Are you an evil step mother?

Right before Jayah started Preschool, her dad and I got married. I had already been a part of her life for almost 2 years, but never officially had the title of "step-mother".

I remember the first time I picked her up from Preschool, she introduced me to all of her little friends as Heather. Then someone asked, "Is that your mom?" And she said "She's my step-mom." Then one little girl said, "Are you an evil step-mother?"

Not even a week after I became a step-mom, I was already thrown into the "evil step-mother" category. It made me kind of sad! Luckily for me, the "evil step-mother" persona has never been an issue for me. Jayah is the most loving and accepting little girl you could ever imagine. She has never been hateful to me, she has never been mean to me, and she has never said "you're not my mom so you can't tell me what to do." I have been so blessed.

Although Jayah has been (mostly) easy, being a step mom hasn't always. Her mom and I butt heads sometimes, and it's hard having a child come into my home half the time who I don't have any control over what she is exposed to the other half of the time. I became a member of several different Step-Mom Support Groups. I never post to them, but I enjoy reading what other things stepmothers are experiencing.

With the release of the Cinderella movie came a lot of talk about evil step-mothers. Step-moms speaking out about their insecurities about the movie, and not wanting their step-children to see it for fear of inviting the evil step-mom persona into their lives. Jayah's mom invited me to go see Cinderella with her and Jayah. At first I didn't think much of it, but once I started seeing these posts, I kind of got a little worried. Did she invite me because she wants Jayah to associate me with Cinderella's step-mom? Is Jayah going to associate me with the evil step-mom once she sees it? Does she ALREADY feel that way?

So, we went to see the movie together. Jayah sat in between us, we had popcorn, Jayah spilled her (very large) sprite all over the floor, and it was fun! At the end of the movie, Jayah's mom said something about how mean Cinderella's step-mother was and how blessed Jayah is that I am not like that. Then Jayah said, "You're not an evil step-mom, you're the BEST step-mom, and I love you so much!" and danced with me all the way out to the car.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I never asked to be a step-mom. It was never in my plans. But being a step-mom has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and it's all because of Jayah! I am so blessed.

Roush Family Video (August 2014)

Jena Vanderelburg with Sweet Paislee Pictures is amazing!! We had such a fun time with her and the video turned out perfect!



Check out her facebook page for more videos and photography!!

OR

Check out her photography page for more too!

Happy Anniversary to My Angels

Today is our family's 2 year anniversary! I say "our family" because it's not just for me and Jaymeson. Today is a celebration of the day that Jaymeson AND Jayah took ME in, and we became a family. 

I am so grateful to have found Jaymeson. When I look back on where I was 4 years ago, I never would have imagined that I'd be married to Jaymeson, have a beautiful step daughter, and have a perfect baby of my very own. Jaymeson and Jayah are my angels. And I truly believe that we were all waiting to find each other.

I still remember the day that Jayah told me that her dad loved me. That was the first time (9 months into our relationship) that he ever said "I love you." We were sitting in the car, and I'd been telling Jaymeson I loved him for the past 8 months. He would always just hug me, but never said it back. (Don't I sound pathetic.) Jayah asked me if I loved her Dad. I told her that I did. She asked if he loved me back. I told her that I didn't know. Her response was "He does, he told me to tell you." It still makes me smile to think about. 

To re-read "our story", click here.

To celebrate our anniversary, Jaymeson and I went on a little getaway. This year Jaymeson planned it (and we didn't end up in the hospital). We left the baby with my brother and sister in law, so he could get some quality Tyson time. Tyson is 3 weeks younger than Tatum and the cutest nephew in the world. We drove out to Midway, where we stayed at the Homestead Resort. We checked into the hotel and ate lunch at Fanny's Grill. After lunch, our first activity was swimming in the Crater. The crater was so cool and the water was warm!

Next, we went on a little snake hunt (because my husband has a weird obsession with reptiles), and then we drove to Park City to have dinner and see a movie. We ate dinner at some place called Loco Lizard, and it was disgusting. I really need to stop trying to look for real Mexican food here in Utah, because every time is disappointing. My enchiladas tasted like pizza, and no that's not a good thing. But we did see the new Planet of the Apes, which was really good. :)

The next day, we woke up and went to breakfast at Chicks Cafe. This was the most unorganized restaurant I have ever been to. I won't get into that, mostly because I waited too long too eat so I was probably overly annoyed. The food was pretty good. Then we went back to our hotel and relaxed and talked and watched a few episodes of Pretty Little Liars before our next adventure....

...which was the Heber Creeper. It's a fun train tour in the mountains. They had music on board and we were even robbed by some cowboys. ;) The train ride lasted about an hour and was nice and relaxing. 

Our next stop was dinner at the Side Cafe. The food here was pretty good, and afterwards we got some gelato to share. :) Then we took a stroll down Heber Main Street where we found ourselves at a little small town carnival. There were booths and live entertainment and it was fun. I love those kinds of things, but.. Jaymeson doesn't. So we didn't stay and hang out. We drove up the Deer Creek Reservoir where we sat by the lake and watched the Pioneer Day fireworks.

The next day we checked out of the hotel and went to Kolaches on Main for breakfast. I love Kolaches, and there are none in Utah. These were not like the ones in Texas, but they were still pretty good. I also got myself a vanilla Italian soda, which was also very good when mixed with root beer. Then we drove home to grab our kiddos and head to the Real Salt Lake Game.

I missed Tatum like crazy while we were gone. But he didn't seem like he missed me at all! He was taking a nap when we got there, but when he woke up, he wasn't happy to see me at all! It could have been cuz he was tired, or that he had too much fun with Tyson, or that he just really didn't miss me. I'm gonna go with that he was tired. ;)  Even though he WAS happy to see Jaymeson. 

Happy Anniversary to our little family. I am looking forward to an eternity of anniversaries with you. :)

Oh PS. I was reminded today by my sister in law that I have finally lost all the baby weight! It happened a few weeks ago, and now I even weigh under what I did when I got pregnant. I don't know how I did it, but I'm so happy I can fit into my pants comfortably again. Yay me! 

Introducing My Baby...

Tatum Blake Roush

Born on Friday, July 19, 2013, at 6:17 AM

6 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2  in. long

In honor of Tatum's 4 month birthday tomorrow, I have decided to finally write his birth story. Here goes!

Everything had been going like normal, other than the fact that Jaymeson and I had Carbon Monoxide poisoning 10 days previously, which meant I would have to go to fetal monitoring 2-3 times a week. During those appointments, they discovered that my baby was not creating any amniotic fluid (because of the CO poisoning), and my levels were very low. They had talked about maybe having to induce me if it got too low, but at that time I was okay.

On July 18, I was officially full time at 37 weeks. I woke up and went to work like normal, although I noticed that I had started to leak something. I didn't really think much of it because everything is always so weird when you are pregnant, and went about my work day. Throughout the day it got worse, where I was going to the bathroom every few minutes because the pads I was wearing were full. (TMI? Sorry.) So I started to think, what if my water broke? I texted me wonderful neighbor, Chelsea, to ask her what it feels like when your water breaks. She is the mother of 4 children, and always has really great advice so I thought she might be good to ask. She told me her thoughts and then recommended that I call my midwife.

Well.... I really didn't want to call my midwife, so I just went about my day. Then I thought, maybe I should ask Jaymeson what he thinks. So I did. He also told me to call the midwife. I thought about it for a little while, and then I decided to call my midwife. I explained what happened, she asked a few questions about contractions and such, and then said "Well, come on in. If you're not going to have this baby on your own, then we are going to have to induce you." I hung up the phone. Looked out of my office door, made eye contact with Megan (a fellow pregnant co-worker) who asked if I was ok, and I immediately started bawling. I was not ready to have a baby! And I definitely didn't want to be induced.

Some of my coworkers came into the office and tried to calm me down. Another coworker ran upstairs to tell my boss that I was going to have a baby and that we would be leaving soon. His response was "Well, better take her to the hospital. We don't have any towels." Why am I not surprised at that response? ;) Meanwhile, the leaking continued. I called Jaymeson to let him know that I was going to the hospital and they said they would induce me. He informed me that he was all the way out in Springville (close to an hour from the hospital) and wouldn't be able to leave until a replacement came. (It's like my worst fear about labor was coming true.)

I got to the hospital, checked into labor and delivery, put on one of  those awful gowns, and waited for a nurse to come check me out. They hooked me up to the fetal monitors that I had become so familiar with, and then checked to see if my water had actually broken. During this process, we could see that I was having pretty steady and strong contractions, however I didn't feel any of them.

They lifted my bed and shined an obnoxiously bright spotlight at my baby making areas to check for my water breaking. They kept referring to something called "Ferning", which I eventually found out was how they could tell if your water had broken. They swipe your vaginal area with a swab, put it on a slide, let it sit for about 10 minutes, stick it under a microscope, and if they see ferning (the shape of an actual fern plant), then your water has broken. Well... they came back, and said that it hadn't. So I asked what I could possibly be leaking, and they didn't have any answers. I asked them to please check again to see if my water had broken, because I knew that it had. They lifted my bed again, got out that annoying spotlight and did their "ferning" process again. While we were waiting for the results, someone came in with an ultrasound machine to measure my amniotic fluid. It was lower than it had recently been, but still not too low, so they determined that part of the fluid was being hidden. 15 minutes later, they came back with results of the ferning test and said that my water had indeed, not broken. I, again, asked what I could possibly be leaking if my water hadn't broken, and the response was "You must have a yeast infection." Right. I have absolutely no signs of a yeast infection, I am 37 weeks pregnant, and I am leaking,  but no, I just have a Yeast Infection. I asked them if they could at least check me for dilation, in which they responded that they would do that at my next appointment, which wasn't for 6 days. Ok then.

They gave me a prescription for antibiotics to clear up my so-called Yeast Infection. I got dressed, checked out of the hospital, and went to get my prescription. (Side note, I think the worst thing about being pregnant, is going to the hospital, thinking you are in labor, and finding out that you are not.) My plan was to head back to work, but by the time I finally got my prescription, it was close to 4:00 and I didn't feel like it. So I left the hospital, let Jaymeson know I was being sent home, and headed over to pick up Jayah from her moms.

On the way to Jayah's mom, I started having contractions that I could feel and were painful. . They came out of nowhere and where immediately only a few minutes apart. I picked her up, and she begged me to take her swimming at Jaymeson's mom's house. We went home to get our swimsuits and then headed over. My neighbor called to see how everything went at the hospital, and could tell that I was in a lot of pain while we were on the phone. She recommended going back to the hospital, but I of course didn't listen because I didn't want to get sent home again. (Reminder, always listen to Chelsea. She knows best.) So I went on my way to my mother in laws.

Once we got there, the contractions had gotten even more painful, and she could immediately tell that I was in a lot of pain. I kept having to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't. I was doubled over on the couch trying to handle these contractions. I couldn't concentrate or respond to anything anyone was saying to me. I remember being in the bathroom, and my friend Cassie called, and even she could tell I was having a hard time!

Jayah kept begging to go out to the pool, so we decided to head out there and get me in the water to see if that helped at all. By now, my mother in law was almost positive that I was going to have a baby that night. We had started to time my contractions and they were about 2 minutes apart for over a minute long. I asked my mother in law to call my midwife and she did. She explained the situation to the midwife on call (also the one who I had seen earlier that day), who's response was "Well, she can come in if she wants, but she's going to be disappointed when I have to send her home again." She also said that I could have contractions like that for days before going into labor, to which I thought, NO WAY can I have contractions like this for days. I am completely dysfunctional like this. In the meantime, my friend Stephanie (who was due 9 days after me) had heard the news that I was having contractions and was texting me. I don't remember anything we talked about it, but I am sure that it was along the lines of freaking out, and oh my gosh you are having a baby.

After getting in the pool (which made it worse), we decided that I needed to go back to the hospital. My mother in law called Jaymeson (who was still out in Springville) and told him that I would be having the baby tonight and he needed to get home to take me to the hospital as soon as possible. After what felt like hours (was probably really only an hour), Jaymeson got there, picked me up, and we headed to the hospital.

Throughout my whole pregnancy, I had decided that I wanted to have a natural birth. At least, I wanted to try. On the car ride there, I was in a lot of pain and made the decision that no way was I going to try to do this natural. We got to the hospital, checked in, and I immediately asked the nurse for an epidural. She told me that she couldn't give me an epidural because they weren't sure if I was in labor or not, but they could give me some pain killers to take the edge off. Yea right. That stuff didn't work at all. All I remember about this part was that I kept telling Jaymeson how stupid this was ("this" meaning the pain), and how much I hated it, etc. Haha!

They lifted my bed up, got out the annoying spotlight again to check for ferning, came back about 15 minutes later and confirmed that my water HAD broken and I was dilated to 3 cm.. Thank you for confirming what I already knew was true. Luckily this time, it was a different midwife so I didn't scream at her for sending me home earlier when she shouldn't. I liked this one also, because she was the one who was there during the CO hospitalization, so I was familiar with her, and she was really nice.

After they confirmed that my water had broken, they brought in the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural. Once the epidural was in, I was in HEAVEN. It seriously, was the best thing ever. And I will never even think about doing a natural birth again.  I was calm, I wasn't in pain, and Jaymeson and I were left sitting there talking about how crazy it was that we were going to be having a baby that night. Shortly after this, Jaymeson's mom brought Jayah to the hospital to hang out with us. We played some games, watched some tv, and talked about what her baby brother would look like.

Shortly after that, Jaymeson, Jayah, and Jill left to get food and pack a hospital bag for me. (Reminder, don't wait until 37 weeks to back your hospital bag... just in case.) About half an hour after they left, they called to see where I was at. I had dilated to a 7! They hadn't even been home yet, so they raced home, then they raced back to the hospital so that they wouldn't miss anything. Jaymeson told me that Jill was driving 80 miles an hour the whole way back to the hospital.

A few hours went by, and I was still dilated to a 7. My contractions were still 1-2 minutes apart for over a minute long (though, luckily I couldn't feel them.) My midwife had decided that she needed to do something to speed up the labor, so she gave me some Potocin. At that point, they checked to make sure the baby wasn't breached or anything like that. They found out that he was head down, but he was face up. They said that I could still delivery him that way, but that it would be more difficult. So they decided to try to get him to turn by having me lay in certain, weird positions until it was time to push.

By then it was after 9:00. Jayah had fallen asleep, Jaymeson was falling asleep, and Jill was texting me parents keeping them updated. Hours passed, and I was left awake watching stupid middle of the night tv shows and waiting for something to happen. Finally, 5:00 AM or so came around on the 19th and my midwife told me that the baby had turned face down, it was time to push. Holy cow, this was it! I woke up Jaymeson and Jill and got ready to push.

How come nobody warns you about pushing? Pushing was by far, the hardest part of labor. It was so tiring, and there were times where I didn't think I could do it. I pushed for about an hour, and out came my cone headed, bald baby boy. At some point during pushing, I had taken my glasses off. So when he came out, and they plopped him down on my chest, I really couldn't see anything. The lights were dim, and I was honestly too tired from pushing to care. Then they took him away to measure him and everything, and brought him back.

They informed me that because he was in my belly too long without any amniotic fluid, that he had a fever and an infection, so they were going to have to take him away from monitoring and antibiotics. I got to hold him for a few minutes, wake up Jayah to hold her new baby brother (yes she slept through the entire delivery process), take a picture, and then they took him away. They finished cleaning me up and then wheeled me to my room where I would be spending the rest of my time at the hospital.

I didn't see Tatum for a few hours after he was born. You know how mom's will say that they fell in love with their baby the moment the laid eyes on him/her? That wasn't the case for me. It took me a few days to really fall in love with Tatum. And I really believe that it was because I didn't get to spend any real time with him while we were in the hospital because they kept taking him away from me for testing and antibiotics. Jaymeson had to work all night the night after Tatum was born, so my wonderful mother in law came and stayed with me at the hospital. When Jaymeson came, he was of course exhausted, so he slept all day. Then he had to work again all night. And slept all day again, the next day. So, I spent a lot of time alone.

Because of the lack of oxygen to Tatum's kidneys, he was not pooping or peeing like he was supposed to. They were worried that his kidney's might be defective and talked about having to keep him longer even after we were discharged. I did not want to leave my baby at the hospital by himself! Luckily, just before we were discharged, he pooped and they let us take him home. We got him dressed in a cute outfit and put him in his cute carseat and headed home. It was the craziest feeling to me and I was completely overwhelmed.

We pulled up to our house and I sat in the car bawling my eyes out because I was so overwhelmed and I didn't know how to be a mom. I contribute a lot of the reason that I was so overwhelmed to the fact that my house was a disaster. We didn't know, or even expect me to go into labor so soon, so we hadn't prepared at all. My wonderful mother in law could sense that and hung out at our house for a few hours and deep cleaned everywhere. I love her and I am so grateful for her. It was really hard for me being so far away from my family, and having none of my family there for support, but she took such good care of me. I couldn't ask for a better support system and mother in law than her. :)

So, now my sweet baby boy turns 4 months old tomorrow and I am so in love with me. After I had him, everyone would ask me if there was anything about having a baby that surprised me. My response was always, "I never knew that I would love him this much." And it is so true. I love Tatum more than anything in the world and the past 4 months have been the happiest of my entire life. He is perfect and wonderful and I am so grateful to be his mother. I love you baby boy!

At 4 months, Tatum is very vocal. He talks all the time and is very opinionated in his "words." He smiles so big when he sees me and his daddy, and he loves to be held. I am no longer able to nurse, so he drinks from a bottle that he can hold himself. He wakes up every 3 hours or so to eat and then he goes right back to sleep. He loves to hang out in his Johnny Bouncer (even though he can't bounce himself, he just likes to stand in it.) He was blessed on October 13, in Texas with my family. And he is the light of our lives. Here are some pictures of his life so far (sorry they are out of order):

1 month old

1 month old

2 weeks old

1 day old

2 Days old

6 weeks old

3 months old

2 months old

Almost 4 months old

Things are about to get crazy...

I have been meaning to write this blog update for about 2 weeks, and life has gotten so busy that I haven't been able to! I don't even remember all of the things I wanted to write about anymore!

I had my third study appointment on May 16, at 28 weeks. We got to see our little boy again, via 3D ultrasound. It was kind of cool... and kind of creepy. He had some rather large lips, and a very wide set nose. I left hoping that the baby didn't come out looking the way he did on the ultrasound, and I think Jaymeson left wondering if the baby was actually his. (joke.) Good news is, I have heard that most 3D ultrasound pictures make your baby look like they have bigger features, because they are so squished in there.Cross your fingers!

We found out that the baby is head down, butt up-left, and feet up-right, and he's not going anywhere because he doesn't have any room to move! We also found out that the baby is measuring 2 weeks bigger than he's supposed to be, and I am measuring 2 weeks bigger than I am supposed to be. They said that either he's going through a growth spurt, or I'm more than likely going to have him early. I'm not really sure which one I am rooting for.

I had my regular doctor appointment on May 17, where I did the dreaded Glucose test. It really wasn't as bad as everyone makes it out to seem. I was nervous I was going to end up with Gestational Diabetes, but luckily I am all good. The only issue they have found is that I am a little bit Anemic, so I need to get a little bit more iron into my system. Easy schmeazy.

I did end up switching to a midwife group, and I'm actually very happy! The midwife I met spent a lot of time in the beginning answering a lot of my questions and concerns. I really loved that she focused a lot of time on making sure I felt comfortable and understood everything I needed to know. I also really loved that she spent a lot of time talking to me about how their goal is to make sure that the birth is what I would like it to be. She even told me that I could make a birth plan if I wanted, but that their job was to ask questions and get answers from me and do it the way I want it done, as long as neither mine or the baby's safety was at risk. I am so grateful that I switched! I feel so good about the midwife group.

I have started teetering between going natural and an epidural again. I think it's more of the fear of the pain that is starting to make me chicken out. I really am a baby.

Now, onto crazier things! Are you ready for this?

I am officially crazy.

I am taking a second part time job with Jet Blue Airlines, starting one week from today. And I'm kind of freaking out about it a little bit.

I'll be honest with you. The absolute only reason I am taking this job is for the flight benefits. I get free flights for myself, my husband, my kids, and my parents. Plus a number of buddy passes per year. The pay is not good at all, but I feel like I'd be a fool not to take this job, JUST because of the flight benefits. My family is all in Texas, so I never get to see any of them. Plus, I am a penny pincher. So we never go on any trips or vacations because I am always worried about saving the money. I'd like to be able to go on vacations with my little family, and not spend the entire time worrying about budgets and what's in what account.

For this job, I have to average 16 hours per week, in a 4 month period. And I get to work from home. They provide a phone and a computer. There are health benefits (that I will not be taking advantage of), the flight benefits, and pretty good paid time off benefits. They seem like a really fun company to work for (parties, take your kid to work day, etc), with lots of room for growth.

I am also going to keep my current full time job at the disability law office, although I will be dropping down to 30 hours a week. I have a really great position, and I have been doing this for almost 4 years, and they have been really good to me. I will be going back to work after I have my baby. I'm not sure to what capacity yet, but I will be working at least 30 hours per week, for insurance purposes.

So, my life is about to get crazy. Starting one week from today, I will have to attend a mandatory 4 week, FULL TIME, training with Jet Blue. I will also have to continue working full time at the law office. On June 10 orientation, we get to bid for our shifts based on seniority. My training group obviously has the least seniority, and within the training group they base seniority off of your age. I'm pretty positive I am the youngest in my group, so I will probably have the crappiest shift for the first 4 months until we get to bid again! After the 4 week training, I will continue regular hours with the law office, and commence my schedule with Jet Blue.

Like I said, I'm freaking out a little bit.

It's going to be so so hard, and I'm going to probably want to rip my hair, and everyone else's hair out on a daily basis. But I'm really, sincerely, hoping that it will be worth it once the training is over.

One thing that I am a little worried about with Jet Blue, is that you are not allowed to schedule any time off during the first 90 days of employment. That puts me somewhere in mid September before I am allowed to schedule any time off., which is obviously after my due date. I AM allowed to switch shifts, or give away shifts,  but I hear that it is kind of difficult to do that when you work the crappy shifts, which like I said, will probably be mine. So, my concern is that I will be scheduled for shifts, and then I will go into labor, and then I won't be able to get them covered, and then I get fired and lose all of my cool flight benefits. Gah!

SO... if any of you work for Jet Blue, or know someone who works for Jet Blue, please let me know! I'd like to find someone who would be willing to pick up my shifts (if any) last minute while I am in the hospital delivering a baby. That would help me out so much, and I would love you forever!!

Anyways, on to other updates. Jayah is in her last month of Kindergarten Prep before she starts Kindergarten in August. I can't believe she's so big! She had a dance recital this past weekend, where she got to be the wicked witch, and she was so so cute! We also took our maternity pictures yesterday, by the beautiful and wonderful Kristin Gaul. (click to see her website). I am so excited to see them.

AND my best friend is coming to Utah this week!! I can't wait to see her! I am taking a day off to spend with her and her cute family, and then we are taking some maternity pictures together (because she is due less than 2 weeks after me!) It's gonna be awesome!

Stay tuned for more updates! :)

Meet Bella

For Jayah's fifth birthday, we decided to get her a puppy. And since she doesnt get a little sister this year, we decided on a girl puppy. 

Meet Bella. Our American Bulldog puppy. 

This was on the second day we got her, the day we gave her to Jayah.

This is when we bought her a bed. It matches her cute collar and everything!

 She's pretty cute, huh? Well cute is all she is! I have never had a dog before, so she has been somewhat of a challenge for me. Sometimes I am sure that I hate her. I just hope and pray that this puppy is no indication of how I will be as a mother...

This is trying to take her on a walk. She definitely hates her leash.

In her defense, she has gotten a lot better. She has less accidents and doesn't bark and whine all night. Jaymeson thinks she gets a little jealous of me because every time we sit on the couch together, she barks and snaps at me. That is the only time she barks or snaps at anyone, except the little kids in the neighborhood who try to carry her around like a baby. Jaymeson is also sure that she is going to become my best friend, so much so that I will want her to sleep with us. I disagree. She stinks!

Jayah sure loves her though!

The day Jayah met Bella.

Getting Bella's first shots.

 In pregnancy related news, I am now 25 weeks and very fat. I feel the baby kicking constantly, and sometimes I am sure he is break dancing in there. 

Feeling pretty good these days, think I am starting to get a little heartburn though...

Anyone know of any heartburn solutions? (other than Tums)

...I have started to crave things like mustard and sour skittles. In which I haven't been holding back one bit. Probably why I have gained 16 lbs! In the words of my nurse, "Wow, you sure have jumped up!" Thanks. My belly measured at 24 centimeters though, so I guess I am "right on track". 

My next appointment is the glucose test, and also my first shot in the butt. And then I will be in my 3rd trimester. Woot! 

Did I mention we bought a house? We closed a month ago. I love it! It's nice having our own space and having room to just be. It is mostly put together, but I am sure things will always change. Our neighborhood is super cute, with a park right in the middle of our little square. There are TONS of children for Jayah to play with. I can even watch her at the park from my kitchen! One of our neighbors said it is like recess all the time out there. It was a long and hectic process to get here, but we are finally here!

  

 

Oh yea! I got a Samsung Tablet! Happy birthday to me... 4 months later. My dad got me an Amazon giftcard for my birthday that I have been just waiting to find the perfect thing to use it on. I wanted to buy a crib with it, but Jaymeson and my dad convinced me that I needed to use it on myself. It was hard, because I dont like spending unnecessary money, but they were right! Sometimes you just need to spoil yourself. And I cant remember the last time I did that! I love it so far, but still getting used to the Android system. 

Speaking of that, does anyone know how to watch tv shows for free on this thing? I dont mean like on Netflix, I mean current shows. How am I supposed to keep up to date on American Idol without cable!?

Jayah had her first school pictures a week or two ago. She is just so cute! She is loving her Kindergarten Prep class. She also had Kindergarten Orientation last week! I can't believe she is FIVE and almost in Kindergarten! 

April 2013

Jayah eating milk and cookies at Kindergarten Orientation.

 She started a soccer class at her school. They flew in some Brazil soccer players for a 7 week soccer camp, and she is loving it! I am so impressed by how talented she is athletically. Jaymeson and I took her to the park last week and played some soccer with her and she did so well! I can't wait for her to start on a team and to be able to be her coach! I miss soccer so much! 

 

She is also enjoying her dance class. She is quite the little ballerina! She is having a performance this summer where they are dancing to the music from The Wizard of Oz. She gets to be the wicked witch! Her teacher has been so impressed at how well she is doing, that she even gets to have a solo or two in the performance

Anyways, I think that is all for now. Work has been super busy, but I will try to post more often. See ya next time!

Baby Boy Roush

We are having a baby boy!! He's super cute and super healthy, and he's got all of his organs and body parts! Even Jayah was excited it was a boy!

We had my NuMom2Be Study Thursday night, where Jayah was able to come with us. The first thing we did was the gender ultrasound. Jayah was hugging on my arm and laughing, and only slightly disappointed that it wasn't a little sister. But we told her the next one would be. :) It was really cool because we got to see him opening and closing his mouth and sticking his tongue out. He was even holding his legs up over his head with his hands. Poor guy looks so so squished in there! We got a video of the ultrasound, which is really cool. We can watch it at home on our DVD player, but so far that's the only place we have been able to watch it.

Perfect Baby Boy

 

The next morning, we had my regular doctor's appointment with Dr. Evanson (who I am still not a huge fan of. Maybe not her, but the whole experience at her office.) Just me and Jaymeson this time. We did another gender ultrasound first thing, confirming that it really was a boy, and then she showed us all of his organs and everything. We got another video of this ultrasound with the heartbeat. I am trying to upload it to the blog, but it's not working.

After the ultrasound, we met with the doctor and talked about possible "birthing plans". I'm still honestly, very unsure of how I want the delivery to go, other than non-complicated.

His perfect little foot.

 

We are very excited for a baby boy. Jaymeson has had the name picked out since we started dating, but I'm still warming up to it, while looking around at other options. We have also decided to do a Dallas Cowboys nursery. I figure if I'm having a boy, he's probably going to follow in his Daddy's footsteps and play football, rather than his Mommy's and play soccer. I'm ok with that though. It will be cute to watch him grow up learning to play football with his dad.

Also a major plus: His dad is super handsome, so he's bound to be super handsome too, right?

My next appointment is in 6ish week. I'll be 24 weeks and a little more than halfway through... thank goodness.

Other Roush news: Jayah turns FIVE in a little over a week! How crazy is that?! She is getting so big and learning so much in her Kindergarten Prep class. She is also starting a mini soccer camp with her school coming up. I'm really hoping she loves it, because I would LOVE to be her soccer coach. She's learning about teeth, and the days of the week, and even learned the letter "Q" this week. She already knows that quiet and quick start with letter Q. She knows how to spell her name, Mommy, Daddy, love, baby, and a few other words she loves. And she has my phone number memorized.

His perfect little.... boy parts.

 

Jayah and I are also performing in "Music Man" in a few weeks. We are just in the chorus, but it will be fun to be on stage and dance with her. She did "Annie Get Your Gun" last year, and made the cutest little piglet, and townsgirl. This year, she is also a townsgirl, and a perfect little drummer. I just get to stand on stage looking fat, in a pretty blue dress. :-P

We are also, hopefully, moving soon. We have kind of kept this on the down-low, but we are BUYING A HOUSE. We haven't said anything because we have had so much bad luck with home-buying. But this one, is hopefully working out! I've been really frustrated with my realtor, and also the lenders. It seems like every day they tell me something else that they need, pushing out the closing date further and further. We've been "about to close" for about 2 weeks now. As of yesterday, we should close by this coming Friday. I hope that's true, because we only have 2 weeks until we have to be out of this apartment!

If any of you are master cleaners and/or painters, we could use your help! We have to clean and paint our new house before moving in. And then we have to super clean this apartment to avoid their ridiculous moving out fees. All the while, me being pregnant, and unable to do most of those things.

 

 As for pregnancy sickness, it seems to be getting better, but still there. I always think it's getting better and then it comes back to bite me in the butt. I really really really REALLY hope it goes away soon, because I hear it comes back with the 3rd trimester. I still haven't felt the baby move yet, but hopefully (I think hopefully) soon. The ultrasound technician said he's kicking me all over and has his head buried in my bladder, so maybe it's a good thing I can't feel him just yet. ;-)

 

5 more months until we get to hold him in our arms!!



 

 

 

 

NuMom2Be

At my very first prenatal appointment, I saw a sign on the door of the bathroom for a new mom study. Requirements were that this had to be your first pregnancy or you have had no more than 2 miscarriages under 20 weeks, and you had to be in your first trimester. So I thought, sure why not? I looked into it, and was chosen to participate.

It is a University of Utah study, called NuMom2Be.

The purpose of the study is to find out why so many first time pregnancies have complications or turn to miscarriage. You have one appointment per trimester, where they run tests, do a pelvic exam, and an ultrasound (3D during 3rd trimester). Then at delivery, they take samples, and wah-la! I'm done.

Did I mention this is all free, and I'm compensated for my time?

The coolest thing about it is that I get 3 extra ultrasounds that I wouldn't normally have. Yesterday was my first appointment, at almost 12 weeks.

 

Baby at Almost 12 Weeks

Baby is certainly starting to look like a baby. We still think it's a boy, and it's looking like he's going to be tall like his Daddy and big sister. Also, baby is growing pretty fast, because my due date has changed 3 times! First it was August 7, then based on the growth of the baby it was August 4. As of yesterday, the due date is August 1.

I have mixed feelings about the due date moving up, because I want the baby to come to us as soon as possible (healthily), but also, I have this weird thing about wanting to not have a baby-baby on our first wedding anniversary. I guess it would be ok, though, if the baby came early enough before our wedding anniversary, that I could go out with my husband and celebrate while not looking like a whale. (not likely)

Sometimes I get sad when I look at my facebook cover photo and think, "I'm never going to be that skinny again." At least, my genes are against me. Boo.

Back to the point of this post, the appointment was cool. It was at the IMC hospital, where I plan to give birth. Which is also the hospital where Jayah was born. It went just about how my 6 week appointment was. They took some blood from me, I did a urine test, pelvic exam, and an ultrasound. I also spent close to an hour doing an interview with the Research nurse. Basic questions about my overall health. In depth questions about my family health history, and even more in depth questions about my eating habits in the months prior to my pregnancy.

The bummer thing is that all of this information is anonymous. I am just a 10 digit number. So I'll never get the results of any of my testing. They also keep samples of everything they take from me for future testing. You know, in case they find any correlations with anyone else.

I was worried that Jaymeson wasn't going to be able to make it to my appointment (because his work sucks), but luckily he was able to get there right on time. We are 3/3 on appointments with Jaymeson. Hopefully we can keep that track record going all the way through pregnancy.

One (cool) thing that I learned through filling out questionnaire after questionnaire, is that my mom had the Rh Factor Issue as well, which resulted in 4 of her miscarriages. Her blood type is O Negative, as well as 3 of my other siblings, which could be the only reason why we survived to full term. Which is also weird because normally you get the blood type from your father, and my dad is not O Negative  Luckily, that was 20+ years ago, and technology and medicine is much more advanced than it used to be. Maybe I will be able to have other babies after all. :) That is, if I feel like I can survive pregnancy/child birth a second time.

Another (not cool) thing that happened at my appointment, is that my records are under a different name. So when they printed my ultrasound picture for me, it said Heather Cheney. Gag. Luckily, the Research nurse was nice enough to black out the name on the photos for me. :) So now I need to go get my Roush License ASAP, so I can get in there and change my name with the hospital. I don't want to see that ever again, especially on my ultrasound pictures! Does the whole name changing process ever end?

Next study appointment is in March, where they will confirm the sex of the baby. We will have our normal appointment a week or so before that one, so it really will just be more of like a confirmation. But still cool!

I want to thank all of you for your comments to my previous post. I love reading everyone's opinions and it has definitely helped me to consider things I probably wouldn't have normally considered. I am always open to opinions of others. Like I said before, I am very uneducated on all things baby-making, so I appreciate all the help I can get! 

10 Week Baby

I had my 10 week appointment today. Jaymeson and Miss Jayah came with me. I was so excited for her to actually get to see Baby. She talks to him (we think it's a him) sometimes, and always kisses my belly goodnight, but I wanted her to really get to see him.

So off we went, before school, to see the wonderful Dr. Marilee Simons, whom I love. I did the standard tests with the nurse, (side note: They always ask if I can do a urine sample, and I always say "I'll try." And every time, without fail, I can. Pregnancy...) and then Dr. Simons came in. We talked about the pain in my left side, which is now completely gone. But before it disappeared, it got worse and weird. My left side was swollen, my left rib was sticking out, and it felt like there was something there every time I would bend that way. But it's all gone now, and it's all good.

All other pregnancy symptoms have pretty much disappeared, or I've just really got this whole pregnancy thing down. I don't have weird cravings, or any cravings for that matter. I hardly have morning sickness. I don't really have to pee a lot. My boobs aren't sore. I have only thrown up a few times. I don't have swelling. I don't have cramping. I don't have back pain.

My only pregnancy symptom is meanness. I am a mean pregnant person.

At my last appointment, they took 7 or 8 viles of blood from me. I got a recorded messages stating everything was all good, (you know, no STDs or anything) but she wanted to run over all the tests with me anyways. I like that about her,  she explains everything. One interesting thing I found out is that I am Blood Type: O Negative. O Negative is the rarest blood type. I can donate to almost anyone, but only O Negative can donate to me. Also one crazy thing about O Negative, is that if the babies blood is a Positive Blood Type, my blood could potentially attack the baby... which would obviously cause lots of problems.

She gave me some reading to understand the situation more. It's the Rh Factor. Most people have the Rh Factor, which means they are Rh Positive. I am one who is Rh Negative. Basically that means that if my blood comes in contact with someone's blood who is Rh Positive, I become sensitized and I will start to produce antibodies that fight the Rh Factor as if it were harmful. Once the antibodies are formed, they don't go away. Good news is, I don't currently have any antibodies

So during pregnancy, the mother and the fetus do not share blood systems, but sometimes a small amount of blood from the fetus can cross into the placenta into the mother's system. If that happens in my case, I become sensitized and create antibodies to attach and break down the baby's blood cells. That causes anemia, which can potentially cause severe illness, brain damage, or even death to the baby.

For a first time pregnancy with an Rh Positive fetus, the baby is usually born before my body would develop the antibodies, so there will most likely not be any problems unless there is some sort of traumatic injury before delivery. However, in a second pregnancy with an Rh Positive fetus, the antibodies are already developed and will most likely cause anemia. 

Lots of information to take in. For now, I have to get a shot on my butt, every appointment starting at 28 weeks up until delivery, to monitor the development of antibodies. Then if I am pregnant again, I will have to have shots every other week or so, and probably have a more high risk pregnancy. Yay....

After we talked about all of that, Dr. Simons wheeled in her little ultrasound machine, and we got to see Baby. At first I was really nervous, because he was not moving at all and I couldn't hear a heart beat. Then I laughed and the baby sort of bounced, and then started moving all over the place. We saw his little hands and feet moving around. We saw him rubbing his face and waving his arms. We even saw him roll over. It was the cutest thing! Jayah was so excited. She kept asking if the baby could see her, and kept talking and waving to him. She is so excited to have a little sibling on its way!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here is Baby rolled over.

Here is Baby facing forward.

.
My next appointment is in 4 weeks, and then the appointment after that we get to find out if our "he" is really a "he". I can't wait to find out and to start creating the nursery and buying baby stuff!

Announcing...

Jayah is extra excited to announce the birth of a baby brother or sister next Summer!

Jayah has been asking for a baby sister for as long as her Dad and I have been together (coming up on 2 years). Although, we aren't entirely sure that we'll be able to fulfill that wish 100%, we've got a good start!

The news came on a Thursday night when I was just two days late for my period. It was a stressful day, with lots (and lots) of crazy things happening. Jaymeson had mentioned his worries about if I was pregnant, etc, and how knowing that I wasn't would relieve some stress.. So we decided to take a trip to the local Smith's to get a pregnancy test.

 (Can you tell this wasn't planned?)

At Smith's, all the pregnancy tests were locked up in their own individual boxes, so we had to have a sales associates unlock the box for us. It took him probably 4-6 minutes to figure out how to do it. Then we bought it and headed home. The whole way home, I was reading online about the best time/way to take a pregnancy test. Jaymeson wanted me to take it right away, but I wanted to wait until morning, or until I was 7 days late, or any other time so I didn't have to face a "no" on the test.

I pretty much refused to take the test until the morning, so Jaymeson went to bed, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I took the test and saw this...

I sat there for a minute, texted this picture to my friend Sarah, and panicked. I have been baby hungry for quite some time, but I never actually thought it would happen so soon. I wandered around the house for a few minutes thinking of how to tell Jaymeson. I have always imagined the cutest ways to tell my husband that I was pregnant, so I wanted to plan something super cute. That lasted for a few minutes (I have no self control.) before I laid down next to Jaymeson and tapped him on the forehead to wake him up. I dropped the test down in front him. He looked at it and said "What?" and then "Why are there two lines?" and then held me until we both fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning, while it was still dark, to kisses all over my face from Jaymeson and then he left for work. We didn't get to talk all day, but when he came home he was very happy. He was super excited about our news, and he even told all of his work buddies. I, on the other hand, had turned into a worry wart. I have since, somewhat, warmed up to the idea, but I am still super nervous. I don't know if I am quite ready for this!

I am 6 weeks along, and so far pregnancy has made me one, mean Mama! I am tired (all of the time), hungry (all of the time), although nothing tastes or sounds good, and grumpy (all of the time.) Who came up with this pregnancy thing anyways!? 

We had our first appointment a few days ago, where they took SEVEN viles of blood from me. We did some other normal tests, and then we did an ultrasound.

Normally they don't do ultrasounds that early in the process, but I was having some pain in my left side so they were concerned about the location of the pregnancy. (Ectopic Pregnancy) The ultrasound found my uterus with a teeny, tiny baby in it right away. Thank goodness!

So all is well and Jaymeson and I are in the process of looking for a house to fit our new addition, and I am praying every day that I don't get fat.

Happy Halloween

From the prettiest Princess of them all.

Music to my Soul

I have always loved to sing. I grew up singing karaoke with my dad from as early as I can remember. I've been in choirs my whole life, church and school. And I just love to sing.

I wouldn't say I'm amazing, but I'm decent. I can hold a tune, I can read music, and I can harmonize, etc..

But one thing that makes me happier than anything is when I hear Jayah softly say to Jaymeson, "I like it when Heather sings. It makes me happy."

I'll sing to you for the rest of our lives, little one. Love you Jayah-Bug.

The Day I Became a Wife and a Mother

Hello everyone! You are now looking at the new Mrs. Jaymeson Roush! Woo hoo!

Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.

The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.

I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.

We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha

Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.

Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)

The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.

Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.

Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.

Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.

We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.

Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.

Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)

 















Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!

For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!