Announcing...

Jayah is extra excited to announce the birth of a baby brother or sister next Summer!

Jayah has been asking for a baby sister for as long as her Dad and I have been together (coming up on 2 years). Although, we aren't entirely sure that we'll be able to fulfill that wish 100%, we've got a good start!

The news came on a Thursday night when I was just two days late for my period. It was a stressful day, with lots (and lots) of crazy things happening. Jaymeson had mentioned his worries about if I was pregnant, etc, and how knowing that I wasn't would relieve some stress.. So we decided to take a trip to the local Smith's to get a pregnancy test.

 (Can you tell this wasn't planned?)

At Smith's, all the pregnancy tests were locked up in their own individual boxes, so we had to have a sales associates unlock the box for us. It took him probably 4-6 minutes to figure out how to do it. Then we bought it and headed home. The whole way home, I was reading online about the best time/way to take a pregnancy test. Jaymeson wanted me to take it right away, but I wanted to wait until morning, or until I was 7 days late, or any other time so I didn't have to face a "no" on the test.

I pretty much refused to take the test until the morning, so Jaymeson went to bed, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I took the test and saw this...

I sat there for a minute, texted this picture to my friend Sarah, and panicked. I have been baby hungry for quite some time, but I never actually thought it would happen so soon. I wandered around the house for a few minutes thinking of how to tell Jaymeson. I have always imagined the cutest ways to tell my husband that I was pregnant, so I wanted to plan something super cute. That lasted for a few minutes (I have no self control.) before I laid down next to Jaymeson and tapped him on the forehead to wake him up. I dropped the test down in front him. He looked at it and said "What?" and then "Why are there two lines?" and then held me until we both fell asleep.

I woke up in the morning, while it was still dark, to kisses all over my face from Jaymeson and then he left for work. We didn't get to talk all day, but when he came home he was very happy. He was super excited about our news, and he even told all of his work buddies. I, on the other hand, had turned into a worry wart. I have since, somewhat, warmed up to the idea, but I am still super nervous. I don't know if I am quite ready for this!

I am 6 weeks along, and so far pregnancy has made me one, mean Mama! I am tired (all of the time), hungry (all of the time), although nothing tastes or sounds good, and grumpy (all of the time.) Who came up with this pregnancy thing anyways!? 

We had our first appointment a few days ago, where they took SEVEN viles of blood from me. We did some other normal tests, and then we did an ultrasound.

Normally they don't do ultrasounds that early in the process, but I was having some pain in my left side so they were concerned about the location of the pregnancy. (Ectopic Pregnancy) The ultrasound found my uterus with a teeny, tiny baby in it right away. Thank goodness!

So all is well and Jaymeson and I are in the process of looking for a house to fit our new addition, and I am praying every day that I don't get fat.

A Sad Story

I come from a family of 6 other siblings. Four brothers and two sisters. I stand right in the middle. Number 4 of 7. Number 2 girl of 3. And I also have 2 older brothers and two younger brothers.

I have always shared a room with my sisters. I never had my own room until I was about 14 and we moved into a bigger house that allowed the 4 of us left at home to all have our own rooms.

My sisters have always been my best friends. Although, I annoyed my older sister by stealing her clothes and make up, and my younger sister annoyed me by stealing my clothes and make up. We grew closer and closer as we grow older.

When I got old enough to leave the nest, I had to make a big decision between going off to college only an hour and a half from home, or going off to college halfway across the country. My plan had always been to head off to AggieLand and live with my older sister and be best friends with her forever like one, big, happy family. After lots of praying and meditating, I made the decision to ditch my plans, and head off to ice cold Rexburg, ID... right in the middle of Winter.

I'm getting off topic.

During all of that praying and meditating, something happened. Things changed between my sister and I. Her beliefs and feelings about a lot of things changed, and she distanced herself from all of us.

For four years, we slowly grew apart, which turned into no communication at all. I was blocked on facebook, calls and texts were never returned, and all of the sudden, I no longer had an older sister. I don't even know how it happened.

So, occassionally (and quite often), I think about my sister and wonder how she's doing. I wander onto facebook and the internet and try to find any information I can about her. I search her name to see if I can find a blog, a social network, a picture, anything. Most of the time I have absolutely no luck. But yesterday, I found something.

You see, a big reason why she distanced herself from all of us, was because she changed religions. She went from being a Christian (LDS) to being an Atheist, in what I felt like was overnight. Our conversations turned into arguments about the beliefs of the LDS church, and that was about it. She felt like we had abandoned her because she changed her beliefs. And although, I can't really speak for the rest of my family, I know that I always made it clear that I didn't care what she believed, I just didn't want to be pushed to disbelieve what I have believed and trusted my entire life. She was still my sister, and I loved her no matter what.

So I was searching for anything on my sister and I came across a google link that read "Is it (insert sister's name here)? I don't want to add the wrong person." I clicked and read. The post was from a person who was talking about their facebook account, and how they sometimes write contraversial things about religion to wrile people up. They explained that they lived in Utah County, and all of their facebook friends were devout Mormons and would always get upset about the things he would write. He was asking for people who were less than Mormon to befriend him, or lead him a direction of less than Mormons that he could befriend so that he could have other friends to trash Mormonish with. People commented, and then one person said "Add (insert sister's name here)."

I was devastated. I understand that my sister has chosen a different path than I have. And I understand that things are different. But, how could my sister be associated with such hateful people and hateful talk about something that I love so dearly. I don't understand it, and my heart hurts to think about it.

It's been over a year since my sister last spoke with me. I don't even know if she thinks about me, or wonders about me. And I certainly don't know if she reads my blog, so I may be risking even more by posting this. But I have realized that my blog is a place for my feelings. A place I can express myself, and let out all of my emotions. I just hope that one day, my sister will miss me and wonder about me, so that it may lead her to me again. I miss her.

The Day I Became a Wife and a Mother

Hello everyone! You are now looking at the new Mrs. Jaymeson Roush! Woo hoo!

Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.

The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.

I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.

We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha

Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.

Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)

The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.

Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.

Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.

Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.

We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.

Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.

Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)

 















Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!

For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!

7/21/12

Today I got to be there to experience Jaymeson go through the temple for the first time. Oh my goodness, it was beautiful and perfect and better than I could have imagined! Normally the man gets to see the women go through the first time, but in our unique situation, I was blessed to be worthy to be there with him when he made such an important step in his eternal life. And I cried like a baby. (I blame the birth control.)

I'm going to admit that I was a little bit nervous. I was unsure of what he would think, or how he would feel. But he was a complete natural! I feel like I have been waiting for this moment forever, but I think I forgot that Jaymeson has been waiting even longer. He has completely turned his life around and prepared for this moment, coming up on 3 years.

I'm so proud of my Jaymeson for taking initiative of his own life and making the choice to get sealed in the temple some day. Today he made sacred covenants that many doubted he ever would. One week from today he and I will be starting our eternal family, and although I know so many doubted us and fought hard to break us apart, I could not be happier to be spending the rest of eternity with such a wonderful man. He has helped me become someone to be proud of and I couldn't have asked for a more loving person to share my life with.

Congratulations Jaymeson, you are an incredible example to your family and friends. I love you!

7 more days...

Ba-da-bop-bop-ba...

Jaymeson, Jayah, and I had sort of an incident recently at McDonalds.

Here's how it went down:

Jaymeson has just moved into his brand new apartment. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, in his kitchen. So before church, we took Jayah to McDonalds for breakfast. We ordered our food, and then Jayah and I went to the bathroom. We did our thing, and on the way out I stopped and said "On hold Jayah, I need to wash my hands." Half a second later, she screams and the door bursts open. I rush around the corner and see blood everywhere, and the tip of her finger is literally hanging off.

I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I sat there for what felt like minutes, holding Jayah's head to the left of me and her hand on my right so she couldn't see anything, and then yelled for Jaymeson. He came over, saw the situation, and very calmly said we needed to go. I, like a zombie, followed him out the door to the car.

Meanwhile, everyone around was freaking out. And one genius McDonalds worker was considerate enough to ask if we needed a bandaid. No thanks, I think we'll go to the hospital.

Jaymeson quickly searched for the nearest hospital while I talked to Jayah and tried to keep her calm. The funny thing is, she was much more concerned about my shirt and whether or not I liked it, then anything that was going on with her hand.

We went to the closest medical facility around the corner and they informed us that they couldn't help. They did however give Jaymeson some gauze and tape and allowed him to wrap Jayah's hand to stop the bleeding. We then went to the Hospital a few exits down, which also happened to be the hospital where Miss Jayah first entered the world three weeks shy of four years ago.

To back up a little bit, there were a few rather crazy things leading up to the situation.

First, that weekend, the topic of most of Jayah's conversations was blood and death. She asked us all day long, if the laundry basket was dead, or if the tv was dead, or if her hair was dead (which, by the way, it is), etc. She even told me herself that as long as something had blood in it, it's alive. Weird.

Second, as Jayah and I were headed to the bathroom on that fateful day, Jaymeson imagined something crazy happening. He said he turned around and saw the man who happened to be the one to push the bathroom door open to free Jayah's hand. He imagined that as we were leaving the bathroom, that man was going to knock jayah out and run off with me. He was in the process of imagining how we would have reacted when he heard jayah cry and me yelling for him. Even weirder, right?

Turns out, Jayah and her poor little finger are going to be fine. She lost the tip of it. They had to shorten it just a little bit, but the doctor said her nail would grow back and it could definitely look mostly normal in time. She was such a big girl! I think we were all proud of how strong and brave she was from the very beginning.

The very next day, I got to spend some time with her and she was pretty normal. Still a little loopy, but also her crazy upbeat self. And one week later she's still going strong! She was even in her very first play this weekend, "Annie Get Your Gun." She was the cutest little towns person and piglet you ever did see. ;)

After this little incident, all of the sudden lots of people were telling me stories of where this exact thing happened to them or someone they know. Apparently it's not an uncommon thing to slice the tip of your finger off! All of them have very normal looking, almost scar free fingers. So that makes me feel better.

For the first couple of days, I received phone calls from some of Jayah's family members, and some of my friends asking how I was doing. For a while I was unsure of why anyone would ask how I was doing, since I didn't lose a finger... but I slowly started to understand when I started having my own little series of nightmares about McDonalds. I think the blood all over my shirt, and the initial sight of it all really got to me. I think about the situation all the time, and every single time I see a McDonalds, I have a small panic attack. I've sworn to myself that I will never step foot in a McDonalds again.

(Side note: Jaymeson and I went back to the very same McDonalds to play out the situation again. There was still blood on the floor and on the bathroom door. 11 hours later... and they had not yet cleaned up the blood. We took pictures of the mess and also videos of the door closing, you know, for future reference. Sad thing is, Jayah probably didn't have a chance. That door was heavy, and although against their regulations, it didn't have a stop on the door to slow it down. Lucky for them, they agreed to pay her medical bills without a fight.)

One sweet friend at work noticed that I was having a hard time and talked to me about it. She told me that she sincerely believes that everything happens for a reason, and that maybe we can't even imagine a reason for it now, but there is one.

I thought about that for a long time. (Very unproductive day at work.) I've come to the conclusion that she's right. This did happen for a reason. Whether it be a small reminder to Jayah that we all have our imperfections and she's still beautiful and perfect to those that matter even without the tip of her finger, or that maybe one or both of us may have one day suffered from obesity as a result of McDonalds. But it did happen, and for a reason. Only time will tell.

I'm grateful to that friend for so sweetly reminding me that accidents happen and that God is in charge. How grateful I am to know and understand the Gospel.

Moral of the story: Don't let your kids out of your sight in any public restroom.

Trying to find a place in this world.

Jaymeson and I go to a ward that consists of us, Jaymeson's family, and about 90% of the rest of the congregation is getting ready to die.

Literally.

Even in Relief Society, they refer to the group as a whole as "senior citizens". And in Priesthood, everywhere Jaymeson looks there are walkers and oxygen tanks.

Being in this ward has sort of been a challenge for me. I love church. I love feeling the Spirit. I love being surrounded by people who have the same beliefs that I do. I moved around a lot with my family growing up, and I always looked forward to going to church because that was a place where I was guaranteed to make friends. Not in this ward. I'm positive the only other person that is near my age is Jaymeson's sister-in-law, and even that has a few year difference, and her calling is in Young Womens. So, it's just me, sitting in Relief Society, along with a bunch of senior citizens.

Where am I going with this?

It's been hard for me to get excited about church the last few months knowing that I don't have friends there, and practically every Sunday is spent listening to a bunch of old folk debate about what they each think the scriptures say. Luckily I have Jaymeson's mom in there with me, who I love very much. And she's not a senior citizen... yet. ;)

But this Sunday, I learned something very simple, yet very inspiring from the old folk.

Now, I'm the type of person who loves to tell everyone what they learned when they learm it. I will talk and talk and talk about it, until I've convinced myself that I've taught you the same lesson. This is one of those times. I'll try to keep it short. :)

What's the difference between a place, and a space?

Think about it.

The difference is, a place is where something belongs. A space is just where you put something for the time being. When something has a place, we know where it is when we are looking for it. But if it's in a space, sometimes we don't know where to find it. Cool, huh?

This can apply to anything.

So my goal for the rest of my life, is to give everything a place. Especially the important things, like my family, my friends, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, my husband, and my children. (Not in that order.)

Now, time to for my favorite Monday Night Tradition. Unhealthy food, The Bachelor, and my handsome Jaymeson, and his beautiful mother. :)

It is the reminder that the fight goes on...

"It is the plain and very sobering truth that before great moments, certainly before great spiritual moments, there can come adversity, opposition, and darkness. Life has some of those moments for us, and occasionally they come just as we are approaching an important decision or a significant step in our lives."

Thank you to my good friend Heidi for reminding me of this wonderful devotional given by Elder Holland several years ago.

I've been thinking a lot about this very thing lately. It always seems like the transition from Summer to Winter is always a hard time in the lives of people that I know. It certainly is for me. I hate the Winter. But besides that, I'm in the middle of a long process of a lot of big decisions in my life. I've been up and I've been down. I've had happy moments, and very sad moments. I've been hopeful, and I've been hopeless. And I've been really lost. But this passage from Elder Holland helps to put everything into perspective for me.

He reminds us that Satan doesn't want us to succeed spiritually. Meaning the small things, such as going to church every Sunday, reading our scriptures and praying, being an example to those around us. Or even the big things, such as living the Law of Chasity, or the Word of Wisdom, or choosing to be married in the temple. He reminds us that when we are at our highest points, they may feel, or even turn into our lowest points because of Satan.

Elder Holland says that "With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don’t give up when the pressure mounts. Certainly don’t give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. Face your doubts. Master your fears. 'Cast not away therefore your confidence.' Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

He tells us that "This opposition turns up almost any place something good has happened. It can happen when you are trying to get an education. It can hit you after your first month in your new mission field. It certainly happens in matters of love and marriage. It can occur in situations related to your family, Church callings, or career." And that is so true. When I look back at the moments in my life, where I was doing my best, that is when I felt the pressure to do my worst. And ironically enough, the moments where I have been my lowest, are the moments that I have drawn closest to God and strengthened my testimony in Him.

Something I have been falling short on is my ability to have confidence in myself, and in my decisions. I don't pray to know as often as I should, and then when I do, I doubt that my thoughts are coming from God, or if they are coming from myself. (You see, I am definitely an overthinker.) As Elder Holland explains, we can apply a great message from Moses to our every day lives today:

"Don’t let your guard down. Don’t assume that a great revelation, some marvelous, illuminating moment, the opening of an inspired path, is the end of it. Remember, it isn’t over until it’s over.

And God will help us to know when it is over.

My favorite quote from the whole devotional is this:

"The reminder is that we cannot sign on for a battle of such eternal significance and everlasting consequence without knowing it will be a fight—a good fight and a winning fight, but a fight nevertheless."

How often are we fighting for what is right? How often do we sit back and allow wrong to happen in our lives and in the lives of those around us? It's hard. This life is a fight. But just as Elder Holland states, "..we cannot sign on for a battle of such eternal signficance... without knowing it will be a fight...". And I am prepared to win the fight.

Something that brings me great comfort is this thought; "Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord. … The Lord shall fight for you.”

The devotional ends with Elder Holland exclaiming, "If God has told you something is right, if something is indeed true for you, He will provide the way for you to accomplish it."

I have seen that in my own life, in my families lives, and in my relationships. I know that to be true. God will never allow us to be tempted more than we are able, and he will always provide a way for us to accomplish the things he asks of us.

We are here for a reason. This life is hard, but it is a test. And I want to pass it. I will pass it, with flying colors, and I will live in eternal salvation with my family forever. I cannot wait. :)

If anyone would like to read this talk as a whole; it is called “Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence” by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. And you can find that on www.lds.org.

:)

Together Again.

I started this blog post a while back, but never finished it. I noticed it this morning waiting to cook the best dinner in the world for Jaymeson and some friends tonight, and after being hassled by Jessie to write a blog post, I figured I'd finish it. :)

I don't remember where I found this quote, but I remember when I saw it, it really stood out to me.

"We don't know when the people that we love are going to be taken from us, so we should cherish every moment that we have with them."

Death is something that I have no idea about. I have never experienced someone that is close to me dying. Not even grandparents. My dad's dad died when I was pretty young, and my other three grandparents are still alive. I still have my parents, and all six of my siblings. I'm pretty lucky I guess.

I have a few close friends who have had direct family members die and I've watched them overcome the sadness, and they have definitely become a great example to me.

I was joking with Jaymeson last night about me dying while on this roadtrip to San Diego without him. What would he do without me? Really. Ha.

Not that I'm actually going to die any time soon (cross your fingers), but regardless, I'm not afraid of death. I know why I am here, and I know where I'm going and I can't wait to get there. It's going to be so wonderful and beautiful and perfect to be back in Heavenly Father's arms again someday.

The part that really stands out to me though, is this:

"...cherish every moment that we have with them."

Sometimes (always) I get caught up in the business side of myself. I'm a "task master" as my dad calls it. I get things done. And I think sometimes I get caught up in too many tasks and forget to sit back and relax and just have fun. I fill my life up with way too many things. I make lists. I work full time. I go to school full time. I volunteer. I barely ever have a spare second to just sit back and act like a dork. Fortunately for me, Jaymeson is very opposite of me and spends most of his time acting like a dork and it helps to loosen me up a little bit when I get stressed.

Tomorrow morning, Sarah and I are headed out for our best friends wedding in San Diego. I'm excited to share this special moment with Raven and Sarah. It'll be one of the first times we've all been together, just us, since we were in high school. It'll bring back a lot of memories, and form several more.

I'm so happy for Raven, and the opportunity she has to be sealed to her best friend, and the man of her dreams for time and all eternity. I'm so grateful that I will have the chance to be in the temple with her when she receives her own endowments and kneels across the altar to be sealed to Andy forever. Plus, I get to spend a week on the beach in sweet, sweet San Diego. It's gonna be a good week.

M-Unit together again.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

photo from google images

 This is a photo of the Provo, UT Temple for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

A few months ago, I was going through a particularly hard time, and a friend of mine's dad gave me a blessing and encouraged me to attend the temple once a week. He promised me that if I did, I would find the answers that I needed, and I would be able to get through "this" quickly.  

And he was right!

I started going. Every single week. I usually go on Friday nights, as a date night to myself, and I mostly go alone. I tried to go to different temples throughout Utah and Salt Lake Valley, but this one is just a few seconds down the road, so I find myself there most often. 

 Temples are healing. Temples renew our souls. 

No sacrifice is too great to get to the temple.

Without the temple, we cannot live again with our Heavenly Father,

and we cannot be with our families for eternity. 

Through temples, we can help others do what they cannot do for themselves.

What a blessing to be able to do the Lord's work,

and what a privilege to be trusted by God for this purpose.

I am so grateful to be worthy to enter the House of the Lord.

A Quote.

 A quote to learn to live by...

 

I found this quote on my cousin Andra's blog.

It was especially needed today. I'm at a time in my life 

where I'm rediscovering myself.

Wait, didn't I just do this?

Apparently, it's a never ending process in the life of Heather Sampson.

I'm probably going to post this quote on my mirror, along with many other inspiration quotes and goals, so that I can be reminded every day to 

change the way I think about things.

I'm going to teach myself to let go of the little things.

To recognize when things are just fine the way that they are.

And to remember that it's ok to change my mind.

With this quote from my wonderful cousin, comes this other quote that I love.

Some call it the Serenity Prayer.

 

If you have a chance, listen to that link. It's beautiful, and the video has lots of beautiful messages.

Anyways, off I go again, trying to take things day at a time. (so far... no good. haha)

Something different.

I'm going to step away from the 30 day challenge for a minute...

Mostly because I can't figure out who the heck I'd want to switch places with for a day.

But also because of this picture...

This picture has been giving me some inspiration lately.

It's even currently the background on my phone.

These balloons have been in my house for over three weeks.

Three of them are from my roommate, Ariel's, birthday on February 13th. The other ten are from a very special boy on Valentines Day, who sent them, with flowers, to my work. :)

For some reason, that one balloon that still lives on, touches my heart. I feel like a freak saying that, but it really does. Every time I see it, I feel this small glimmer of hope.

I feel like this balloon symbolizes a few things.

One of those things being the strength that I've had to get through in the last year of my life, when I think that others in my situation wouldn't have. I feel extremely blessed to have come out of the last year with the attitude and experiences that I've had. I wouldn't change it for the world. I've learned so much about myself, and relationships, and my future, and I'm definitely 15 steps ahead of where I used to be.

Another thing, having the strength to stand strong and firm in what I believe, when others around me do not. I feel like this isn't something that I've ever struggled with. I've always known what was right for me, and what I wanted to do, and it's never been hard for me to stick to those values. I'm so grateful to have that strength as well.

And the last thing, standing out. Have you seen the motivational poster of all the blue balloons in the sky, and one of the balloons is yellow? I tried to find that picture, but I didn't have any luck. When I see this picture of my balloons, that's what I think about. Standing out and being different. That's one of my favorite things. I love to be different. I love not following the crowd, or following fads, and being different. I'm definitely not that different, but you can tell... at least a little bit. And I like it that way. :)