Introducing My Baby...

Tatum Blake Roush

Born on Friday, July 19, 2013, at 6:17 AM

6 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2  in. long

In honor of Tatum's 4 month birthday tomorrow, I have decided to finally write his birth story. Here goes!

Everything had been going like normal, other than the fact that Jaymeson and I had Carbon Monoxide poisoning 10 days previously, which meant I would have to go to fetal monitoring 2-3 times a week. During those appointments, they discovered that my baby was not creating any amniotic fluid (because of the CO poisoning), and my levels were very low. They had talked about maybe having to induce me if it got too low, but at that time I was okay.

On July 18, I was officially full time at 37 weeks. I woke up and went to work like normal, although I noticed that I had started to leak something. I didn't really think much of it because everything is always so weird when you are pregnant, and went about my work day. Throughout the day it got worse, where I was going to the bathroom every few minutes because the pads I was wearing were full. (TMI? Sorry.) So I started to think, what if my water broke? I texted me wonderful neighbor, Chelsea, to ask her what it feels like when your water breaks. She is the mother of 4 children, and always has really great advice so I thought she might be good to ask. She told me her thoughts and then recommended that I call my midwife.

Well.... I really didn't want to call my midwife, so I just went about my day. Then I thought, maybe I should ask Jaymeson what he thinks. So I did. He also told me to call the midwife. I thought about it for a little while, and then I decided to call my midwife. I explained what happened, she asked a few questions about contractions and such, and then said "Well, come on in. If you're not going to have this baby on your own, then we are going to have to induce you." I hung up the phone. Looked out of my office door, made eye contact with Megan (a fellow pregnant co-worker) who asked if I was ok, and I immediately started bawling. I was not ready to have a baby! And I definitely didn't want to be induced.

Some of my coworkers came into the office and tried to calm me down. Another coworker ran upstairs to tell my boss that I was going to have a baby and that we would be leaving soon. His response was "Well, better take her to the hospital. We don't have any towels." Why am I not surprised at that response? ;) Meanwhile, the leaking continued. I called Jaymeson to let him know that I was going to the hospital and they said they would induce me. He informed me that he was all the way out in Springville (close to an hour from the hospital) and wouldn't be able to leave until a replacement came. (It's like my worst fear about labor was coming true.)

I got to the hospital, checked into labor and delivery, put on one of  those awful gowns, and waited for a nurse to come check me out. They hooked me up to the fetal monitors that I had become so familiar with, and then checked to see if my water had actually broken. During this process, we could see that I was having pretty steady and strong contractions, however I didn't feel any of them.

They lifted my bed and shined an obnoxiously bright spotlight at my baby making areas to check for my water breaking. They kept referring to something called "Ferning", which I eventually found out was how they could tell if your water had broken. They swipe your vaginal area with a swab, put it on a slide, let it sit for about 10 minutes, stick it under a microscope, and if they see ferning (the shape of an actual fern plant), then your water has broken. Well... they came back, and said that it hadn't. So I asked what I could possibly be leaking, and they didn't have any answers. I asked them to please check again to see if my water had broken, because I knew that it had. They lifted my bed again, got out that annoying spotlight and did their "ferning" process again. While we were waiting for the results, someone came in with an ultrasound machine to measure my amniotic fluid. It was lower than it had recently been, but still not too low, so they determined that part of the fluid was being hidden. 15 minutes later, they came back with results of the ferning test and said that my water had indeed, not broken. I, again, asked what I could possibly be leaking if my water hadn't broken, and the response was "You must have a yeast infection." Right. I have absolutely no signs of a yeast infection, I am 37 weeks pregnant, and I am leaking,  but no, I just have a Yeast Infection. I asked them if they could at least check me for dilation, in which they responded that they would do that at my next appointment, which wasn't for 6 days. Ok then.

They gave me a prescription for antibiotics to clear up my so-called Yeast Infection. I got dressed, checked out of the hospital, and went to get my prescription. (Side note, I think the worst thing about being pregnant, is going to the hospital, thinking you are in labor, and finding out that you are not.) My plan was to head back to work, but by the time I finally got my prescription, it was close to 4:00 and I didn't feel like it. So I left the hospital, let Jaymeson know I was being sent home, and headed over to pick up Jayah from her moms.

On the way to Jayah's mom, I started having contractions that I could feel and were painful. . They came out of nowhere and where immediately only a few minutes apart. I picked her up, and she begged me to take her swimming at Jaymeson's mom's house. We went home to get our swimsuits and then headed over. My neighbor called to see how everything went at the hospital, and could tell that I was in a lot of pain while we were on the phone. She recommended going back to the hospital, but I of course didn't listen because I didn't want to get sent home again. (Reminder, always listen to Chelsea. She knows best.) So I went on my way to my mother in laws.

Once we got there, the contractions had gotten even more painful, and she could immediately tell that I was in a lot of pain. I kept having to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't. I was doubled over on the couch trying to handle these contractions. I couldn't concentrate or respond to anything anyone was saying to me. I remember being in the bathroom, and my friend Cassie called, and even she could tell I was having a hard time!

Jayah kept begging to go out to the pool, so we decided to head out there and get me in the water to see if that helped at all. By now, my mother in law was almost positive that I was going to have a baby that night. We had started to time my contractions and they were about 2 minutes apart for over a minute long. I asked my mother in law to call my midwife and she did. She explained the situation to the midwife on call (also the one who I had seen earlier that day), who's response was "Well, she can come in if she wants, but she's going to be disappointed when I have to send her home again." She also said that I could have contractions like that for days before going into labor, to which I thought, NO WAY can I have contractions like this for days. I am completely dysfunctional like this. In the meantime, my friend Stephanie (who was due 9 days after me) had heard the news that I was having contractions and was texting me. I don't remember anything we talked about it, but I am sure that it was along the lines of freaking out, and oh my gosh you are having a baby.

After getting in the pool (which made it worse), we decided that I needed to go back to the hospital. My mother in law called Jaymeson (who was still out in Springville) and told him that I would be having the baby tonight and he needed to get home to take me to the hospital as soon as possible. After what felt like hours (was probably really only an hour), Jaymeson got there, picked me up, and we headed to the hospital.

Throughout my whole pregnancy, I had decided that I wanted to have a natural birth. At least, I wanted to try. On the car ride there, I was in a lot of pain and made the decision that no way was I going to try to do this natural. We got to the hospital, checked in, and I immediately asked the nurse for an epidural. She told me that she couldn't give me an epidural because they weren't sure if I was in labor or not, but they could give me some pain killers to take the edge off. Yea right. That stuff didn't work at all. All I remember about this part was that I kept telling Jaymeson how stupid this was ("this" meaning the pain), and how much I hated it, etc. Haha!

They lifted my bed up, got out the annoying spotlight again to check for ferning, came back about 15 minutes later and confirmed that my water HAD broken and I was dilated to 3 cm.. Thank you for confirming what I already knew was true. Luckily this time, it was a different midwife so I didn't scream at her for sending me home earlier when she shouldn't. I liked this one also, because she was the one who was there during the CO hospitalization, so I was familiar with her, and she was really nice.

After they confirmed that my water had broken, they brought in the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural. Once the epidural was in, I was in HEAVEN. It seriously, was the best thing ever. And I will never even think about doing a natural birth again.  I was calm, I wasn't in pain, and Jaymeson and I were left sitting there talking about how crazy it was that we were going to be having a baby that night. Shortly after this, Jaymeson's mom brought Jayah to the hospital to hang out with us. We played some games, watched some tv, and talked about what her baby brother would look like.

Shortly after that, Jaymeson, Jayah, and Jill left to get food and pack a hospital bag for me. (Reminder, don't wait until 37 weeks to back your hospital bag... just in case.) About half an hour after they left, they called to see where I was at. I had dilated to a 7! They hadn't even been home yet, so they raced home, then they raced back to the hospital so that they wouldn't miss anything. Jaymeson told me that Jill was driving 80 miles an hour the whole way back to the hospital.

A few hours went by, and I was still dilated to a 7. My contractions were still 1-2 minutes apart for over a minute long (though, luckily I couldn't feel them.) My midwife had decided that she needed to do something to speed up the labor, so she gave me some Potocin. At that point, they checked to make sure the baby wasn't breached or anything like that. They found out that he was head down, but he was face up. They said that I could still delivery him that way, but that it would be more difficult. So they decided to try to get him to turn by having me lay in certain, weird positions until it was time to push.

By then it was after 9:00. Jayah had fallen asleep, Jaymeson was falling asleep, and Jill was texting me parents keeping them updated. Hours passed, and I was left awake watching stupid middle of the night tv shows and waiting for something to happen. Finally, 5:00 AM or so came around on the 19th and my midwife told me that the baby had turned face down, it was time to push. Holy cow, this was it! I woke up Jaymeson and Jill and got ready to push.

How come nobody warns you about pushing? Pushing was by far, the hardest part of labor. It was so tiring, and there were times where I didn't think I could do it. I pushed for about an hour, and out came my cone headed, bald baby boy. At some point during pushing, I had taken my glasses off. So when he came out, and they plopped him down on my chest, I really couldn't see anything. The lights were dim, and I was honestly too tired from pushing to care. Then they took him away to measure him and everything, and brought him back.

They informed me that because he was in my belly too long without any amniotic fluid, that he had a fever and an infection, so they were going to have to take him away from monitoring and antibiotics. I got to hold him for a few minutes, wake up Jayah to hold her new baby brother (yes she slept through the entire delivery process), take a picture, and then they took him away. They finished cleaning me up and then wheeled me to my room where I would be spending the rest of my time at the hospital.

I didn't see Tatum for a few hours after he was born. You know how mom's will say that they fell in love with their baby the moment the laid eyes on him/her? That wasn't the case for me. It took me a few days to really fall in love with Tatum. And I really believe that it was because I didn't get to spend any real time with him while we were in the hospital because they kept taking him away from me for testing and antibiotics. Jaymeson had to work all night the night after Tatum was born, so my wonderful mother in law came and stayed with me at the hospital. When Jaymeson came, he was of course exhausted, so he slept all day. Then he had to work again all night. And slept all day again, the next day. So, I spent a lot of time alone.

Because of the lack of oxygen to Tatum's kidneys, he was not pooping or peeing like he was supposed to. They were worried that his kidney's might be defective and talked about having to keep him longer even after we were discharged. I did not want to leave my baby at the hospital by himself! Luckily, just before we were discharged, he pooped and they let us take him home. We got him dressed in a cute outfit and put him in his cute carseat and headed home. It was the craziest feeling to me and I was completely overwhelmed.

We pulled up to our house and I sat in the car bawling my eyes out because I was so overwhelmed and I didn't know how to be a mom. I contribute a lot of the reason that I was so overwhelmed to the fact that my house was a disaster. We didn't know, or even expect me to go into labor so soon, so we hadn't prepared at all. My wonderful mother in law could sense that and hung out at our house for a few hours and deep cleaned everywhere. I love her and I am so grateful for her. It was really hard for me being so far away from my family, and having none of my family there for support, but she took such good care of me. I couldn't ask for a better support system and mother in law than her. :)

So, now my sweet baby boy turns 4 months old tomorrow and I am so in love with me. After I had him, everyone would ask me if there was anything about having a baby that surprised me. My response was always, "I never knew that I would love him this much." And it is so true. I love Tatum more than anything in the world and the past 4 months have been the happiest of my entire life. He is perfect and wonderful and I am so grateful to be his mother. I love you baby boy!

At 4 months, Tatum is very vocal. He talks all the time and is very opinionated in his "words." He smiles so big when he sees me and his daddy, and he loves to be held. I am no longer able to nurse, so he drinks from a bottle that he can hold himself. He wakes up every 3 hours or so to eat and then he goes right back to sleep. He loves to hang out in his Johnny Bouncer (even though he can't bounce himself, he just likes to stand in it.) He was blessed on October 13, in Texas with my family. And he is the light of our lives. Here are some pictures of his life so far (sorry they are out of order):

1 month old

1 month old

2 weeks old

1 day old

2 Days old

6 weeks old

3 months old

2 months old

Almost 4 months old

Tangled

Let me tell you about the story of me and Jaymeson.

Jaymeson and I have both previously been married. Ironically enough, our ex-spouses are cousins. (Shocker, I know.) Jaymeson's ex wife and I had become pretty good friends, and during both of our divorces,  I spent a lot of time conversing with her. She shared a lot of that information with him, and when both of our divorces were final, he kindly reached out to me... via facebook...

He sent me a short and sweet message stating that he understands what I am going through and that he was there if I needed someone to talk to. I responding, not thinking anything about it, with my phone number, and mentioned that we should get together sometime.

A few short hours later, I received a text. We texted practically non-stop all day everyday, for weeks and weeks and weeks. Jaymeson denies it, but I know that he wanted to go out with me.

Several months went by, and we stayed as "texting buddies". I was going through a lot, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I confided in Jaymeson, and he confided in me. He always mentioned things about how he really wanted to hang out, and how I was too pretty for him, and how I deserved the best there was. I, being the brat that I am, thought he was so weird. I didn't understand why someone I had never actual met, was so interesting in being my friend. A few times even, I would make plans with him, and then when he would be halfway to my house, I would cancel. (He lived in SLC and I lived in Provo-45 minutes.) There were even a few times where I invited him to come to my soccer games, and when he was almost there, I stopped responding so he didn't know where to go. (I know, I'm such a brat.)

However, we remained friends, and text buddies all day, every day.

One conversation we had while at work, was about Tangled, the movie. He had mentioned to me about how he wanted to see that movie so bad and how he especially wanted to see the "Smolder" from Flynn Rider.

Five months had come and gone since that first facebook message, and we had only seen each once. I needed a date for the BYU vs. Utah women's volleyball game, and had ran out of options. I asked him if he'd like to come, and of course, he jumped right on it. We made a bet, that whoever's team won, would be treated to ice cream by the loser. I went for Utah, and he went for BYU. Utah obviously won, and he treated me to Farr's ice cream. We talked a lot about our ex's and I remember that he kept staring me straight in the eye. To this day, he remembers that I lined my ice cream with 'nilla wafers, and he still thinks it's cute.

Afterwards, he dropped me off at my car, we hugged, and I left. I thought to myself (and apparently so did he) that's never going to happen again. We parted ways and remained as text buddies.

Five months went by, and Jaymeson and I had slowly stopped texting. I went home to Houston for Christmas. For Christmas that year, I gave each of my parents and my siblings, a date night, of their choice, on me. Each of us did various activities, but my little sister and I went to Tangled and ice cream. While we were in the movie, I saw the "smolder", and immediately thought of Jaymeson. I texted him and told him that I was thinking of him, and Merry Christmas, etc. He responded shortly after, and we commenced our texting as normal. Come to find out later, when he received my text, he called all of his closest friends to find out what to say next, and waiting as long as he could before he responded. If I remember correctly, it was 20 minutes at the most. :)

I came back to Utah, and we continued texting all day, every day. He mentioned to me about a girl that he had kind of been dating, that he really liked, who had recently broken things off with him, but he thought it was a mistake. I encouraged him to reach out to her, and actually helped him write her a facebook message to explain how he felt. He wrote it all out and sent it to me to review (I, being the English freak that I am, corrected all of his grammar and punctuation, and sent it back.) He then started hesitating on whether or not he was actually going to send it to her. I "threatened" him, that if he didn't send it to her, I would find him and kick him... or something like that. A week or so later, he told me that he had sent it to her, but she had never responded, and he had given up. Come to later find out, he didn't actually send it to her. He didn't actually want to start things up with her again. And he regretted even talking with me about it because he didn't want to scare me away.

Jaymeson's birthday is January 13, just two weeks after mine. We were texting while I was at work a few days before and he had mentioned how he had no plans on his birthday. (Come to later find out, he did have plans to go to dinner with his ex wife...) I felt kinda bad for the guy, so I quickly tried to plan a surprise birthday party for him.

DISASTER.

I invited the few friends of his that I knew of, his family, and his ex's family (because as far as I knew, they were all still friends.) Boy, was I wrong. I picked up Jaymeson to take him to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, and we got there, and there was quite the feud going on between his and her families. They settled down, we had the most awkward dinner of a life time. And then Jaymeson and I finally got to see Tangled together. It was a lot of fun, and he, like old times, would send me texts throughout the movie because he thought it was cute. We went back to his condo after the movie and talked for a few hours and then I went over to his ex's house to spend the night. Her, Jayah, and I stayed up all night talking, and then I went to work early the next morning.

The weekend after that, he asked if he could pick me up to go check out Cabela's with him and Jayah. He drove all the way to Provo to get me, then back up to Lehi to Cabela's. We hung out, ate lunch, watched Jayah marvel over all of the animals, and then he took me home. We continued as text buddies. I told Jaymeson that I didn't feel comfortable going out with him without it being ok with his ex (because we were friends). So he talked to her about it. She texted me and told me about their conversation and told me that we should continue seeing each other and that she thought we were a good for each other. And then Jaymeson and I started to see each other more and more and more.

It took him 3 whole weeks to kiss me, and I was going crazy. Poor guy was so nervous! He later told me that he just decided he was going to do it, and told his friends "See ya later, I'm going to kiss her tonight!" and met me in the parking lot of my work. We talked for a few hours, and then it was way too late and time for both of us to head home. I kept hinting that I wanted him to kiss me, but he just wasn't doing it. So I finally pulled away from him, he grabbed my hand, pulled me in and kissed me! He was shaking like crazy, and I'm sure I was too.

It was then that we decided to be exclusive. We spent as much time as possible together, and dated for a year and a half before we got married. It was difficult, we were both still healing and discovering ourselves from our divorces, but it was worth it. Jaymeson and I were made for each other and I couldn't be happier. Of all the choices I have made, my decision to stick with him through it all, was the best thing I ever did.

The Day I Became a Wife and a Mother

Hello everyone! You are now looking at the new Mrs. Jaymeson Roush! Woo hoo!

Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.

The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.

I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.

We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha

Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.

Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)

The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.

Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.

Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.

Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.

We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.

Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.

Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)

 















Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!

For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!