each other and reminisce about our lives and our story. This one comes up often as we talk about the changes that we are each going through and how they effect ourselves and each other and our families. It's still so unreal to both of us. It's like it was all a dream. I can't even explain it. We lived those moments, we are still suffering from the experience, but somehow it just doesn't seem real. 

I heard on a song on the radio recently that reminded me of how I feel currently. I hate when official music videos ruin the song. So here it is with just the lyrics,

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?
This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Starting today, I will let go of what's gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what's coming next.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Look here and here for a recap.

Are you an evil step mother?

Right before Jayah started Preschool, her dad and I got married. I had already been a part of her life for almost 2 years, but never officially had the title of "step-mother".

I remember the first time I picked her up from Preschool, she introduced me to all of her little friends as Heather. Then someone asked, "Is that your mom?" And she said "She's my step-mom." Then one little girl said, "Are you an evil step-mother?"

Not even a week after I became a step-mom, I was already thrown into the "evil step-mother" category. It made me kind of sad! Luckily for me, the "evil step-mother" persona has never been an issue for me. Jayah is the most loving and accepting little girl you could ever imagine. She has never been hateful to me, she has never been mean to me, and she has never said "you're not my mom so you can't tell me what to do." I have been so blessed.

Although Jayah has been (mostly) easy, being a step mom hasn't always. Her mom and I butt heads sometimes, and it's hard having a child come into my home half the time who I don't have any control over what she is exposed to the other half of the time. I became a member of several different Step-Mom Support Groups. I never post to them, but I enjoy reading what other things stepmothers are experiencing.

With the release of the Cinderella movie came a lot of talk about evil step-mothers. Step-moms speaking out about their insecurities about the movie, and not wanting their step-children to see it for fear of inviting the evil step-mom persona into their lives. Jayah's mom invited me to go see Cinderella with her and Jayah. At first I didn't think much of it, but once I started seeing these posts, I kind of got a little worried. Did she invite me because she wants Jayah to associate me with Cinderella's step-mom? Is Jayah going to associate me with the evil step-mom once she sees it? Does she ALREADY feel that way?

So, we went to see the movie together. Jayah sat in between us, we had popcorn, Jayah spilled her (very large) sprite all over the floor, and it was fun! At the end of the movie, Jayah's mom said something about how mean Cinderella's step-mother was and how blessed Jayah is that I am not like that. Then Jayah said, "You're not an evil step-mom, you're the BEST step-mom, and I love you so much!" and danced with me all the way out to the car.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I never asked to be a step-mom. It was never in my plans. But being a step-mom has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and it's all because of Jayah! I am so blessed.

Roush Family Video (August 2014)

Jena Vanderelburg with Sweet Paislee Pictures is amazing!! We had such a fun time with her and the video turned out perfect!



Check out her facebook page for more videos and photography!!

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Introducing My Baby...

Tatum Blake Roush

Born on Friday, July 19, 2013, at 6:17 AM

6 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2  in. long

In honor of Tatum's 4 month birthday tomorrow, I have decided to finally write his birth story. Here goes!

Everything had been going like normal, other than the fact that Jaymeson and I had Carbon Monoxide poisoning 10 days previously, which meant I would have to go to fetal monitoring 2-3 times a week. During those appointments, they discovered that my baby was not creating any amniotic fluid (because of the CO poisoning), and my levels were very low. They had talked about maybe having to induce me if it got too low, but at that time I was okay.

On July 18, I was officially full time at 37 weeks. I woke up and went to work like normal, although I noticed that I had started to leak something. I didn't really think much of it because everything is always so weird when you are pregnant, and went about my work day. Throughout the day it got worse, where I was going to the bathroom every few minutes because the pads I was wearing were full. (TMI? Sorry.) So I started to think, what if my water broke? I texted me wonderful neighbor, Chelsea, to ask her what it feels like when your water breaks. She is the mother of 4 children, and always has really great advice so I thought she might be good to ask. She told me her thoughts and then recommended that I call my midwife.

Well.... I really didn't want to call my midwife, so I just went about my day. Then I thought, maybe I should ask Jaymeson what he thinks. So I did. He also told me to call the midwife. I thought about it for a little while, and then I decided to call my midwife. I explained what happened, she asked a few questions about contractions and such, and then said "Well, come on in. If you're not going to have this baby on your own, then we are going to have to induce you." I hung up the phone. Looked out of my office door, made eye contact with Megan (a fellow pregnant co-worker) who asked if I was ok, and I immediately started bawling. I was not ready to have a baby! And I definitely didn't want to be induced.

Some of my coworkers came into the office and tried to calm me down. Another coworker ran upstairs to tell my boss that I was going to have a baby and that we would be leaving soon. His response was "Well, better take her to the hospital. We don't have any towels." Why am I not surprised at that response? ;) Meanwhile, the leaking continued. I called Jaymeson to let him know that I was going to the hospital and they said they would induce me. He informed me that he was all the way out in Springville (close to an hour from the hospital) and wouldn't be able to leave until a replacement came. (It's like my worst fear about labor was coming true.)

I got to the hospital, checked into labor and delivery, put on one of  those awful gowns, and waited for a nurse to come check me out. They hooked me up to the fetal monitors that I had become so familiar with, and then checked to see if my water had actually broken. During this process, we could see that I was having pretty steady and strong contractions, however I didn't feel any of them.

They lifted my bed and shined an obnoxiously bright spotlight at my baby making areas to check for my water breaking. They kept referring to something called "Ferning", which I eventually found out was how they could tell if your water had broken. They swipe your vaginal area with a swab, put it on a slide, let it sit for about 10 minutes, stick it under a microscope, and if they see ferning (the shape of an actual fern plant), then your water has broken. Well... they came back, and said that it hadn't. So I asked what I could possibly be leaking, and they didn't have any answers. I asked them to please check again to see if my water had broken, because I knew that it had. They lifted my bed again, got out that annoying spotlight and did their "ferning" process again. While we were waiting for the results, someone came in with an ultrasound machine to measure my amniotic fluid. It was lower than it had recently been, but still not too low, so they determined that part of the fluid was being hidden. 15 minutes later, they came back with results of the ferning test and said that my water had indeed, not broken. I, again, asked what I could possibly be leaking if my water hadn't broken, and the response was "You must have a yeast infection." Right. I have absolutely no signs of a yeast infection, I am 37 weeks pregnant, and I am leaking,  but no, I just have a Yeast Infection. I asked them if they could at least check me for dilation, in which they responded that they would do that at my next appointment, which wasn't for 6 days. Ok then.

They gave me a prescription for antibiotics to clear up my so-called Yeast Infection. I got dressed, checked out of the hospital, and went to get my prescription. (Side note, I think the worst thing about being pregnant, is going to the hospital, thinking you are in labor, and finding out that you are not.) My plan was to head back to work, but by the time I finally got my prescription, it was close to 4:00 and I didn't feel like it. So I left the hospital, let Jaymeson know I was being sent home, and headed over to pick up Jayah from her moms.

On the way to Jayah's mom, I started having contractions that I could feel and were painful. . They came out of nowhere and where immediately only a few minutes apart. I picked her up, and she begged me to take her swimming at Jaymeson's mom's house. We went home to get our swimsuits and then headed over. My neighbor called to see how everything went at the hospital, and could tell that I was in a lot of pain while we were on the phone. She recommended going back to the hospital, but I of course didn't listen because I didn't want to get sent home again. (Reminder, always listen to Chelsea. She knows best.) So I went on my way to my mother in laws.

Once we got there, the contractions had gotten even more painful, and she could immediately tell that I was in a lot of pain. I kept having to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't. I was doubled over on the couch trying to handle these contractions. I couldn't concentrate or respond to anything anyone was saying to me. I remember being in the bathroom, and my friend Cassie called, and even she could tell I was having a hard time!

Jayah kept begging to go out to the pool, so we decided to head out there and get me in the water to see if that helped at all. By now, my mother in law was almost positive that I was going to have a baby that night. We had started to time my contractions and they were about 2 minutes apart for over a minute long. I asked my mother in law to call my midwife and she did. She explained the situation to the midwife on call (also the one who I had seen earlier that day), who's response was "Well, she can come in if she wants, but she's going to be disappointed when I have to send her home again." She also said that I could have contractions like that for days before going into labor, to which I thought, NO WAY can I have contractions like this for days. I am completely dysfunctional like this. In the meantime, my friend Stephanie (who was due 9 days after me) had heard the news that I was having contractions and was texting me. I don't remember anything we talked about it, but I am sure that it was along the lines of freaking out, and oh my gosh you are having a baby.

After getting in the pool (which made it worse), we decided that I needed to go back to the hospital. My mother in law called Jaymeson (who was still out in Springville) and told him that I would be having the baby tonight and he needed to get home to take me to the hospital as soon as possible. After what felt like hours (was probably really only an hour), Jaymeson got there, picked me up, and we headed to the hospital.

Throughout my whole pregnancy, I had decided that I wanted to have a natural birth. At least, I wanted to try. On the car ride there, I was in a lot of pain and made the decision that no way was I going to try to do this natural. We got to the hospital, checked in, and I immediately asked the nurse for an epidural. She told me that she couldn't give me an epidural because they weren't sure if I was in labor or not, but they could give me some pain killers to take the edge off. Yea right. That stuff didn't work at all. All I remember about this part was that I kept telling Jaymeson how stupid this was ("this" meaning the pain), and how much I hated it, etc. Haha!

They lifted my bed up, got out the annoying spotlight again to check for ferning, came back about 15 minutes later and confirmed that my water HAD broken and I was dilated to 3 cm.. Thank you for confirming what I already knew was true. Luckily this time, it was a different midwife so I didn't scream at her for sending me home earlier when she shouldn't. I liked this one also, because she was the one who was there during the CO hospitalization, so I was familiar with her, and she was really nice.

After they confirmed that my water had broken, they brought in the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural. Once the epidural was in, I was in HEAVEN. It seriously, was the best thing ever. And I will never even think about doing a natural birth again.  I was calm, I wasn't in pain, and Jaymeson and I were left sitting there talking about how crazy it was that we were going to be having a baby that night. Shortly after this, Jaymeson's mom brought Jayah to the hospital to hang out with us. We played some games, watched some tv, and talked about what her baby brother would look like.

Shortly after that, Jaymeson, Jayah, and Jill left to get food and pack a hospital bag for me. (Reminder, don't wait until 37 weeks to back your hospital bag... just in case.) About half an hour after they left, they called to see where I was at. I had dilated to a 7! They hadn't even been home yet, so they raced home, then they raced back to the hospital so that they wouldn't miss anything. Jaymeson told me that Jill was driving 80 miles an hour the whole way back to the hospital.

A few hours went by, and I was still dilated to a 7. My contractions were still 1-2 minutes apart for over a minute long (though, luckily I couldn't feel them.) My midwife had decided that she needed to do something to speed up the labor, so she gave me some Potocin. At that point, they checked to make sure the baby wasn't breached or anything like that. They found out that he was head down, but he was face up. They said that I could still delivery him that way, but that it would be more difficult. So they decided to try to get him to turn by having me lay in certain, weird positions until it was time to push.

By then it was after 9:00. Jayah had fallen asleep, Jaymeson was falling asleep, and Jill was texting me parents keeping them updated. Hours passed, and I was left awake watching stupid middle of the night tv shows and waiting for something to happen. Finally, 5:00 AM or so came around on the 19th and my midwife told me that the baby had turned face down, it was time to push. Holy cow, this was it! I woke up Jaymeson and Jill and got ready to push.

How come nobody warns you about pushing? Pushing was by far, the hardest part of labor. It was so tiring, and there were times where I didn't think I could do it. I pushed for about an hour, and out came my cone headed, bald baby boy. At some point during pushing, I had taken my glasses off. So when he came out, and they plopped him down on my chest, I really couldn't see anything. The lights were dim, and I was honestly too tired from pushing to care. Then they took him away to measure him and everything, and brought him back.

They informed me that because he was in my belly too long without any amniotic fluid, that he had a fever and an infection, so they were going to have to take him away from monitoring and antibiotics. I got to hold him for a few minutes, wake up Jayah to hold her new baby brother (yes she slept through the entire delivery process), take a picture, and then they took him away. They finished cleaning me up and then wheeled me to my room where I would be spending the rest of my time at the hospital.

I didn't see Tatum for a few hours after he was born. You know how mom's will say that they fell in love with their baby the moment the laid eyes on him/her? That wasn't the case for me. It took me a few days to really fall in love with Tatum. And I really believe that it was because I didn't get to spend any real time with him while we were in the hospital because they kept taking him away from me for testing and antibiotics. Jaymeson had to work all night the night after Tatum was born, so my wonderful mother in law came and stayed with me at the hospital. When Jaymeson came, he was of course exhausted, so he slept all day. Then he had to work again all night. And slept all day again, the next day. So, I spent a lot of time alone.

Because of the lack of oxygen to Tatum's kidneys, he was not pooping or peeing like he was supposed to. They were worried that his kidney's might be defective and talked about having to keep him longer even after we were discharged. I did not want to leave my baby at the hospital by himself! Luckily, just before we were discharged, he pooped and they let us take him home. We got him dressed in a cute outfit and put him in his cute carseat and headed home. It was the craziest feeling to me and I was completely overwhelmed.

We pulled up to our house and I sat in the car bawling my eyes out because I was so overwhelmed and I didn't know how to be a mom. I contribute a lot of the reason that I was so overwhelmed to the fact that my house was a disaster. We didn't know, or even expect me to go into labor so soon, so we hadn't prepared at all. My wonderful mother in law could sense that and hung out at our house for a few hours and deep cleaned everywhere. I love her and I am so grateful for her. It was really hard for me being so far away from my family, and having none of my family there for support, but she took such good care of me. I couldn't ask for a better support system and mother in law than her. :)

So, now my sweet baby boy turns 4 months old tomorrow and I am so in love with me. After I had him, everyone would ask me if there was anything about having a baby that surprised me. My response was always, "I never knew that I would love him this much." And it is so true. I love Tatum more than anything in the world and the past 4 months have been the happiest of my entire life. He is perfect and wonderful and I am so grateful to be his mother. I love you baby boy!

At 4 months, Tatum is very vocal. He talks all the time and is very opinionated in his "words." He smiles so big when he sees me and his daddy, and he loves to be held. I am no longer able to nurse, so he drinks from a bottle that he can hold himself. He wakes up every 3 hours or so to eat and then he goes right back to sleep. He loves to hang out in his Johnny Bouncer (even though he can't bounce himself, he just likes to stand in it.) He was blessed on October 13, in Texas with my family. And he is the light of our lives. Here are some pictures of his life so far (sorry they are out of order):

1 month old

1 month old

2 weeks old

1 day old

2 Days old

6 weeks old

3 months old

2 months old

Almost 4 months old

Tangled

Let me tell you about the story of me and Jaymeson.

Jaymeson and I have both previously been married. Ironically enough, our ex-spouses are cousins. (Shocker, I know.) Jaymeson's ex wife and I had become pretty good friends, and during both of our divorces,  I spent a lot of time conversing with her. She shared a lot of that information with him, and when both of our divorces were final, he kindly reached out to me... via facebook...

He sent me a short and sweet message stating that he understands what I am going through and that he was there if I needed someone to talk to. I responding, not thinking anything about it, with my phone number, and mentioned that we should get together sometime.

A few short hours later, I received a text. We texted practically non-stop all day everyday, for weeks and weeks and weeks. Jaymeson denies it, but I know that he wanted to go out with me.

Several months went by, and we stayed as "texting buddies". I was going through a lot, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I confided in Jaymeson, and he confided in me. He always mentioned things about how he really wanted to hang out, and how I was too pretty for him, and how I deserved the best there was. I, being the brat that I am, thought he was so weird. I didn't understand why someone I had never actual met, was so interesting in being my friend. A few times even, I would make plans with him, and then when he would be halfway to my house, I would cancel. (He lived in SLC and I lived in Provo-45 minutes.) There were even a few times where I invited him to come to my soccer games, and when he was almost there, I stopped responding so he didn't know where to go. (I know, I'm such a brat.)

However, we remained friends, and text buddies all day, every day.

One conversation we had while at work, was about Tangled, the movie. He had mentioned to me about how he wanted to see that movie so bad and how he especially wanted to see the "Smolder" from Flynn Rider.

Five months had come and gone since that first facebook message, and we had only seen each once. I needed a date for the BYU vs. Utah women's volleyball game, and had ran out of options. I asked him if he'd like to come, and of course, he jumped right on it. We made a bet, that whoever's team won, would be treated to ice cream by the loser. I went for Utah, and he went for BYU. Utah obviously won, and he treated me to Farr's ice cream. We talked a lot about our ex's and I remember that he kept staring me straight in the eye. To this day, he remembers that I lined my ice cream with 'nilla wafers, and he still thinks it's cute.

Afterwards, he dropped me off at my car, we hugged, and I left. I thought to myself (and apparently so did he) that's never going to happen again. We parted ways and remained as text buddies.

Five months went by, and Jaymeson and I had slowly stopped texting. I went home to Houston for Christmas. For Christmas that year, I gave each of my parents and my siblings, a date night, of their choice, on me. Each of us did various activities, but my little sister and I went to Tangled and ice cream. While we were in the movie, I saw the "smolder", and immediately thought of Jaymeson. I texted him and told him that I was thinking of him, and Merry Christmas, etc. He responded shortly after, and we commenced our texting as normal. Come to find out later, when he received my text, he called all of his closest friends to find out what to say next, and waiting as long as he could before he responded. If I remember correctly, it was 20 minutes at the most. :)

I came back to Utah, and we continued texting all day, every day. He mentioned to me about a girl that he had kind of been dating, that he really liked, who had recently broken things off with him, but he thought it was a mistake. I encouraged him to reach out to her, and actually helped him write her a facebook message to explain how he felt. He wrote it all out and sent it to me to review (I, being the English freak that I am, corrected all of his grammar and punctuation, and sent it back.) He then started hesitating on whether or not he was actually going to send it to her. I "threatened" him, that if he didn't send it to her, I would find him and kick him... or something like that. A week or so later, he told me that he had sent it to her, but she had never responded, and he had given up. Come to later find out, he didn't actually send it to her. He didn't actually want to start things up with her again. And he regretted even talking with me about it because he didn't want to scare me away.

Jaymeson's birthday is January 13, just two weeks after mine. We were texting while I was at work a few days before and he had mentioned how he had no plans on his birthday. (Come to later find out, he did have plans to go to dinner with his ex wife...) I felt kinda bad for the guy, so I quickly tried to plan a surprise birthday party for him.

DISASTER.

I invited the few friends of his that I knew of, his family, and his ex's family (because as far as I knew, they were all still friends.) Boy, was I wrong. I picked up Jaymeson to take him to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, and we got there, and there was quite the feud going on between his and her families. They settled down, we had the most awkward dinner of a life time. And then Jaymeson and I finally got to see Tangled together. It was a lot of fun, and he, like old times, would send me texts throughout the movie because he thought it was cute. We went back to his condo after the movie and talked for a few hours and then I went over to his ex's house to spend the night. Her, Jayah, and I stayed up all night talking, and then I went to work early the next morning.

The weekend after that, he asked if he could pick me up to go check out Cabela's with him and Jayah. He drove all the way to Provo to get me, then back up to Lehi to Cabela's. We hung out, ate lunch, watched Jayah marvel over all of the animals, and then he took me home. We continued as text buddies. I told Jaymeson that I didn't feel comfortable going out with him without it being ok with his ex (because we were friends). So he talked to her about it. She texted me and told me about their conversation and told me that we should continue seeing each other and that she thought we were a good for each other. And then Jaymeson and I started to see each other more and more and more.

It took him 3 whole weeks to kiss me, and I was going crazy. Poor guy was so nervous! He later told me that he just decided he was going to do it, and told his friends "See ya later, I'm going to kiss her tonight!" and met me in the parking lot of my work. We talked for a few hours, and then it was way too late and time for both of us to head home. I kept hinting that I wanted him to kiss me, but he just wasn't doing it. So I finally pulled away from him, he grabbed my hand, pulled me in and kissed me! He was shaking like crazy, and I'm sure I was too.

It was then that we decided to be exclusive. We spent as much time as possible together, and dated for a year and a half before we got married. It was difficult, we were both still healing and discovering ourselves from our divorces, but it was worth it. Jaymeson and I were made for each other and I couldn't be happier. Of all the choices I have made, my decision to stick with him through it all, was the best thing I ever did.

Meet Bella

For Jayah's fifth birthday, we decided to get her a puppy. And since she doesnt get a little sister this year, we decided on a girl puppy. 

Meet Bella. Our American Bulldog puppy. 

This was on the second day we got her, the day we gave her to Jayah.

This is when we bought her a bed. It matches her cute collar and everything!

 She's pretty cute, huh? Well cute is all she is! I have never had a dog before, so she has been somewhat of a challenge for me. Sometimes I am sure that I hate her. I just hope and pray that this puppy is no indication of how I will be as a mother...

This is trying to take her on a walk. She definitely hates her leash.

In her defense, she has gotten a lot better. She has less accidents and doesn't bark and whine all night. Jaymeson thinks she gets a little jealous of me because every time we sit on the couch together, she barks and snaps at me. That is the only time she barks or snaps at anyone, except the little kids in the neighborhood who try to carry her around like a baby. Jaymeson is also sure that she is going to become my best friend, so much so that I will want her to sleep with us. I disagree. She stinks!

Jayah sure loves her though!

The day Jayah met Bella.

Getting Bella's first shots.

 In pregnancy related news, I am now 25 weeks and very fat. I feel the baby kicking constantly, and sometimes I am sure he is break dancing in there. 

Feeling pretty good these days, think I am starting to get a little heartburn though...

Anyone know of any heartburn solutions? (other than Tums)

...I have started to crave things like mustard and sour skittles. In which I haven't been holding back one bit. Probably why I have gained 16 lbs! In the words of my nurse, "Wow, you sure have jumped up!" Thanks. My belly measured at 24 centimeters though, so I guess I am "right on track". 

My next appointment is the glucose test, and also my first shot in the butt. And then I will be in my 3rd trimester. Woot! 

Did I mention we bought a house? We closed a month ago. I love it! It's nice having our own space and having room to just be. It is mostly put together, but I am sure things will always change. Our neighborhood is super cute, with a park right in the middle of our little square. There are TONS of children for Jayah to play with. I can even watch her at the park from my kitchen! One of our neighbors said it is like recess all the time out there. It was a long and hectic process to get here, but we are finally here!

  

 

Oh yea! I got a Samsung Tablet! Happy birthday to me... 4 months later. My dad got me an Amazon giftcard for my birthday that I have been just waiting to find the perfect thing to use it on. I wanted to buy a crib with it, but Jaymeson and my dad convinced me that I needed to use it on myself. It was hard, because I dont like spending unnecessary money, but they were right! Sometimes you just need to spoil yourself. And I cant remember the last time I did that! I love it so far, but still getting used to the Android system. 

Speaking of that, does anyone know how to watch tv shows for free on this thing? I dont mean like on Netflix, I mean current shows. How am I supposed to keep up to date on American Idol without cable!?

Jayah had her first school pictures a week or two ago. She is just so cute! She is loving her Kindergarten Prep class. She also had Kindergarten Orientation last week! I can't believe she is FIVE and almost in Kindergarten! 

April 2013

Jayah eating milk and cookies at Kindergarten Orientation.

 She started a soccer class at her school. They flew in some Brazil soccer players for a 7 week soccer camp, and she is loving it! I am so impressed by how talented she is athletically. Jaymeson and I took her to the park last week and played some soccer with her and she did so well! I can't wait for her to start on a team and to be able to be her coach! I miss soccer so much! 

 

She is also enjoying her dance class. She is quite the little ballerina! She is having a performance this summer where they are dancing to the music from The Wizard of Oz. She gets to be the wicked witch! Her teacher has been so impressed at how well she is doing, that she even gets to have a solo or two in the performance

Anyways, I think that is all for now. Work has been super busy, but I will try to post more often. See ya next time!

Baby Boy Roush

We are having a baby boy!! He's super cute and super healthy, and he's got all of his organs and body parts! Even Jayah was excited it was a boy!

We had my NuMom2Be Study Thursday night, where Jayah was able to come with us. The first thing we did was the gender ultrasound. Jayah was hugging on my arm and laughing, and only slightly disappointed that it wasn't a little sister. But we told her the next one would be. :) It was really cool because we got to see him opening and closing his mouth and sticking his tongue out. He was even holding his legs up over his head with his hands. Poor guy looks so so squished in there! We got a video of the ultrasound, which is really cool. We can watch it at home on our DVD player, but so far that's the only place we have been able to watch it.

Perfect Baby Boy

 

The next morning, we had my regular doctor's appointment with Dr. Evanson (who I am still not a huge fan of. Maybe not her, but the whole experience at her office.) Just me and Jaymeson this time. We did another gender ultrasound first thing, confirming that it really was a boy, and then she showed us all of his organs and everything. We got another video of this ultrasound with the heartbeat. I am trying to upload it to the blog, but it's not working.

After the ultrasound, we met with the doctor and talked about possible "birthing plans". I'm still honestly, very unsure of how I want the delivery to go, other than non-complicated.

His perfect little foot.

 

We are very excited for a baby boy. Jaymeson has had the name picked out since we started dating, but I'm still warming up to it, while looking around at other options. We have also decided to do a Dallas Cowboys nursery. I figure if I'm having a boy, he's probably going to follow in his Daddy's footsteps and play football, rather than his Mommy's and play soccer. I'm ok with that though. It will be cute to watch him grow up learning to play football with his dad.

Also a major plus: His dad is super handsome, so he's bound to be super handsome too, right?

My next appointment is in 6ish week. I'll be 24 weeks and a little more than halfway through... thank goodness.

Other Roush news: Jayah turns FIVE in a little over a week! How crazy is that?! She is getting so big and learning so much in her Kindergarten Prep class. She is also starting a mini soccer camp with her school coming up. I'm really hoping she loves it, because I would LOVE to be her soccer coach. She's learning about teeth, and the days of the week, and even learned the letter "Q" this week. She already knows that quiet and quick start with letter Q. She knows how to spell her name, Mommy, Daddy, love, baby, and a few other words she loves. And she has my phone number memorized.

His perfect little.... boy parts.

 

Jayah and I are also performing in "Music Man" in a few weeks. We are just in the chorus, but it will be fun to be on stage and dance with her. She did "Annie Get Your Gun" last year, and made the cutest little piglet, and townsgirl. This year, she is also a townsgirl, and a perfect little drummer. I just get to stand on stage looking fat, in a pretty blue dress. :-P

We are also, hopefully, moving soon. We have kind of kept this on the down-low, but we are BUYING A HOUSE. We haven't said anything because we have had so much bad luck with home-buying. But this one, is hopefully working out! I've been really frustrated with my realtor, and also the lenders. It seems like every day they tell me something else that they need, pushing out the closing date further and further. We've been "about to close" for about 2 weeks now. As of yesterday, we should close by this coming Friday. I hope that's true, because we only have 2 weeks until we have to be out of this apartment!

If any of you are master cleaners and/or painters, we could use your help! We have to clean and paint our new house before moving in. And then we have to super clean this apartment to avoid their ridiculous moving out fees. All the while, me being pregnant, and unable to do most of those things.

 

 As for pregnancy sickness, it seems to be getting better, but still there. I always think it's getting better and then it comes back to bite me in the butt. I really really really REALLY hope it goes away soon, because I hear it comes back with the 3rd trimester. I still haven't felt the baby move yet, but hopefully (I think hopefully) soon. The ultrasound technician said he's kicking me all over and has his head buried in my bladder, so maybe it's a good thing I can't feel him just yet. ;-)

 

5 more months until we get to hold him in our arms!!



 

 

 

 

10 Week Baby

I had my 10 week appointment today. Jaymeson and Miss Jayah came with me. I was so excited for her to actually get to see Baby. She talks to him (we think it's a him) sometimes, and always kisses my belly goodnight, but I wanted her to really get to see him.

So off we went, before school, to see the wonderful Dr. Marilee Simons, whom I love. I did the standard tests with the nurse, (side note: They always ask if I can do a urine sample, and I always say "I'll try." And every time, without fail, I can. Pregnancy...) and then Dr. Simons came in. We talked about the pain in my left side, which is now completely gone. But before it disappeared, it got worse and weird. My left side was swollen, my left rib was sticking out, and it felt like there was something there every time I would bend that way. But it's all gone now, and it's all good.

All other pregnancy symptoms have pretty much disappeared, or I've just really got this whole pregnancy thing down. I don't have weird cravings, or any cravings for that matter. I hardly have morning sickness. I don't really have to pee a lot. My boobs aren't sore. I have only thrown up a few times. I don't have swelling. I don't have cramping. I don't have back pain.

My only pregnancy symptom is meanness. I am a mean pregnant person.

At my last appointment, they took 7 or 8 viles of blood from me. I got a recorded messages stating everything was all good, (you know, no STDs or anything) but she wanted to run over all the tests with me anyways. I like that about her,  she explains everything. One interesting thing I found out is that I am Blood Type: O Negative. O Negative is the rarest blood type. I can donate to almost anyone, but only O Negative can donate to me. Also one crazy thing about O Negative, is that if the babies blood is a Positive Blood Type, my blood could potentially attack the baby... which would obviously cause lots of problems.

She gave me some reading to understand the situation more. It's the Rh Factor. Most people have the Rh Factor, which means they are Rh Positive. I am one who is Rh Negative. Basically that means that if my blood comes in contact with someone's blood who is Rh Positive, I become sensitized and I will start to produce antibodies that fight the Rh Factor as if it were harmful. Once the antibodies are formed, they don't go away. Good news is, I don't currently have any antibodies

So during pregnancy, the mother and the fetus do not share blood systems, but sometimes a small amount of blood from the fetus can cross into the placenta into the mother's system. If that happens in my case, I become sensitized and create antibodies to attach and break down the baby's blood cells. That causes anemia, which can potentially cause severe illness, brain damage, or even death to the baby.

For a first time pregnancy with an Rh Positive fetus, the baby is usually born before my body would develop the antibodies, so there will most likely not be any problems unless there is some sort of traumatic injury before delivery. However, in a second pregnancy with an Rh Positive fetus, the antibodies are already developed and will most likely cause anemia. 

Lots of information to take in. For now, I have to get a shot on my butt, every appointment starting at 28 weeks up until delivery, to monitor the development of antibodies. Then if I am pregnant again, I will have to have shots every other week or so, and probably have a more high risk pregnancy. Yay....

After we talked about all of that, Dr. Simons wheeled in her little ultrasound machine, and we got to see Baby. At first I was really nervous, because he was not moving at all and I couldn't hear a heart beat. Then I laughed and the baby sort of bounced, and then started moving all over the place. We saw his little hands and feet moving around. We saw him rubbing his face and waving his arms. We even saw him roll over. It was the cutest thing! Jayah was so excited. She kept asking if the baby could see her, and kept talking and waving to him. She is so excited to have a little sibling on its way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is Baby rolled over.

Here is Baby facing forward.

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My next appointment is in 4 weeks, and then the appointment after that we get to find out if our "he" is really a "he". I can't wait to find out and to start creating the nursery and buying baby stuff!

Thank You Sweet Stranger

They always say good things come to those who wait. They also say when one door closes, another door opens.

Today, I am a witness, and a testament of both of those statements.

I knew that me losing my job recently happened for a reason. I didn't know what it was, and I had no idea how or when I was going to find out, but today... I found out.

Let's back track. The day I lost my job, lots of coworkers, friends, and family reached out to help in any way they could. Lots of warm thoughts and kindness, lots of pick-me-ups, and LOTS of job leads.

One coworker recommended a friend who worked at a similar law office up in Salt Lake County. She gave me her number and I contacted her later that night. We texted back and forth several times about the job. I learned that it was essentially exactly what I was doing for the past 3 years. The office was down the street from my house, and the pay started at MORE than what I was making at Myler.

Needless to say, I was excited and hopeful that this would work out. The only problem was that I would be this girl's replacement, and that was contingent upon her getting another job.

We texted almost every day about the status of her job search, pros and cons about the position I was looking for, and other random things. She was a really nice girl, and she made me feel very confident about this job and my ability to do well in it.

A week had gone past and I interviewed for lots of other positions. None of them offered as much pay as I needed, and there was still no news of a new position for my new friend. She continually texted me to keep me updated, but I was getting discouraged. I emailed her my resume and she regularly checked in with me to let me know of any news.

Yesterday, I received a text from her saying that she got the job and that she would be turning in her two weeks notice the next day. She stating that she would hand in my resume when she turned in her two weeks notice and put in a good word.

Today, I received a text from her saying that she turned in my resume, and less than one minute later, a phone call from the office manager asking me to come in for an interview as soon as possible. I was so excited!! I had a few other interviews scheduled, and I needed to pick Jayah up from school, so I carefully planned out my schedule to make sure to do it all and get to each appointment on time.

I made it on time, even a few minutes early, and sat in their conference room waiting to meet with them. I met with the owner of the company and his office manager. It wasn't even an interview. They were so impressed by my resume that they knew they wanted me right away. I met with them for about 45 minutes and we laughed and talked and made plans within the company. The owner had to step out for a little bit, so I continued the "interview" with the office manager and then I was dismissed.

I walked out of the conference room and on my way out the door, the owner yelled to me "You'll be coming back, right?" I told him that I hoped so and walked out to my car. As soon as I sat down in my car, I got the call. I had gotten the job.

I have been BEAMING the last 3 hours because I am so excited about this new opportunity. Losing my job was devasting, heart breaking, and unbelievable to me, but I knew that something good would come out of this. I will now be working at a job that is down the street from our home, I will be making more than what I made after 3 years at the previous company, doing the exact same thing that I am so familiar with. They pay for my health insurance completely, and I start off with 12 days paid time off. Those 4 things, in itself, make this job 10x better than where I was before. I have the opportunity to grow majorly within the company, and so far, I get along great with every person I have met. I cannot express more, how excited I am for this new opportunity.

So I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet coworker for referring me to this awesome opportunity. And I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet, stranger whom I have never met, for caring enough and following through and helping make this position happen. I am so grateful to her for keeping me in mind and helping to provide this wonderful opportunity to me. I can't say that I would have ever done the same for a stranger before this moment.

Music to my Soul

I have always loved to sing. I grew up singing karaoke with my dad from as early as I can remember. I've been in choirs my whole life, church and school. And I just love to sing.

I wouldn't say I'm amazing, but I'm decent. I can hold a tune, I can read music, and I can harmonize, etc..

But one thing that makes me happier than anything is when I hear Jayah softly say to Jaymeson, "I like it when Heather sings. It makes me happy."

I'll sing to you for the rest of our lives, little one. Love you Jayah-Bug.

Diaries of the Unemployed

So, I lost my job recently. It has been a hard thing and a good thing. Definitely not what I would have imagined.

Hard, because I've had a full time job since I was 15 years old. It's weird for me to not be working every day. I like to work.

Also hard, because both Jaymeson and I need to work to support our family at this point in time. It's been a struggle and a bit of stress wondering if and how we are going to make it.

However, it has been a GOOD thing for a few more reasons.

First, and most importantly... Jaymeson was hit by a car at work last week. If I was working, I wouldn't have been able to answer the phone when I got the call, I wouldn't have been able to be there at the hospital with him, and I wouldn't have been able to stay home with him to take care of him. That has definitely been a blessing.

Second, I have been able to do all sorts of "wifey" things that I wasn't able to do before. For example, cook dinner every night, clean and organize the house, get rid of half of our wardrobe and do all of our laundry. It's such a good feeling being able to be a WIFE. When I was married to my first husband, I went to work full time and to school full time. I was gone from 7:30 AM to about 10:00 PM every night. I was the sole provider for our family and it really wore me down not being able to be a wife to my husband. This time is a little different because I wasn't going to school while working, but I was definitely worn down from the work I was doing, and even the commute every day. I have felt better about myself being able to contribute a lot around the house every day. It makes being home much more enjoyable.

Third, I found myself struggling with depression. I was angry all the time, I was annoyed with people I worked with, I was short with people I worked for, etc. It was bad and it was affecting my home life. Now that I am not working at that job, I have felt HAPPIER. I still have a ways to go in terms of overcoming all of this, but I am far less concerned about the long term outcome of those feelings than I believe I would have been otherwise.

I am a hard worker. That is something that anyone would tell you about me. Although I definitely know that I don't want this whole unemployed thing to last forever, I do feel comforted in the fact that I know it was supposed to happen at this time and that some way, some how, we will be blessed.

My Happiness Project.

I have found myself lately being fairly depressed while I am at home and Jaymeson is working late. Life is hard when the only person you want to spend every second with, has to spend most of their seconds somewhere else.

I don't really have any hobbies, all of my friends live everywhere EXCEPT within a 40 mile radius of me, I hate our house (we are moving soon) so there are no projects there, and I'm tired of spending so much time on the couch, watching movies. I want to GET OUT and do something!

Today I was google-ing "Things to do to make you happy" and came across this website...

Click Here

...and decided that for the next little while, I am going to leisurely complete every single one of these tasks, on my own, while Jaymeson is at work. Starting today. And to make it even more difficult, I am going to do them in the order they are listed. I'll keep you updated. :)

Eat that, unhappy Heather!

A friend of a friend...

I realized something rather interesting at my Bridal Shower this past weekend.

There was a variety of people there, most that didn't know each other. As friends were introducing themselves to one another, the subject of how they knew me came up. Probably close to half of those girls there knew me as a result of my ex husband.

There was an old coworker of his.
An old friend of his sister's.
One or two good friends who took me in during my separation.
His old mission companion's wife.
His best friend's brother's wife.
A roommate from just after my divorce. 
The bridal shower even unknowingly took place in a home that I spent the summer of my separation learning to sew in.
Heck, I only know my fiance because of him!

As I heard the laughter of everyone's crazy story on how they know me, someone mentioned to me about how I must have gotten the friends in the divorce. As funny as that is, I think it is true! Mostly I don't talk to anyone I knew from when I was married, but those that I do are mostly mutual friends of ours that have stayed close to me and have supported me in my efforts to restore my life.

I am so grateful for the love and support that so many people have shown me going through my divorce up until finding the man of my dreams and marrying him for eternity. I know I couldn't have done it without so many of them, and I am so grateful that God has blessed me with some beautiful people to share my experiences with.

Guess I definitely got the better end of the deal.

One life to live.

I'm a big time Greys Anatomy buff. I love it, and I look forward to it every week. The season finale ended a few weeks ago, and I have practically been lost every Thursday night, not knowing what to do with myself.

While watching Grey's Anatomy several weeks ago, I practically re-lived a very real feeling, that I felt over 2 years ago.

To sum it up: Christina and Owen are married. They start to have issues, things go bad, and then he cheats on her. She knows it (but not literally), and confronts him about it. He admits to it. She is hysterical and locks herself in the bathroom.

I'm almost positive, that was my exact reaction when my husband cheated on me. Bathroom and all.

I am not a crier. But while watching that scene, I got really emotional. I literally felt how it felt to love someone so much, and have a serious commitment to them, and then find out something that heartbreaking. It was a small and short depressing moment for me.

And then, I looked to my right, and there was my sweet, sweet Jaymeson. Who was probably feeling similar feelings, as the very same thing happened to him at the very same time that it happened to me.

I looked to my right, and I felt love. Real love. We have been together for close to a year and a half, and it was like butterflies all over again. I laid my head on his shoulder, and I felt safe. I knew that as long I was with my Jaymeson, I would never have to feel that dreadful feeling ever again. And I am so grateful for that security.

I am so grateful to Jaymeson for loving me like he does. For dealing with all of my crazy insecurities, and proving to me time and time again that he will love me unconditionally for eternity. I know that everything in my life has led to me him, and I couldn't have asked for a better someone to share the rest of my life with.

37 more days!!!

The Power of Three

Every once in a while, life gives me a sweet reminder as to why I should be grateful for where I am at this exact moment in time.

This week I was given three.

Three bitter-sweet reminders that about this time three years ago, I made the (best) mistake of my life. And that best mistake has literally become the best thing that ever happened to me.

Thank God it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to. (And I do every single day...)

I don't know what I am doing, but it must be something right. I am incredibly blessed.

"It was a pretty difficult journey to where I am today, but it made me the person I am, and for that I am grateful." - Unknown

What I wanna know is...

...how in the world can anyone claim that any sort of physical relationship, with someone besides your spouse, while you are still married, is NOT cheating?

Right?

So, I had a little fall out with my ex today. Lovely. We rarely talk to each other,  and when we do, it is always very cordial, to the point, and then goodbye. Now, this little gem from my past is getting married in a few weeks. One, it has come to my attention that certain members in his family have that strange idea that I want to keep him from getting married. And two, the same certain family members seem to be in denial of a few facts from our marriage.

Someone that I really look up to, who also happens to be a member of that family, told me her story shortly after my divorce. It's very personal, so I will not share. But basically, she was very much wronged by someone very dear to her. She hid it for so long, for fear of what people would think, fear of doing the wrong thing, and fear of hurting someone's feelings. She held it in for so long, that it eventually became unhealthy for her. The wrong-doer eventually passed away, and she finally realized that she did not need to hide the truth any longer. It wasn't that she needed to make sure to shout to the world what really happened, but that she needed to respect herself, her health, and her future relationships by "owning up" to the truth. She told me her story so that I would know that someday, I would be there too.

There's something about owning up to the truth with yourself, and with others, that is healing. And after this little falling out, that's where I am today.

I have said it before, and I'll say it again. I do not agree with divorce, in almost any circumstance. But in mine and my ex's case, I do. That was a hostile marriage. It was unhealthy, and unhappy, and going to take more effort than it's worth to make it work. We both could have done things differently, but ultimately it was his decision to get divorced, and despite all of my efforts, there was nothing I could do to change that. I believe that he expected marriage to be something very different than it is, he expected things from me that are not realistic, and he didn't expect to have to share his life with someone else, or to have anyone to be accountable to. To be frank, he was not ready to be married. He longed for the single life, and he managed to find a way to experience it although, we were still married. A decision had been made, the papers were signed (or soon to be signed), but we were still married. (FYI: A marriage is not a marriage when you sign the marriage license. It is a marriage when you sign the marriage certificate. Then, and only then, is it legal. Same with divorce. A divorce is not final once the motion is filed. (Although some people like to use that as an excuse.) A divorce is final once it has been signed by the judge. Then, and only then, is it legal. Take that up with God if you have any questions.)

With that being said, my divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I went through Hell and back, and recovery was hard. But I made it through quickly, and I have been so grateful to not be married to that man since. There have been times where it has been hard. Not because I wanted to be with him again, but because it's hard to go from being married to being single all because of one piece of paper, within a matter of minutes. But overall, all of that pain was worth it.

He is getting married very soon, and I couldn't be happier for him. I don't know who he is now, or if he is ready for marriage this time, but that's not my concern. Sometimes I hope that poor girl that he met online is smarter than I was, or that things will be different for them. But I really do not care either way. If they make it work--great! If they don't--well... great! It does not matter to me. Believe me, if it did, you all would know about it. I am in a very happy relationship with someone I never would have found if it weren't for Jon, and I am grateful for Jon for that. But I wouldn't have things any other way. So...congratulations to both of them!

Maybe Zac Brown could tell it a little better?

Does that resolve anyone's concerns?

In 2 days, it will be one year from mine and Jaymeson's 2nd first date. In about 2 weeks, it will be one year from our first kiss. And I am so happy! Jaymeson and I have been through so much together. We both came out of very hostile, unhealthy, and unhappy marriages, and we found each other. We were friends, helping each other heal for about 6 months, and then it just clicked. Out of nowhere, we couldn't get enough of each other, and then we started dating. And that's the way I've always wanted it. We started out as friends--best friends. And that developed into a strong and successful relationship. We are celebrating his 26th birthday this Friday, as well as the anniversary of our 2nd first date, and I am so excited!

If there is still any doubt about the way that I feel, feel free to direct yourself to my pictures. You will never see either me, or Jaymeson happier, than you do in those pictures.

Speaking of Zac Brown... his concert is next weekend! Woot!

Thankfulness

With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, and the busy-ness of everything that is life... I kinda missed the whole Spirit of Thanksgiving this year. And then it was slowly creeping up on Christmas, and I got a little worried. I definitely didn't want to miss the whole spirit of Christmas as well. So I stopped to slow down and think about all the things that I am grateful for. It didn't take long to come up with a pretty significant list. Here are just a few of them:

A job: I have a pretty sweet job. I work at a law office for people who are disabled. I help them to receive the help that they need to get anywhere in their lives. Most of the time it's pretty fulfilling. And since this is a positive, thankfulness post, I'm leaving it at that. I get paid great, I have a great boss, and wonderful coworkers, and it's pretty flexible with all the craziness that is my life. It's definitely a blessing to have a job at all, but especially to be a college student with the job that I have is truly a blessing.

An education: I hate school. I really do. But I am so grateful that I can afford an education. I am grateful that I am in the process of getting a University education, that teaches me to specialize in something that I love. I'm grateful for the teachers that take their time to work with me (and the craziness that is my life), and I am grateful for a program that allows me to do what means the most to me... which brings me to...

A major: Behavioral Science, or more specifically, Social Work. I am so grateful to be lucky enough to find something that I love and that satisfies me, and also something that helps me to better the world. Social workers don't get paid very much, but we have one of the most important jobs in the world. I get to help people heal. It's not easy, but it's so, so worth it. It also comes with some pretty flexible hours, and the ability to work from home for the one day when I have little kiddos at home to raise.

A family: Although my family is oh so far away, I am grateful that I have them. I never had a close relationship with any in my family really, until after my divorce. And then suddenly, I understood and appreciated all of them so much more. I have two parents that love me and want what's best for me, and take the time to teach me every time that I speak with them. Two sisters that love me and allowed me to steal make up and clothing from them all throughout my life, who also taught me to love and cherish what is important to me. Four brothers that love me, and pushed me around so that I could become the tough little chica that I am today, who also taught me to accept and appreciate the things that I have. And one neice, who is perfect in every way. My family also consists of grandparents, and cousins, and aunts, and uncles, and each of them have taught me something very special of their own.

A Jaymeson: This man is incredible. He is kind, and loving, and smart, and happy, and down to earth, and he has really changed me. I'm still me, but I'm a better version of me, because of him. Jaymeson and I have had an incredible journey to get where we are today. Full of ups and way too many downs, that have led us to something perfect. I never would have imagined I would be here with him one year later, but I am so grateful that I am. He is thoughtful, and sincere, and genuine, and he loves me, despite ALL of my flaws. And he loves my family. That means the world to me.

A Jayah: A perfect little three year old (going on 16) that I get to spend a significant amount of time with. I am grateful that she is so loving and so accepting of my many flaws. I am grateful that she is so snuggly, and always seems to know when I need it the most. I am grateful that she is so smart, and always wanting to learn more. I am grateful that she is always eager to help in every way that she can. I am grateful that she is Jaymeson's and that she will get to be a part of my life forever.

A friend: I have more than just "a" friend, but the whole "A" thing seems to be a theme here. Since my separation and divorce, I have met many incredible people. All of which have inspired me to be the girl that I was meant to be. I don't get to see my friends very often, but I know that they are there, and that they support me and love me, and only want to see me happy.

A church: I love my church. I am so grateful to have something to believe in. Something to worship, and that inspires me to be a better person. I am grateful for Prophets that lead me and guide me in what's right. I am grateful for Temples, and the healing qualities that they hold. I am grateful for the gospel, and for my testimony, and for the testimonies of those around me that strengthen me. I am grateful for God, for allowing His son, Jesus Christ, to die for me, so that I may have the chance to live. I am grateful for the Holy Ghost that has been given to me to help me to make the right choices. And I am grateful that I was given the gift of repentence for those times that I don't. I couldn't imagine a life without the Gospel, but I am so, so grateful that I don't have to.

My list consisted of several others things, but to cause you the boredom, I won't continue. Christmas came and went, and it was perfect. This year was Jaymeson's year with Jayah, and we got to plan the most perfect Christmas for her. I never knew how much fun it could be to plan Christmas for a child. And this Christmas was definitely all about Jayah.

Right after Thanksgiving, Jaymeson and I put together a tree to surprise Jayah with the next time she came over. We didn't have a star at first, but soon after we went out a got a beautiful, bright, silver star, and also some stockings, and other decorations to get into the Christmas spirit.

Jaymeson and I spent weeks finding all the perfect gifts to get Jayah for Christmas. We got her pajamas, and a robe, and slippers, and clothing, and church clothing, and a tea set, and a tinkerbell journey with keys, and all sorts of other things that she would be excited about. (Next time I'll remember to be more like my mom and keep track of what we got, and which gift is wrapped which way. But I do have to admit, it was kind of a fun surprise to see what we bought her on Christmas morning.) We (well, Jaymeson) wrapped everything up beautifully and hid it under his bed for the time being. That didn't last very long, because Jayah got some sneakiness from her daddy and quickly found ways to sneak into her presents. Needless to say, coal was threatened, and then they were moved. ;) 

Jayah and I even got to go shopping for Jaymeson. I asked Jayah what she wanted to get Jaymeson for Christmas, and all she wanted to get him was make up, and barbies, and nail polish, and a GUITAR. She wasn't going to stop until we got her dad that black guitar that he wanted, just like on her t-shirt. I eventually had to tell her that MeeMa already got him a black guitar so that she could focus on a more realistic gift for him. BAD IDEA. She tried so hard to keep it a secret, but Jaymeson tricked it out of her. Jayah and I were determined to find something else for him that would be a surprise. But.. apparently she's not a huge fan of Christmas shopping because she fell asleep in the cart and slept for 3 hours! We eventually got him a Gingerbread house kit so that they could make it together. We practiced and practiced keeping it a secret, but when we went grocery shopping the next day, we walked past the Gingerbread houses and she yelled "Dad, that's what we got you!" Fail. Maybe when she's older. ;)

On Christmas Eve, the three of us watched all of the Christmas Classics. Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Santa Clause, and The Little Drummer Boy. Then Jayah and I made cookies for Santa. She was so worried about getting them done perfectly, and that there were enough for Santa (and still enough for her to have later). It was fun. Then we set out the cookies and the milk for when he came that night. After the cookies were ready, the three of us sat down to tell the true story of Christmas. Jaymeson and I read to Jayah from Matthew in the Bible, and talked about the significance of giving gifts on Christmas day, and the star on top of the tree, and why Jesus was born in a manger. And then we each got to open one gift. Pajamas. Just like my mom used to do. We taught Jayah to be grateful for a warm bed to sleep in, and warm pajamas, and loving parents who provide for her. It may have been a little much for a three year old, but I think it will be a lesson she will always remember.

 

Then we went over to Jaymeson's family's home. Every year for Christmas, Jaymeson's mom hosts a sleepover. All the siblings, spouses, and kids come over and watch movies, and sleep over, and making treats for Christmas Day. This year was kind of crazy, and all of us were running a little late, but it was still so much fun. Jill and I stayed up pretty much all night putting everything together for Christmas morning. Jayah even got to talk to Santa Clause, and we even heard the bells from Santa's reindeer during the night. It was so much fun!

We woke up at 5 the next morning to open presents. It was so much fun to see Jayah and Jaxen getting so excited about all of their little gifts. We each opened presents one by one, and it was so exciting! Jaymeson got the guitar he has been wanting for years, and I got him front row and center tickets to his favorite band--Zac Brown. He was very excited! Jayah and both of Jaymeson's brothers also got guitars. Look out world, here comes ROUSH! Jayah got a big barbie dollhouse, along with other fun things. And I got, well, spoiled. Jaymeson definitely out-did himself. I'm not even going to write down all the things that he got me because I feel bad that he spent so much time and money on spoiling me. But I guess I deserve it because I always spoil him. ;)

After family Christmas time, Jaymeson and I took Jayah back home for our own little Christmas. Jayah got to open more gifts, and have her stocking, and I got spoiled even more by Jaymeson. After opening gifts, Jaymeson set up Jayah's dollhouse, while she raiding her toys, and I crashed on the couch.

Everything was perfect. Incredible even. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. I am so grateful for every moment about that weekend, and hope that every year gets to be just as magical.

Coming up: Meet the Parents, Part 1.