Somebody mentioned something the other day, that reminded me of a lesson I learned a long time ago.
Marriage is (not) disposable.
When I was in high school, I remember a conversation with my Bishop where he was talking about the difference between now and 10, 20, 40, 50 years ago.
Twenty-plus years ago, people worked hard for everything they had. If the toaster was broken, they'd fix it. If pants had a hole in them, they'd patch them up. If feelings were hurt, they'd mend them If a marriage was broken... they would work hard to fix it. People rarely took things for granted because they had to work hard to get it. They appreciated everything they had and took care of it.
Today, everything is disposable. People don't work for anything. People take everything for granted. Everyone is constantly looking for "out with the old, in with the new." If the toaster is broken, let's throw it away and buy a new one. If our pants are holey, let's get rid of them and get some more. If our marriage is broken, let's just get divorced. That's easier, right?
Wrong.
I realize that's harsh. I realize that some people aren't like that. But I have little faith in people these days. But there is one thing I have faith in...
I made a vow to myself, to God, to my family, to my husband that I would fight to the death for my marriage. No matter how hard it got, I would fight for it. That's what I did before, snd that's what I intend to do now.
Lucky for me, I found someone who feels the same way.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Saturday, August 18, 2012
My Happiness Project.
I have found myself lately being fairly depressed while I am at home and Jaymeson is working late. Life is hard when the only person you want to spend every second with, has to spend most of their seconds somewhere else.
I don't really have any hobbies, all of my friends live everywhere EXCEPT within a 40 mile radius of me, I hate our house (we are moving soon) so there are no projects there, and I'm tired of spending so much time on the couch, watching movies. I want to GET OUT and do something!
Today I was google-ing "Things to do to make you happy" and came across this website...
Click Here
...and decided that for the next little while, I am going to leisurely complete every single one of these tasks, on my own, while Jaymeson is at work. Starting today. And to make it even more difficult, I am going to do them in the order they are listed. I'll keep you updated. :)
Eat that, unhappy Heather!
I don't really have any hobbies, all of my friends live everywhere EXCEPT within a 40 mile radius of me, I hate our house (we are moving soon) so there are no projects there, and I'm tired of spending so much time on the couch, watching movies. I want to GET OUT and do something!
Today I was google-ing "Things to do to make you happy" and came across this website...
Click Here
...and decided that for the next little while, I am going to leisurely complete every single one of these tasks, on my own, while Jaymeson is at work. Starting today. And to make it even more difficult, I am going to do them in the order they are listed. I'll keep you updated. :)
Eat that, unhappy Heather!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The Day I Became a Wife and a Mother
Hello everyone! You are now looking at the new Mrs. Jaymeson Roush! Woo hoo!
Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.
The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.
I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.
We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha
Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.
Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)
The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.
Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.
Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.
Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.
We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.
Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.
Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)
Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!
For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!
Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.
The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.
I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.
We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha
Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.
Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)
The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.
Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.
Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.
Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.
We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.
Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.
Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)
Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!
For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
7/21/12
Today I got to be there to experience Jaymeson go through the temple for the first time. Oh my goodness, it was beautiful and perfect and better than I could have imagined! Normally the man gets to see the women go through the first time, but in our unique situation, I was blessed to be worthy to be there with him when he made such an important step in his eternal life. And I cried like a baby. (I blame the birth control.)
I'm going to admit that I was a little bit nervous. I was unsure of what he would think, or how he would feel. But he was a complete natural! I feel like I have been waiting for this moment forever, but I think I forgot that Jaymeson has been waiting even longer. He has completely turned his life around and prepared for this moment, coming up on 3 years.
I'm so proud of my Jaymeson for taking initiative of his own life and making the choice to get sealed in the temple some day. Today he made sacred covenants that many doubted he ever would. One week from today he and I will be starting our eternal family, and although I know so many doubted us and fought hard to break us apart, I could not be happier to be spending the rest of eternity with such a wonderful man. He has helped me become someone to be proud of and I couldn't have asked for a more loving person to share my life with.
Congratulations Jaymeson, you are an incredible example to your family and friends. I love you!
7 more days...
I'm going to admit that I was a little bit nervous. I was unsure of what he would think, or how he would feel. But he was a complete natural! I feel like I have been waiting for this moment forever, but I think I forgot that Jaymeson has been waiting even longer. He has completely turned his life around and prepared for this moment, coming up on 3 years.
I'm so proud of my Jaymeson for taking initiative of his own life and making the choice to get sealed in the temple some day. Today he made sacred covenants that many doubted he ever would. One week from today he and I will be starting our eternal family, and although I know so many doubted us and fought hard to break us apart, I could not be happier to be spending the rest of eternity with such a wonderful man. He has helped me become someone to be proud of and I couldn't have asked for a more loving person to share my life with.
Congratulations Jaymeson, you are an incredible example to your family and friends. I love you!
7 more days...
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
A friend of a friend...
I realized something rather interesting at my Bridal Shower this past weekend.
There was a variety of people there, most that didn't know each other. As friends were introducing themselves to one another, the subject of how they knew me came up. Probably close to half of those girls there knew me as a result of my ex husband.
There was an old coworker of his.
An old friend of his sister's.
One or two good friends who took me in during my separation.
His old mission companion's wife.
His best friend's brother's wife.
A roommate from just after my divorce.
The bridal shower even unknowingly took place in a home that I spent the summer of my separation learning to sew in.
Heck, I only know my fiance because of him!
As I heard the laughter of everyone's crazy story on how they know me, someone mentioned to me about how I must have gotten the friends in the divorce. As funny as that is, I think it is true! Mostly I don't talk to anyone I knew from when I was married, but those that I do are mostly mutual friends of ours that have stayed close to me and have supported me in my efforts to restore my life.
I am so grateful for the love and support that so many people have shown me going through my divorce up until finding the man of my dreams and marrying him for eternity. I know I couldn't have done it without so many of them, and I am so grateful that God has blessed me with some beautiful people to share my experiences with.
Guess I definitely got the better end of the deal.
There was a variety of people there, most that didn't know each other. As friends were introducing themselves to one another, the subject of how they knew me came up. Probably close to half of those girls there knew me as a result of my ex husband.
There was an old coworker of his.
An old friend of his sister's.
One or two good friends who took me in during my separation.
His old mission companion's wife.
His best friend's brother's wife.
A roommate from just after my divorce.
The bridal shower even unknowingly took place in a home that I spent the summer of my separation learning to sew in.
Heck, I only know my fiance because of him!
As I heard the laughter of everyone's crazy story on how they know me, someone mentioned to me about how I must have gotten the friends in the divorce. As funny as that is, I think it is true! Mostly I don't talk to anyone I knew from when I was married, but those that I do are mostly mutual friends of ours that have stayed close to me and have supported me in my efforts to restore my life.
I am so grateful for the love and support that so many people have shown me going through my divorce up until finding the man of my dreams and marrying him for eternity. I know I couldn't have done it without so many of them, and I am so grateful that God has blessed me with some beautiful people to share my experiences with.
Guess I definitely got the better end of the deal.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Jayah's Example
Jayah and I went to my bridal shower yesterday and I promised Jayah that if she was good, she could pick what we did after the shower. Well, she was good, so she got to pick, and she picked... shopping.
She's four, and she picked shopping. Specifically for makeup and nail polish and "hot heels". We are in for some interesting teenage years.
So we went to Old Navy to shop. I'm a bargain shopper, I almost never even look at anything besides the sale racks. So I found this cute little pink romper for $7.00, and some cute matching flip flops for $1.00 that I was so excited about. So I bought them. Next, Jayah just HAD to go to the mall. So we drove down the block to the mall. I was so excited about the outfit that I wanted to change her into it before we went into the mall. You can tell by the look on her face in the picture below just how much she loved it. But it's the reason that she "loved" it that surprised me.
I put it on her and was gushing about how cute she was in it and how her daddy was going to love it, and she started crying! I was so surprised because she loves wearing pink, and she is usually the easiest little girl, but she was crying! I asked her what was wrong, and her response was "I don't want to wear something without sleeves."
Holy moly, did I feel like a terrible parent. My little four year old was being the example to ME.
Modesty was never an issue to me because my mom pretty much never gave me any other option. I had a really good group of friends with the same standards as me growing up, and it was just never a question that I was going to be modest. After high school I went to the temple very quickly and have been wearing my "g's" since, so it has never really been an option since either.
Now I've been put in this unique situation where I buy a child clothing on a regular basis. I've been buying her clothing for close to a year and a half, but this specific situation has never come up. Ironically, the lesson in primary last week was on modesty. And Jayah wasn't even with us last Sunday!
Needless to say, I am truly impressed, and so proud of Miss Jayah for knowing the difference between modest and immodest, and being strong enough to tell me so. I hope that she will always remember that feeling, and strive her whole life to continue to be an example to others.
She's four, and she picked shopping. Specifically for makeup and nail polish and "hot heels". We are in for some interesting teenage years.
So we went to Old Navy to shop. I'm a bargain shopper, I almost never even look at anything besides the sale racks. So I found this cute little pink romper for $7.00, and some cute matching flip flops for $1.00 that I was so excited about. So I bought them. Next, Jayah just HAD to go to the mall. So we drove down the block to the mall. I was so excited about the outfit that I wanted to change her into it before we went into the mall. You can tell by the look on her face in the picture below just how much she loved it. But it's the reason that she "loved" it that surprised me.
I put it on her and was gushing about how cute she was in it and how her daddy was going to love it, and she started crying! I was so surprised because she loves wearing pink, and she is usually the easiest little girl, but she was crying! I asked her what was wrong, and her response was "I don't want to wear something without sleeves."
Holy moly, did I feel like a terrible parent. My little four year old was being the example to ME.
Modesty was never an issue to me because my mom pretty much never gave me any other option. I had a really good group of friends with the same standards as me growing up, and it was just never a question that I was going to be modest. After high school I went to the temple very quickly and have been wearing my "g's" since, so it has never really been an option since either.
Now I've been put in this unique situation where I buy a child clothing on a regular basis. I've been buying her clothing for close to a year and a half, but this specific situation has never come up. Ironically, the lesson in primary last week was on modesty. And Jayah wasn't even with us last Sunday!
Needless to say, I am truly impressed, and so proud of Miss Jayah for knowing the difference between modest and immodest, and being strong enough to tell me so. I hope that she will always remember that feeling, and strive her whole life to continue to be an example to others.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
One life to live.
I'm a big time Greys Anatomy buff. I love it, and I look forward to it every week. The season finale ended a few weeks ago, and I have practically been lost every Thursday night, not knowing what to do with myself.
While watching Grey's Anatomy several weeks ago, I practically re-lived a very real feeling, that I felt over 2 years ago.
To sum it up: Christina and Owen are married. They start to have issues, things go bad, and then he cheats on her. She knows it (but not literally), and confronts him about it. He admits to it. She is hysterical and locks herself in the bathroom.
I'm almost positive, that was my exact reaction when my husband cheated on me. Bathroom and all.
I am not a crier. But while watching that scene, I got really emotional. I literally felt how it felt to love someone so much, and have a serious commitment to them, and then find out something that heartbreaking. It was a small and short depressing moment for me.
And then, I looked to my right, and there was my sweet, sweet Jaymeson. Who was probably feeling similar feelings, as the very same thing happened to him at the very same time that it happened to me.
I looked to my right, and I felt love. Real love. We have been together for close to a year and a half, and it was like butterflies all over again. I laid my head on his shoulder, and I felt safe. I knew that as long I was with my Jaymeson, I would never have to feel that dreadful feeling ever again. And I am so grateful for that security.
I am so grateful to Jaymeson for loving me like he does. For dealing with all of my crazy insecurities, and proving to me time and time again that he will love me unconditionally for eternity. I know that everything in my life has led to me him, and I couldn't have asked for a better someone to share the rest of my life with.
While watching Grey's Anatomy several weeks ago, I practically re-lived a very real feeling, that I felt over 2 years ago.
To sum it up: Christina and Owen are married. They start to have issues, things go bad, and then he cheats on her. She knows it (but not literally), and confronts him about it. He admits to it. She is hysterical and locks herself in the bathroom.
I'm almost positive, that was my exact reaction when my husband cheated on me. Bathroom and all.
I am not a crier. But while watching that scene, I got really emotional. I literally felt how it felt to love someone so much, and have a serious commitment to them, and then find out something that heartbreaking. It was a small and short depressing moment for me.
And then, I looked to my right, and there was my sweet, sweet Jaymeson. Who was probably feeling similar feelings, as the very same thing happened to him at the very same time that it happened to me.
I looked to my right, and I felt love. Real love. We have been together for close to a year and a half, and it was like butterflies all over again. I laid my head on his shoulder, and I felt safe. I knew that as long I was with my Jaymeson, I would never have to feel that dreadful feeling ever again. And I am so grateful for that security.
I am so grateful to Jaymeson for loving me like he does. For dealing with all of my crazy insecurities, and proving to me time and time again that he will love me unconditionally for eternity. I know that everything in my life has led to me him, and I couldn't have asked for a better someone to share the rest of my life with.
37 more days!!!
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