Pregnancy Secret # 1

Today marks 8 weeks of baby. It sure seems like this is the slowest thing to ever happen to me. March (gender reveal) seems to far away. August (due date) seems like an eternity away.

So far, pregnancy has not been good to me. I am nauseaus all the time, though I have only actually thrown up a hand full of times. I am tired all of the time. I am grumpy all of the time.

Right after I found out I was pregnant, I noticed that my hips and back were sore always. I talked to my doctor about it, who says that that's just my body (hips) preparing for child birth. I guess that's what happens when you are an almost 24 year old female with absolutely no curves.

(Also, I am already showing. How can I be already showing at 8 weeks, when the baby is only the size of a raspberry?? Must be another thing that happens when you are shaped like a boy.)

So it was making it hard to sleep. My doctor told me that if I slept with a pillow between my legs, that would help my back stay alligned at night, which would decrease the pain and soreness. Sure, why not?

It worked.

I still have a hard time sleeping sometimes, but I blame that mostly on Jaymeson and his ever annoying elbows in my back. 

Here's to 32 more weeks...



This is baby at 7 weeks.


 

Announcing...

Jayah is extra excited to announce the birth of a baby brother or sister next Summer!

Jayah has been asking for a baby sister for as long as her Dad and I have been together (coming up on 2 years). Although, we aren't entirely sure that we'll be able to fulfill that wish 100%, we've got a good start!

The news came on a Thursday night when I was just two days late for my period. It was a stressful day, with lots (and lots) of crazy things happening. Jaymeson had mentioned his worries about if I was pregnant, etc, and how knowing that I wasn't would relieve some stress.. So we decided to take a trip to the local Smith's to get a pregnancy test.

 (Can you tell this wasn't planned?)

At Smith's, all the pregnancy tests were locked up in their own individual boxes, so we had to have a sales associates unlock the box for us. It took him probably 4-6 minutes to figure out how to do it. Then we bought it and headed home. The whole way home, I was reading online about the best time/way to take a pregnancy test. Jaymeson wanted me to take it right away, but I wanted to wait until morning, or until I was 7 days late, or any other time so I didn't have to face a "no" on the test.

I pretty much refused to take the test until the morning, so Jaymeson went to bed, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I took the test and saw this...

I sat there for a minute, texted this picture to my friend Sarah, and panicked. I have been baby hungry for quite some time, but I never actually thought it would happen so soon. I wandered around the house for a few minutes thinking of how to tell Jaymeson. I have always imagined the cutest ways to tell my husband that I was pregnant, so I wanted to plan something super cute. That lasted for a few minutes (I have no self control.) before I laid down next to Jaymeson and tapped him on the forehead to wake him up. I dropped the test down in front him. He looked at it and said "What?" and then "Why are there two lines?" and then held me until we both fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning, while it was still dark, to kisses all over my face from Jaymeson and then he left for work. We didn't get to talk all day, but when he came home he was very happy. He was super excited about our news, and he even told all of his work buddies. I, on the other hand, had turned into a worry wart. I have since, somewhat, warmed up to the idea, but I am still super nervous. I don't know if I am quite ready for this!

I am 6 weeks along, and so far pregnancy has made me one, mean Mama! I am tired (all of the time), hungry (all of the time), although nothing tastes or sounds good, and grumpy (all of the time.) Who came up with this pregnancy thing anyways!? 

We had our first appointment a few days ago, where they took SEVEN viles of blood from me. We did some other normal tests, and then we did an ultrasound.

Normally they don't do ultrasounds that early in the process, but I was having some pain in my left side so they were concerned about the location of the pregnancy. (Ectopic Pregnancy) The ultrasound found my uterus with a teeny, tiny baby in it right away. Thank goodness!

So all is well and Jaymeson and I are in the process of looking for a house to fit our new addition, and I am praying every day that I don't get fat.

A Sad Story

I come from a family of 6 other siblings. Four brothers and two sisters. I stand right in the middle. Number 4 of 7. Number 2 girl of 3. And I also have 2 older brothers and two younger brothers.

I have always shared a room with my sisters. I never had my own room until I was about 14 and we moved into a bigger house that allowed the 4 of us left at home to all have our own rooms.

My sisters have always been my best friends. Although, I annoyed my older sister by stealing her clothes and make up, and my younger sister annoyed me by stealing my clothes and make up. We grew closer and closer as we grow older.

When I got old enough to leave the nest, I had to make a big decision between going off to college only an hour and a half from home, or going off to college halfway across the country. My plan had always been to head off to AggieLand and live with my older sister and be best friends with her forever like one, big, happy family. After lots of praying and meditating, I made the decision to ditch my plans, and head off to ice cold Rexburg, ID... right in the middle of Winter.

I'm getting off topic.

During all of that praying and meditating, something happened. Things changed between my sister and I. Her beliefs and feelings about a lot of things changed, and she distanced herself from all of us.

For four years, we slowly grew apart, which turned into no communication at all. I was blocked on facebook, calls and texts were never returned, and all of the sudden, I no longer had an older sister. I don't even know how it happened.

So, occassionally (and quite often), I think about my sister and wonder how she's doing. I wander onto facebook and the internet and try to find any information I can about her. I search her name to see if I can find a blog, a social network, a picture, anything. Most of the time I have absolutely no luck. But yesterday, I found something.

You see, a big reason why she distanced herself from all of us, was because she changed religions. She went from being a Christian (LDS) to being an Atheist, in what I felt like was overnight. Our conversations turned into arguments about the beliefs of the LDS church, and that was about it. She felt like we had abandoned her because she changed her beliefs. And although, I can't really speak for the rest of my family, I know that I always made it clear that I didn't care what she believed, I just didn't want to be pushed to disbelieve what I have believed and trusted my entire life. She was still my sister, and I loved her no matter what.

So I was searching for anything on my sister and I came across a google link that read "Is it (insert sister's name here)? I don't want to add the wrong person." I clicked and read. The post was from a person who was talking about their facebook account, and how they sometimes write contraversial things about religion to wrile people up. They explained that they lived in Utah County, and all of their facebook friends were devout Mormons and would always get upset about the things he would write. He was asking for people who were less than Mormon to befriend him, or lead him a direction of less than Mormons that he could befriend so that he could have other friends to trash Mormonish with. People commented, and then one person said "Add (insert sister's name here)."

I was devastated. I understand that my sister has chosen a different path than I have. And I understand that things are different. But, how could my sister be associated with such hateful people and hateful talk about something that I love so dearly. I don't understand it, and my heart hurts to think about it.

It's been over a year since my sister last spoke with me. I don't even know if she thinks about me, or wonders about me. And I certainly don't know if she reads my blog, so I may be risking even more by posting this. But I have realized that my blog is a place for my feelings. A place I can express myself, and let out all of my emotions. I just hope that one day, my sister will miss me and wonder about me, so that it may lead her to me again. I miss her.

Happy Halloween

From the prettiest Princess of them all.

Thank You Sweet Stranger

They always say good things come to those who wait. They also say when one door closes, another door opens.

Today, I am a witness, and a testament of both of those statements.

I knew that me losing my job recently happened for a reason. I didn't know what it was, and I had no idea how or when I was going to find out, but today... I found out.

Let's back track. The day I lost my job, lots of coworkers, friends, and family reached out to help in any way they could. Lots of warm thoughts and kindness, lots of pick-me-ups, and LOTS of job leads.

One coworker recommended a friend who worked at a similar law office up in Salt Lake County. She gave me her number and I contacted her later that night. We texted back and forth several times about the job. I learned that it was essentially exactly what I was doing for the past 3 years. The office was down the street from my house, and the pay started at MORE than what I was making at Myler.

Needless to say, I was excited and hopeful that this would work out. The only problem was that I would be this girl's replacement, and that was contingent upon her getting another job.

We texted almost every day about the status of her job search, pros and cons about the position I was looking for, and other random things. She was a really nice girl, and she made me feel very confident about this job and my ability to do well in it.

A week had gone past and I interviewed for lots of other positions. None of them offered as much pay as I needed, and there was still no news of a new position for my new friend. She continually texted me to keep me updated, but I was getting discouraged. I emailed her my resume and she regularly checked in with me to let me know of any news.

Yesterday, I received a text from her saying that she got the job and that she would be turning in her two weeks notice the next day. She stating that she would hand in my resume when she turned in her two weeks notice and put in a good word.

Today, I received a text from her saying that she turned in my resume, and less than one minute later, a phone call from the office manager asking me to come in for an interview as soon as possible. I was so excited!! I had a few other interviews scheduled, and I needed to pick Jayah up from school, so I carefully planned out my schedule to make sure to do it all and get to each appointment on time.

I made it on time, even a few minutes early, and sat in their conference room waiting to meet with them. I met with the owner of the company and his office manager. It wasn't even an interview. They were so impressed by my resume that they knew they wanted me right away. I met with them for about 45 minutes and we laughed and talked and made plans within the company. The owner had to step out for a little bit, so I continued the "interview" with the office manager and then I was dismissed.

I walked out of the conference room and on my way out the door, the owner yelled to me "You'll be coming back, right?" I told him that I hoped so and walked out to my car. As soon as I sat down in my car, I got the call. I had gotten the job.

I have been BEAMING the last 3 hours because I am so excited about this new opportunity. Losing my job was devasting, heart breaking, and unbelievable to me, but I knew that something good would come out of this. I will now be working at a job that is down the street from our home, I will be making more than what I made after 3 years at the previous company, doing the exact same thing that I am so familiar with. They pay for my health insurance completely, and I start off with 12 days paid time off. Those 4 things, in itself, make this job 10x better than where I was before. I have the opportunity to grow majorly within the company, and so far, I get along great with every person I have met. I cannot express more, how excited I am for this new opportunity.

So I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet coworker for referring me to this awesome opportunity. And I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet, stranger whom I have never met, for caring enough and following through and helping make this position happen. I am so grateful to her for keeping me in mind and helping to provide this wonderful opportunity to me. I can't say that I would have ever done the same for a stranger before this moment.

Music to my Soul

I have always loved to sing. I grew up singing karaoke with my dad from as early as I can remember. I've been in choirs my whole life, church and school. And I just love to sing.

I wouldn't say I'm amazing, but I'm decent. I can hold a tune, I can read music, and I can harmonize, etc..

But one thing that makes me happier than anything is when I hear Jayah softly say to Jaymeson, "I like it when Heather sings. It makes me happy."

I'll sing to you for the rest of our lives, little one. Love you Jayah-Bug.

Diaries of the Unemployed

So, I lost my job recently. It has been a hard thing and a good thing. Definitely not what I would have imagined.

Hard, because I've had a full time job since I was 15 years old. It's weird for me to not be working every day. I like to work.

Also hard, because both Jaymeson and I need to work to support our family at this point in time. It's been a struggle and a bit of stress wondering if and how we are going to make it.

However, it has been a GOOD thing for a few more reasons.

First, and most importantly... Jaymeson was hit by a car at work last week. If I was working, I wouldn't have been able to answer the phone when I got the call, I wouldn't have been able to be there at the hospital with him, and I wouldn't have been able to stay home with him to take care of him. That has definitely been a blessing.

Second, I have been able to do all sorts of "wifey" things that I wasn't able to do before. For example, cook dinner every night, clean and organize the house, get rid of half of our wardrobe and do all of our laundry. It's such a good feeling being able to be a WIFE. When I was married to my first husband, I went to work full time and to school full time. I was gone from 7:30 AM to about 10:00 PM every night. I was the sole provider for our family and it really wore me down not being able to be a wife to my husband. This time is a little different because I wasn't going to school while working, but I was definitely worn down from the work I was doing, and even the commute every day. I have felt better about myself being able to contribute a lot around the house every day. It makes being home much more enjoyable.

Third, I found myself struggling with depression. I was angry all the time, I was annoyed with people I worked with, I was short with people I worked for, etc. It was bad and it was affecting my home life. Now that I am not working at that job, I have felt HAPPIER. I still have a ways to go in terms of overcoming all of this, but I am far less concerned about the long term outcome of those feelings than I believe I would have been otherwise.

I am a hard worker. That is something that anyone would tell you about me. Although I definitely know that I don't want this whole unemployed thing to last forever, I do feel comforted in the fact that I know it was supposed to happen at this time and that some way, some how, we will be blessed.