Thank Heavens for pregnancy pillows.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Scratch That
The real secret to terrible sleeping and back pain is a pregnancy pillow.
Thank Heavens for pregnancy pillows.
Thank Heavens for pregnancy pillows.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Pregnancy Secret # 1
Today marks 8 weeks of baby. It sure seems like this is the slowest thing to ever happen to me. March (gender reveal) seems to far away. August (due date) seems like an eternity away.
So far, pregnancy has not been good to me. I am nauseaus all the time, though I have only actually thrown up a hand full of times. I am tired all of the time. I am grumpy all of the time.
Right after I found out I was pregnant, I noticed that my hips and back were sore always. I talked to my doctor about it, who says that that's just my body (hips) preparing for child birth. I guess that's what happens when you are an almost 24 year old female with absolutely no curves.
(Also, I am already showing. How can I be already showing at 8 weeks, when the baby is only the size of a raspberry?? Must be another thing that happens when you are shaped like a boy.)
So it was making it hard to sleep. My doctor told me that if I slept with a pillow between my legs, that would help my back stay alligned at night, which would decrease the pain and soreness. Sure, why not?
It worked.
I still have a hard time sleeping sometimes, but I blame that mostly on Jaymeson and his ever annoying elbows in my back.
Here's to 32 more weeks...
So far, pregnancy has not been good to me. I am nauseaus all the time, though I have only actually thrown up a hand full of times. I am tired all of the time. I am grumpy all of the time.
Right after I found out I was pregnant, I noticed that my hips and back were sore always. I talked to my doctor about it, who says that that's just my body (hips) preparing for child birth. I guess that's what happens when you are an almost 24 year old female with absolutely no curves.
(Also, I am already showing. How can I be already showing at 8 weeks, when the baby is only the size of a raspberry?? Must be another thing that happens when you are shaped like a boy.)
So it was making it hard to sleep. My doctor told me that if I slept with a pillow between my legs, that would help my back stay alligned at night, which would decrease the pain and soreness. Sure, why not?
It worked.
I still have a hard time sleeping sometimes, but I blame that mostly on Jaymeson and his ever annoying elbows in my back.
Here's to 32 more weeks...
 |
| This is baby at 7 weeks. |
Monday, December 10, 2012
Announcing...
Jayah is extra excited to announce the birth of a baby brother or sister next Summer!
Jayah has been asking for a baby sister for as long as her Dad and I have been together (coming up on 2 years). Although, we aren't entirely sure that we'll be able to fulfill that wish 100%, we've got a good start!
The news came on a Thursday night when I was just two days late for my period. It was a stressful day, with lots (and lots) of crazy things happening. Jaymeson had mentioned his worries about if I was pregnant, etc, and how knowing that I wasn't would relieve some stress.. So we decided to take a trip to the local Smith's to get a pregnancy test.
(Can you tell this wasn't planned?)
At Smith's, all the pregnancy tests were locked up in their own individual boxes, so we had to have a sales associates unlock the box for us. It took him probably 4-6 minutes to figure out how to do it. Then we bought it and headed home. The whole way home, I was reading online about the best time/way to take a pregnancy test. Jaymeson wanted me to take it right away, but I wanted to wait until morning, or until I was 7 days late, or any other time so I didn't have to face a "no" on the test.
I pretty much refused to take the test until the morning, so Jaymeson went to bed, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I took the test and saw this...
The news came on a Thursday night when I was just two days late for my period. It was a stressful day, with lots (and lots) of crazy things happening. Jaymeson had mentioned his worries about if I was pregnant, etc, and how knowing that I wasn't would relieve some stress.. So we decided to take a trip to the local Smith's to get a pregnancy test.
(Can you tell this wasn't planned?)
At Smith's, all the pregnancy tests were locked up in their own individual boxes, so we had to have a sales associates unlock the box for us. It took him probably 4-6 minutes to figure out how to do it. Then we bought it and headed home. The whole way home, I was reading online about the best time/way to take a pregnancy test. Jaymeson wanted me to take it right away, but I wanted to wait until morning, or until I was 7 days late, or any other time so I didn't have to face a "no" on the test.
I pretty much refused to take the test until the morning, so Jaymeson went to bed, and I couldn't handle it anymore. I took the test and saw this...
I sat there for a minute, texted this picture to my friend Sarah, and panicked. I have been baby hungry for quite some time, but I never actually thought it would happen so soon. I wandered around the house for a few minutes thinking of how to tell Jaymeson. I have always imagined the cutest ways to tell my husband that I was pregnant, so I wanted to plan something super cute. That lasted for a few minutes (I have no self control.) before I laid down next to Jaymeson and tapped him on the forehead to wake him up. I dropped the test down in front him. He looked at it and said "What?" and then "Why are there two lines?" and then held me until we both fell asleep.
I woke up in the morning, while it was still dark, to kisses all over my face from Jaymeson and then he left for work. We didn't get to talk all day, but when he came home he was very happy. He was super excited about our news, and he even told all of his work buddies. I, on the other hand, had turned into a worry wart. I have since, somewhat, warmed up to the idea, but I am still super nervous. I don't know if I am quite ready for this!
I am 6 weeks along, and so far pregnancy has made me one, mean Mama! I am tired (all of the time), hungry (all of the time), although nothing tastes or sounds good, and grumpy (all of the time.) Who came up with this pregnancy thing anyways!?
I woke up in the morning, while it was still dark, to kisses all over my face from Jaymeson and then he left for work. We didn't get to talk all day, but when he came home he was very happy. He was super excited about our news, and he even told all of his work buddies. I, on the other hand, had turned into a worry wart. I have since, somewhat, warmed up to the idea, but I am still super nervous. I don't know if I am quite ready for this!
I am 6 weeks along, and so far pregnancy has made me one, mean Mama! I am tired (all of the time), hungry (all of the time), although nothing tastes or sounds good, and grumpy (all of the time.) Who came up with this pregnancy thing anyways!?
We had our first appointment a few days ago, where they took SEVEN viles of blood from me. We did some other normal tests, and then we did an ultrasound.
Normally they don't do ultrasounds that early in the process, but I was having some pain in my left side so they were concerned about the location of the pregnancy. (Ectopic Pregnancy) The ultrasound found my uterus with a teeny, tiny baby in it right away. Thank goodness!
So all is well and Jaymeson and I are in the process of looking for a house to fit our new addition, and I am praying every day that I don't get fat.
Friday, November 16, 2012
A Sad Story
I come from a family of 6 other siblings. Four brothers and two sisters. I stand right in the middle. Number 4 of 7. Number 2 girl of 3. And I also have 2 older brothers and two younger brothers.
I have always shared a room with my sisters. I never had my own room until I was about 14 and we moved into a bigger house that allowed the 4 of us left at home to all have our own rooms.
My sisters have always been my best friends. Although, I annoyed my older sister by stealing her clothes and make up, and my younger sister annoyed me by stealing my clothes and make up. We grew closer and closer as we grow older.
When I got old enough to leave the nest, I had to make a big decision between going off to college only an hour and a half from home, or going off to college halfway across the country. My plan had always been to head off to AggieLand and live with my older sister and be best friends with her forever like one, big, happy family. After lots of praying and meditating, I made the decision to ditch my plans, and head off to ice cold Rexburg, ID... right in the middle of Winter.
I'm getting off topic.
During all of that praying and meditating, something happened. Things changed between my sister and I. Her beliefs and feelings about a lot of things changed, and she distanced herself from all of us.
For four years, we slowly grew apart, which turned into no communication at all. I was blocked on facebook, calls and texts were never returned, and all of the sudden, I no longer had an older sister. I don't even know how it happened.
So, occassionally (and quite often), I think about my sister and wonder how she's doing. I wander onto facebook and the internet and try to find any information I can about her. I search her name to see if I can find a blog, a social network, a picture, anything. Most of the time I have absolutely no luck. But yesterday, I found something.
You see, a big reason why she distanced herself from all of us, was because she changed religions. She went from being a Christian (LDS) to being an Atheist, in what I felt like was overnight. Our conversations turned into arguments about the beliefs of the LDS church, and that was about it. She felt like we had abandoned her because she changed her beliefs. And although, I can't really speak for the rest of my family, I know that I always made it clear that I didn't care what she believed, I just didn't want to be pushed to disbelieve what I have believed and trusted my entire life. She was still my sister, and I loved her no matter what.
So I was searching for anything on my sister and I came across a google link that read "Is it (insert sister's name here)? I don't want to add the wrong person." I clicked and read. The post was from a person who was talking about their facebook account, and how they sometimes write contraversial things about religion to wrile people up. They explained that they lived in Utah County, and all of their facebook friends were devout Mormons and would always get upset about the things he would write. He was asking for people who were less than Mormon to befriend him, or lead him a direction of less than Mormons that he could befriend so that he could have other friends to trash Mormonish with. People commented, and then one person said "Add (insert sister's name here)."
I was devastated. I understand that my sister has chosen a different path than I have. And I understand that things are different. But, how could my sister be associated with such hateful people and hateful talk about something that I love so dearly. I don't understand it, and my heart hurts to think about it.
It's been over a year since my sister last spoke with me. I don't even know if she thinks about me, or wonders about me. And I certainly don't know if she reads my blog, so I may be risking even more by posting this. But I have realized that my blog is a place for my feelings. A place I can express myself, and let out all of my emotions. I just hope that one day, my sister will miss me and wonder about me, so that it may lead her to me again. I miss her.
I have always shared a room with my sisters. I never had my own room until I was about 14 and we moved into a bigger house that allowed the 4 of us left at home to all have our own rooms.
My sisters have always been my best friends. Although, I annoyed my older sister by stealing her clothes and make up, and my younger sister annoyed me by stealing my clothes and make up. We grew closer and closer as we grow older.
When I got old enough to leave the nest, I had to make a big decision between going off to college only an hour and a half from home, or going off to college halfway across the country. My plan had always been to head off to AggieLand and live with my older sister and be best friends with her forever like one, big, happy family. After lots of praying and meditating, I made the decision to ditch my plans, and head off to ice cold Rexburg, ID... right in the middle of Winter.
I'm getting off topic.
During all of that praying and meditating, something happened. Things changed between my sister and I. Her beliefs and feelings about a lot of things changed, and she distanced herself from all of us.
For four years, we slowly grew apart, which turned into no communication at all. I was blocked on facebook, calls and texts were never returned, and all of the sudden, I no longer had an older sister. I don't even know how it happened.
So, occassionally (and quite often), I think about my sister and wonder how she's doing. I wander onto facebook and the internet and try to find any information I can about her. I search her name to see if I can find a blog, a social network, a picture, anything. Most of the time I have absolutely no luck. But yesterday, I found something.
You see, a big reason why she distanced herself from all of us, was because she changed religions. She went from being a Christian (LDS) to being an Atheist, in what I felt like was overnight. Our conversations turned into arguments about the beliefs of the LDS church, and that was about it. She felt like we had abandoned her because she changed her beliefs. And although, I can't really speak for the rest of my family, I know that I always made it clear that I didn't care what she believed, I just didn't want to be pushed to disbelieve what I have believed and trusted my entire life. She was still my sister, and I loved her no matter what.
So I was searching for anything on my sister and I came across a google link that read "Is it (insert sister's name here)? I don't want to add the wrong person." I clicked and read. The post was from a person who was talking about their facebook account, and how they sometimes write contraversial things about religion to wrile people up. They explained that they lived in Utah County, and all of their facebook friends were devout Mormons and would always get upset about the things he would write. He was asking for people who were less than Mormon to befriend him, or lead him a direction of less than Mormons that he could befriend so that he could have other friends to trash Mormonish with. People commented, and then one person said "Add (insert sister's name here)."
I was devastated. I understand that my sister has chosen a different path than I have. And I understand that things are different. But, how could my sister be associated with such hateful people and hateful talk about something that I love so dearly. I don't understand it, and my heart hurts to think about it.
It's been over a year since my sister last spoke with me. I don't even know if she thinks about me, or wonders about me. And I certainly don't know if she reads my blog, so I may be risking even more by posting this. But I have realized that my blog is a place for my feelings. A place I can express myself, and let out all of my emotions. I just hope that one day, my sister will miss me and wonder about me, so that it may lead her to me again. I miss her.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Thank You Sweet Stranger
They always say good things come to those who wait. They also say when one door closes, another door opens.
Today, I am a witness, and a testament of both of those statements.
I knew that me losing my job recently happened for a reason. I didn't know what it was, and I had no idea how or when I was going to find out, but today... I found out.
Let's back track. The day I lost my job, lots of coworkers, friends, and family reached out to help in any way they could. Lots of warm thoughts and kindness, lots of pick-me-ups, and LOTS of job leads.
One coworker recommended a friend who worked at a similar law office up in Salt Lake County. She gave me her number and I contacted her later that night. We texted back and forth several times about the job. I learned that it was essentially exactly what I was doing for the past 3 years. The office was down the street from my house, and the pay started at MORE than what I was making at Myler.
Needless to say, I was excited and hopeful that this would work out. The only problem was that I would be this girl's replacement, and that was contingent upon her getting another job.
We texted almost every day about the status of her job search, pros and cons about the position I was looking for, and other random things. She was a really nice girl, and she made me feel very confident about this job and my ability to do well in it.
A week had gone past and I interviewed for lots of other positions. None of them offered as much pay as I needed, and there was still no news of a new position for my new friend. She continually texted me to keep me updated, but I was getting discouraged. I emailed her my resume and she regularly checked in with me to let me know of any news.
Yesterday, I received a text from her saying that she got the job and that she would be turning in her two weeks notice the next day. She stating that she would hand in my resume when she turned in her two weeks notice and put in a good word.
Today, I received a text from her saying that she turned in my resume, and less than one minute later, a phone call from the office manager asking me to come in for an interview as soon as possible. I was so excited!! I had a few other interviews scheduled, and I needed to pick Jayah up from school, so I carefully planned out my schedule to make sure to do it all and get to each appointment on time.
I made it on time, even a few minutes early, and sat in their conference room waiting to meet with them. I met with the owner of the company and his office manager. It wasn't even an interview. They were so impressed by my resume that they knew they wanted me right away. I met with them for about 45 minutes and we laughed and talked and made plans within the company. The owner had to step out for a little bit, so I continued the "interview" with the office manager and then I was dismissed.
I walked out of the conference room and on my way out the door, the owner yelled to me "You'll be coming back, right?" I told him that I hoped so and walked out to my car. As soon as I sat down in my car, I got the call. I had gotten the job.
I have been BEAMING the last 3 hours because I am so excited about this new opportunity. Losing my job was devasting, heart breaking, and unbelievable to me, but I knew that something good would come out of this. I will now be working at a job that is down the street from our home, I will be making more than what I made after 3 years at the previous company, doing the exact same thing that I am so familiar with. They pay for my health insurance completely, and I start off with 12 days paid time off. Those 4 things, in itself, make this job 10x better than where I was before. I have the opportunity to grow majorly within the company, and so far, I get along great with every person I have met. I cannot express more, how excited I am for this new opportunity.
So I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet coworker for referring me to this awesome opportunity. And I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet, stranger whom I have never met, for caring enough and following through and helping make this position happen. I am so grateful to her for keeping me in mind and helping to provide this wonderful opportunity to me. I can't say that I would have ever done the same for a stranger before this moment.
Today, I am a witness, and a testament of both of those statements.
I knew that me losing my job recently happened for a reason. I didn't know what it was, and I had no idea how or when I was going to find out, but today... I found out.
Let's back track. The day I lost my job, lots of coworkers, friends, and family reached out to help in any way they could. Lots of warm thoughts and kindness, lots of pick-me-ups, and LOTS of job leads.
One coworker recommended a friend who worked at a similar law office up in Salt Lake County. She gave me her number and I contacted her later that night. We texted back and forth several times about the job. I learned that it was essentially exactly what I was doing for the past 3 years. The office was down the street from my house, and the pay started at MORE than what I was making at Myler.
Needless to say, I was excited and hopeful that this would work out. The only problem was that I would be this girl's replacement, and that was contingent upon her getting another job.
We texted almost every day about the status of her job search, pros and cons about the position I was looking for, and other random things. She was a really nice girl, and she made me feel very confident about this job and my ability to do well in it.
A week had gone past and I interviewed for lots of other positions. None of them offered as much pay as I needed, and there was still no news of a new position for my new friend. She continually texted me to keep me updated, but I was getting discouraged. I emailed her my resume and she regularly checked in with me to let me know of any news.
Yesterday, I received a text from her saying that she got the job and that she would be turning in her two weeks notice the next day. She stating that she would hand in my resume when she turned in her two weeks notice and put in a good word.
Today, I received a text from her saying that she turned in my resume, and less than one minute later, a phone call from the office manager asking me to come in for an interview as soon as possible. I was so excited!! I had a few other interviews scheduled, and I needed to pick Jayah up from school, so I carefully planned out my schedule to make sure to do it all and get to each appointment on time.
I made it on time, even a few minutes early, and sat in their conference room waiting to meet with them. I met with the owner of the company and his office manager. It wasn't even an interview. They were so impressed by my resume that they knew they wanted me right away. I met with them for about 45 minutes and we laughed and talked and made plans within the company. The owner had to step out for a little bit, so I continued the "interview" with the office manager and then I was dismissed.
I walked out of the conference room and on my way out the door, the owner yelled to me "You'll be coming back, right?" I told him that I hoped so and walked out to my car. As soon as I sat down in my car, I got the call. I had gotten the job.
I have been BEAMING the last 3 hours because I am so excited about this new opportunity. Losing my job was devasting, heart breaking, and unbelievable to me, but I knew that something good would come out of this. I will now be working at a job that is down the street from our home, I will be making more than what I made after 3 years at the previous company, doing the exact same thing that I am so familiar with. They pay for my health insurance completely, and I start off with 12 days paid time off. Those 4 things, in itself, make this job 10x better than where I was before. I have the opportunity to grow majorly within the company, and so far, I get along great with every person I have met. I cannot express more, how excited I am for this new opportunity.
So I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet coworker for referring me to this awesome opportunity. And I want to say "Thank You" to that one, sweet, stranger whom I have never met, for caring enough and following through and helping make this position happen. I am so grateful to her for keeping me in mind and helping to provide this wonderful opportunity to me. I can't say that I would have ever done the same for a stranger before this moment.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
Music to my Soul
I have always loved to sing. I grew up singing karaoke with my dad from as early as I can remember. I've been in choirs my whole life, church and school. And I just love to sing.
I wouldn't say I'm amazing, but I'm decent. I can hold a tune, I can read music, and I can harmonize, etc..
But one thing that makes me happier than anything is when I hear Jayah softly say to Jaymeson, "I like it when Heather sings. It makes me happy."
I'll sing to you for the rest of our lives, little one. Love you Jayah-Bug.
I wouldn't say I'm amazing, but I'm decent. I can hold a tune, I can read music, and I can harmonize, etc..
But one thing that makes me happier than anything is when I hear Jayah softly say to Jaymeson, "I like it when Heather sings. It makes me happy."
I'll sing to you for the rest of our lives, little one. Love you Jayah-Bug.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Diaries of the Unemployed
So, I lost my job recently. It has been a hard thing and a good thing. Definitely not what I would have imagined.
Hard, because I've had a full time job since I was 15 years old. It's weird for me to not be working every day. I like to work.
Also hard, because both Jaymeson and I need to work to support our family at this point in time. It's been a struggle and a bit of stress wondering if and how we are going to make it.
However, it has been a GOOD thing for a few more reasons.
First, and most importantly... Jaymeson was hit by a car at work last week. If I was working, I wouldn't have been able to answer the phone when I got the call, I wouldn't have been able to be there at the hospital with him, and I wouldn't have been able to stay home with him to take care of him. That has definitely been a blessing.
Second, I have been able to do all sorts of "wifey" things that I wasn't able to do before. For example, cook dinner every night, clean and organize the house, get rid of half of our wardrobe and do all of our laundry. It's such a good feeling being able to be a WIFE. When I was married to my first husband, I went to work full time and to school full time. I was gone from 7:30 AM to about 10:00 PM every night. I was the sole provider for our family and it really wore me down not being able to be a wife to my husband. This time is a little different because I wasn't going to school while working, but I was definitely worn down from the work I was doing, and even the commute every day. I have felt better about myself being able to contribute a lot around the house every day. It makes being home much more enjoyable.
Third, I found myself struggling with depression. I was angry all the time, I was annoyed with people I worked with, I was short with people I worked for, etc. It was bad and it was affecting my home life. Now that I am not working at that job, I have felt HAPPIER. I still have a ways to go in terms of overcoming all of this, but I am far less concerned about the long term outcome of those feelings than I believe I would have been otherwise.
I am a hard worker. That is something that anyone would tell you about me. Although I definitely know that I don't want this whole unemployed thing to last forever, I do feel comforted in the fact that I know it was supposed to happen at this time and that some way, some how, we will be blessed.
Hard, because I've had a full time job since I was 15 years old. It's weird for me to not be working every day. I like to work.
Also hard, because both Jaymeson and I need to work to support our family at this point in time. It's been a struggle and a bit of stress wondering if and how we are going to make it.
However, it has been a GOOD thing for a few more reasons.
First, and most importantly... Jaymeson was hit by a car at work last week. If I was working, I wouldn't have been able to answer the phone when I got the call, I wouldn't have been able to be there at the hospital with him, and I wouldn't have been able to stay home with him to take care of him. That has definitely been a blessing.
Second, I have been able to do all sorts of "wifey" things that I wasn't able to do before. For example, cook dinner every night, clean and organize the house, get rid of half of our wardrobe and do all of our laundry. It's such a good feeling being able to be a WIFE. When I was married to my first husband, I went to work full time and to school full time. I was gone from 7:30 AM to about 10:00 PM every night. I was the sole provider for our family and it really wore me down not being able to be a wife to my husband. This time is a little different because I wasn't going to school while working, but I was definitely worn down from the work I was doing, and even the commute every day. I have felt better about myself being able to contribute a lot around the house every day. It makes being home much more enjoyable.
Third, I found myself struggling with depression. I was angry all the time, I was annoyed with people I worked with, I was short with people I worked for, etc. It was bad and it was affecting my home life. Now that I am not working at that job, I have felt HAPPIER. I still have a ways to go in terms of overcoming all of this, but I am far less concerned about the long term outcome of those feelings than I believe I would have been otherwise.
I am a hard worker. That is something that anyone would tell you about me. Although I definitely know that I don't want this whole unemployed thing to last forever, I do feel comforted in the fact that I know it was supposed to happen at this time and that some way, some how, we will be blessed.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Disposables
Somebody mentioned something the other day, that reminded me of a lesson I learned a long time ago.
Marriage is (not) disposable.
When I was in high school, I remember a conversation with my Bishop where he was talking about the difference between now and 10, 20, 40, 50 years ago.
Twenty-plus years ago, people worked hard for everything they had. If the toaster was broken, they'd fix it. If pants had a hole in them, they'd patch them up. If feelings were hurt, they'd mend them If a marriage was broken... they would work hard to fix it. People rarely took things for granted because they had to work hard to get it. They appreciated everything they had and took care of it.
Today, everything is disposable. People don't work for anything. People take everything for granted. Everyone is constantly looking for "out with the old, in with the new." If the toaster is broken, let's throw it away and buy a new one. If our pants are holey, let's get rid of them and get some more. If our marriage is broken, let's just get divorced. That's easier, right?
Wrong.
I realize that's harsh. I realize that some people aren't like that. But I have little faith in people these days. But there is one thing I have faith in...
I made a vow to myself, to God, to my family, to my husband that I would fight to the death for my marriage. No matter how hard it got, I would fight for it. That's what I did before, snd that's what I intend to do now.
Lucky for me, I found someone who feels the same way.
Marriage is (not) disposable.
When I was in high school, I remember a conversation with my Bishop where he was talking about the difference between now and 10, 20, 40, 50 years ago.
Twenty-plus years ago, people worked hard for everything they had. If the toaster was broken, they'd fix it. If pants had a hole in them, they'd patch them up. If feelings were hurt, they'd mend them If a marriage was broken... they would work hard to fix it. People rarely took things for granted because they had to work hard to get it. They appreciated everything they had and took care of it.
Today, everything is disposable. People don't work for anything. People take everything for granted. Everyone is constantly looking for "out with the old, in with the new." If the toaster is broken, let's throw it away and buy a new one. If our pants are holey, let's get rid of them and get some more. If our marriage is broken, let's just get divorced. That's easier, right?
Wrong.
I realize that's harsh. I realize that some people aren't like that. But I have little faith in people these days. But there is one thing I have faith in...
I made a vow to myself, to God, to my family, to my husband that I would fight to the death for my marriage. No matter how hard it got, I would fight for it. That's what I did before, snd that's what I intend to do now.
Lucky for me, I found someone who feels the same way.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
My Happiness Project.
I have found myself lately being fairly depressed while I am at home and Jaymeson is working late. Life is hard when the only person you want to spend every second with, has to spend most of their seconds somewhere else.
I don't really have any hobbies, all of my friends live everywhere EXCEPT within a 40 mile radius of me, I hate our house (we are moving soon) so there are no projects there, and I'm tired of spending so much time on the couch, watching movies. I want to GET OUT and do something!
Today I was google-ing "Things to do to make you happy" and came across this website...
Click Here
...and decided that for the next little while, I am going to leisurely complete every single one of these tasks, on my own, while Jaymeson is at work. Starting today. And to make it even more difficult, I am going to do them in the order they are listed. I'll keep you updated. :)
Eat that, unhappy Heather!
I don't really have any hobbies, all of my friends live everywhere EXCEPT within a 40 mile radius of me, I hate our house (we are moving soon) so there are no projects there, and I'm tired of spending so much time on the couch, watching movies. I want to GET OUT and do something!
Today I was google-ing "Things to do to make you happy" and came across this website...
Click Here
...and decided that for the next little while, I am going to leisurely complete every single one of these tasks, on my own, while Jaymeson is at work. Starting today. And to make it even more difficult, I am going to do them in the order they are listed. I'll keep you updated. :)
Eat that, unhappy Heather!
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The Day I Became a Wife and a Mother
Hello everyone! You are now looking at the new Mrs. Jaymeson Roush! Woo hoo!
Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.
The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.
I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.
We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha
Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.
Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)
The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.
Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.
Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.
Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.
We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.
Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.
Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)
Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!
For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!
Our wedding day was definitely everything we never imagined. And I mean that literally.
The day before the wedding, my dress got lost at the dry cleaners, the flowers we ordered didn't actual get ordered or delivered, and some... other drama. My dad, my sister and I spent the entire day running errands and putting last minute things together. Jaymeson and his friends went out for a little bachelor party that night, so it was just me, Jayah, my mom, and my sister hanging out and packing for the honeymoon. We finished some last minute honeymoon shopping at about midnight and went back to the hotel for a blessing from my sweet brother and grandfather, and then bed.
I woke up early early the next morning (wedding day) with a stomach ache and back pain. I was able to spend the night at the Hilton Garden Inn with my mom and sister. They had snuck out before I woke up so they could get me breakfast in bed. When they came back, I was already awake and the second I saw them, I immediately cried. My mom laughed because it was kind of ridiculous, and then talked to me for a bit about my nerves and helped me to feel better. She told me that she would never forget that moment. Her daughter, on her wedding day, sitting in bed, watching cartoons, eating breakfast, and crying her eyes out.
We ended up finishing our food, and then rushing out to go take care of some last minute errands. Including getting my ring cleaned, buying a special surprise to give to Jayah at our ring ceremony, and picking up AND delivering the flowers that were supposed to be delivered the day before. I was supposed to meet with my good friend Cassie (also my hair and make up artist) at the hotel at 11, but I was of course, late. I got there shortly after and was surprised that she brought my long lost best friend, Stephanie, with her! She ran to gave me a hug, and I cried again. I couldn't help it, I was nervous, and stressed, and anxious! haha
Cassie and Stephanie helped make me and Miss Jayah beautiful for our big day, and then we rushed over to the temple.
Our sealing in the Jordan River Temple was set for 2:00 PM. Jaymeson, true to his colors, was 45 minutes late. (We were supposed to be there at 1 to work out paperwork, etc, and 1:45 comes around and along strolls in my handsome almost-husband.)
The sealing, however, was the best part of the whole day. We walked into a room full of family and friends and people who supported us. I was shocked. I looked around the room and literally cried because of all the love and support I felt in the room. (Ok, I practically cried the whole week, but really this was an emotional moment for me.) I sat down next to my sweetheart (who was nervous as heck) and listened to the sealer share some beautiful words. And then we got married! It was amazing. Jaymeson and I looked into each other's eyes the whole time and all of my fears washed away. I knew that he was the man I was going to spend eternity with, and I couldn't have been any happier.
Afterwards, we were greeted by so many loved ones outside the temple. We took a few pictures and dismissed everyone so we could take pictures of our brand new, official, family.
Afterwards, we left for our ring ceremony and reception. The ring ceremony ran late, but it was short and sweet. Jayah played the part of flower girl perfectly, and my dad walked me down the aisle. Jaymeson's brother Blake "officiated" and it was pretty cute. We exchanged rings, and gave Jayah a gift for her to remember our special day. Then we had the reception.
Practically nothing went the way that we planned, and after about two weeks of being emotional and thinking about it constantly, I have decided that it doesn't matter and it's not worth my time to talk to about it. The place was beautiful, the pictures are beautiful, and we are finally married. And that's all that matters.
We left for the night and headed home, woke up early in the morning and headed off for our honeymoon. Honeymoon was awesome, but I'll save that for another post.
Being married to Mr. Jaymeson Roush has been, so far, the best 3 weeks of my life. Jaymeson and I didn't have the easiest dating life, we have had to deal with and overcome practically every challenge in the book. Being a new mom to Jayah is also pretty amazing. I have been a major part of her and her dad's life since she was 2, so we are pretty used to each other, but I love being able to say that she is my daughter. She makes it easier than I ever would have thought this would be. Although it's only been 3 weeks, I know, without a doubt, that Jaymeson and I are supposed to be together, and Jayah is supposed to be part of our little family. Being married to him is definitely different and a thousand times better than being married to... well, you know. And our family is a solid one. I can't wait for the years to come, watching Jayah grow, and adding new additions to our perfect family.
Several years ago (and by several, I mean like 10), one of my most favorite people in the world mentioned to me that every time she sees her husband, she thinks to herself "Wow, that man is good looking." I don't know why that stood out to me so much, but it was something I always thought to myself would be cool to have, but probably wouldn't happen to me. But it did! Every time I see Jaymeson, I smile to myself and say "Wow, that man is good looking." :)
Shout out to Dave Neeley Photography. It is because of him that I no longer worry about the bad things that happened at the wedding. Him and his lovely wife, Cassie, took a very frustrating day and gave us beautiful pictures to look back on. I couldn't be happier with our choice of photographer and can't wait to see the rest!
For a sweet little sneak peak of the reception, click here!!
Saturday, July 21, 2012
7/21/12
Today I got to be there to experience Jaymeson go through the temple for the first time. Oh my goodness, it was beautiful and perfect and better than I could have imagined! Normally the man gets to see the women go through the first time, but in our unique situation, I was blessed to be worthy to be there with him when he made such an important step in his eternal life. And I cried like a baby. (I blame the birth control.)
I'm going to admit that I was a little bit nervous. I was unsure of what he would think, or how he would feel. But he was a complete natural! I feel like I have been waiting for this moment forever, but I think I forgot that Jaymeson has been waiting even longer. He has completely turned his life around and prepared for this moment, coming up on 3 years.
I'm so proud of my Jaymeson for taking initiative of his own life and making the choice to get sealed in the temple some day. Today he made sacred covenants that many doubted he ever would. One week from today he and I will be starting our eternal family, and although I know so many doubted us and fought hard to break us apart, I could not be happier to be spending the rest of eternity with such a wonderful man. He has helped me become someone to be proud of and I couldn't have asked for a more loving person to share my life with.
Congratulations Jaymeson, you are an incredible example to your family and friends. I love you!
7 more days...
I'm going to admit that I was a little bit nervous. I was unsure of what he would think, or how he would feel. But he was a complete natural! I feel like I have been waiting for this moment forever, but I think I forgot that Jaymeson has been waiting even longer. He has completely turned his life around and prepared for this moment, coming up on 3 years.
I'm so proud of my Jaymeson for taking initiative of his own life and making the choice to get sealed in the temple some day. Today he made sacred covenants that many doubted he ever would. One week from today he and I will be starting our eternal family, and although I know so many doubted us and fought hard to break us apart, I could not be happier to be spending the rest of eternity with such a wonderful man. He has helped me become someone to be proud of and I couldn't have asked for a more loving person to share my life with.
Congratulations Jaymeson, you are an incredible example to your family and friends. I love you!
7 more days...
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
A friend of a friend...
I realized something rather interesting at my Bridal Shower this past weekend.
There was a variety of people there, most that didn't know each other. As friends were introducing themselves to one another, the subject of how they knew me came up. Probably close to half of those girls there knew me as a result of my ex husband.
There was an old coworker of his.
An old friend of his sister's.
One or two good friends who took me in during my separation.
His old mission companion's wife.
His best friend's brother's wife.
A roommate from just after my divorce.
The bridal shower even unknowingly took place in a home that I spent the summer of my separation learning to sew in.
Heck, I only know my fiance because of him!
As I heard the laughter of everyone's crazy story on how they know me, someone mentioned to me about how I must have gotten the friends in the divorce. As funny as that is, I think it is true! Mostly I don't talk to anyone I knew from when I was married, but those that I do are mostly mutual friends of ours that have stayed close to me and have supported me in my efforts to restore my life.
I am so grateful for the love and support that so many people have shown me going through my divorce up until finding the man of my dreams and marrying him for eternity. I know I couldn't have done it without so many of them, and I am so grateful that God has blessed me with some beautiful people to share my experiences with.
Guess I definitely got the better end of the deal.
There was a variety of people there, most that didn't know each other. As friends were introducing themselves to one another, the subject of how they knew me came up. Probably close to half of those girls there knew me as a result of my ex husband.
There was an old coworker of his.
An old friend of his sister's.
One or two good friends who took me in during my separation.
His old mission companion's wife.
His best friend's brother's wife.
A roommate from just after my divorce.
The bridal shower even unknowingly took place in a home that I spent the summer of my separation learning to sew in.
Heck, I only know my fiance because of him!
As I heard the laughter of everyone's crazy story on how they know me, someone mentioned to me about how I must have gotten the friends in the divorce. As funny as that is, I think it is true! Mostly I don't talk to anyone I knew from when I was married, but those that I do are mostly mutual friends of ours that have stayed close to me and have supported me in my efforts to restore my life.
I am so grateful for the love and support that so many people have shown me going through my divorce up until finding the man of my dreams and marrying him for eternity. I know I couldn't have done it without so many of them, and I am so grateful that God has blessed me with some beautiful people to share my experiences with.
Guess I definitely got the better end of the deal.
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Jayah's Example
Jayah and I went to my bridal shower yesterday and I promised Jayah that if she was good, she could pick what we did after the shower. Well, she was good, so she got to pick, and she picked... shopping.
She's four, and she picked shopping. Specifically for makeup and nail polish and "hot heels". We are in for some interesting teenage years.
So we went to Old Navy to shop. I'm a bargain shopper, I almost never even look at anything besides the sale racks. So I found this cute little pink romper for $7.00, and some cute matching flip flops for $1.00 that I was so excited about. So I bought them. Next, Jayah just HAD to go to the mall. So we drove down the block to the mall. I was so excited about the outfit that I wanted to change her into it before we went into the mall. You can tell by the look on her face in the picture below just how much she loved it. But it's the reason that she "loved" it that surprised me.
I put it on her and was gushing about how cute she was in it and how her daddy was going to love it, and she started crying! I was so surprised because she loves wearing pink, and she is usually the easiest little girl, but she was crying! I asked her what was wrong, and her response was "I don't want to wear something without sleeves."
Holy moly, did I feel like a terrible parent. My little four year old was being the example to ME.
Modesty was never an issue to me because my mom pretty much never gave me any other option. I had a really good group of friends with the same standards as me growing up, and it was just never a question that I was going to be modest. After high school I went to the temple very quickly and have been wearing my "g's" since, so it has never really been an option since either.
Now I've been put in this unique situation where I buy a child clothing on a regular basis. I've been buying her clothing for close to a year and a half, but this specific situation has never come up. Ironically, the lesson in primary last week was on modesty. And Jayah wasn't even with us last Sunday!
Needless to say, I am truly impressed, and so proud of Miss Jayah for knowing the difference between modest and immodest, and being strong enough to tell me so. I hope that she will always remember that feeling, and strive her whole life to continue to be an example to others.
She's four, and she picked shopping. Specifically for makeup and nail polish and "hot heels". We are in for some interesting teenage years.
So we went to Old Navy to shop. I'm a bargain shopper, I almost never even look at anything besides the sale racks. So I found this cute little pink romper for $7.00, and some cute matching flip flops for $1.00 that I was so excited about. So I bought them. Next, Jayah just HAD to go to the mall. So we drove down the block to the mall. I was so excited about the outfit that I wanted to change her into it before we went into the mall. You can tell by the look on her face in the picture below just how much she loved it. But it's the reason that she "loved" it that surprised me.
I put it on her and was gushing about how cute she was in it and how her daddy was going to love it, and she started crying! I was so surprised because she loves wearing pink, and she is usually the easiest little girl, but she was crying! I asked her what was wrong, and her response was "I don't want to wear something without sleeves."
Holy moly, did I feel like a terrible parent. My little four year old was being the example to ME.
Modesty was never an issue to me because my mom pretty much never gave me any other option. I had a really good group of friends with the same standards as me growing up, and it was just never a question that I was going to be modest. After high school I went to the temple very quickly and have been wearing my "g's" since, so it has never really been an option since either.
Now I've been put in this unique situation where I buy a child clothing on a regular basis. I've been buying her clothing for close to a year and a half, but this specific situation has never come up. Ironically, the lesson in primary last week was on modesty. And Jayah wasn't even with us last Sunday!
Needless to say, I am truly impressed, and so proud of Miss Jayah for knowing the difference between modest and immodest, and being strong enough to tell me so. I hope that she will always remember that feeling, and strive her whole life to continue to be an example to others.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
One life to live.
I'm a big time Greys Anatomy buff. I love it, and I look forward to it every week. The season finale ended a few weeks ago, and I have practically been lost every Thursday night, not knowing what to do with myself.
While watching Grey's Anatomy several weeks ago, I practically re-lived a very real feeling, that I felt over 2 years ago.
To sum it up: Christina and Owen are married. They start to have issues, things go bad, and then he cheats on her. She knows it (but not literally), and confronts him about it. He admits to it. She is hysterical and locks herself in the bathroom.
I'm almost positive, that was my exact reaction when my husband cheated on me. Bathroom and all.
I am not a crier. But while watching that scene, I got really emotional. I literally felt how it felt to love someone so much, and have a serious commitment to them, and then find out something that heartbreaking. It was a small and short depressing moment for me.
And then, I looked to my right, and there was my sweet, sweet Jaymeson. Who was probably feeling similar feelings, as the very same thing happened to him at the very same time that it happened to me.
I looked to my right, and I felt love. Real love. We have been together for close to a year and a half, and it was like butterflies all over again. I laid my head on his shoulder, and I felt safe. I knew that as long I was with my Jaymeson, I would never have to feel that dreadful feeling ever again. And I am so grateful for that security.
I am so grateful to Jaymeson for loving me like he does. For dealing with all of my crazy insecurities, and proving to me time and time again that he will love me unconditionally for eternity. I know that everything in my life has led to me him, and I couldn't have asked for a better someone to share the rest of my life with.
While watching Grey's Anatomy several weeks ago, I practically re-lived a very real feeling, that I felt over 2 years ago.
To sum it up: Christina and Owen are married. They start to have issues, things go bad, and then he cheats on her. She knows it (but not literally), and confronts him about it. He admits to it. She is hysterical and locks herself in the bathroom.
I'm almost positive, that was my exact reaction when my husband cheated on me. Bathroom and all.
I am not a crier. But while watching that scene, I got really emotional. I literally felt how it felt to love someone so much, and have a serious commitment to them, and then find out something that heartbreaking. It was a small and short depressing moment for me.
And then, I looked to my right, and there was my sweet, sweet Jaymeson. Who was probably feeling similar feelings, as the very same thing happened to him at the very same time that it happened to me.
I looked to my right, and I felt love. Real love. We have been together for close to a year and a half, and it was like butterflies all over again. I laid my head on his shoulder, and I felt safe. I knew that as long I was with my Jaymeson, I would never have to feel that dreadful feeling ever again. And I am so grateful for that security.
I am so grateful to Jaymeson for loving me like he does. For dealing with all of my crazy insecurities, and proving to me time and time again that he will love me unconditionally for eternity. I know that everything in my life has led to me him, and I couldn't have asked for a better someone to share the rest of my life with.
37 more days!!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Sneaky child.
Jayah is at an age where she is learning to be very sneaky. I definitely know where it comes from, but it's still hilarious to watch. She has almost mastered the art of manipulation, and thinks she has the art of Mom vs. Dad down to a T. It's been rather interesting watching her make up stories on the spot to make things more interesting. We always know that she's doing something she shouldn't be when she gets really quiet, or when she yells from her room "Heather, I'm just playing, ok?" It's even gotten to the point where we have to watch her go to the bathroom, otherwise she'll go in there, flush, "wash her hands", and pretend like she went to the bathroom, when she really didn't. I even walked in on her one time turning on the sink just a little bit, so it would sound like she was peeing. Smart, smart girl.
This past Saturday, she was with Jaymeson for the weekend. Instead of going to their house like I do early every morning, I instead went to AF to spend some girly time with some of my favorite women. I was gone for probably like 6-7 hours, having girl talk, and good food. But I was definitely excited to get to Jaymeson's to see their cute little faces.
I walked in the door, and there was nothing. Silence. No sound whatsoever. I walked into the open space of his apartment and stood there. Waiting for something to happen. Very slowly, Jayah comes creeping out of her room very quietly. She peeked around the corner, walked slowly up to me, gave me the biggest, sweetest grin, and then hugged me so tight, and told me she missed me "sooooooo much". My first thought was "Wow, what a nice little homecoming!" Then I thought, "She sure is awfully sweet right now..." But I forgot those thoughts and just embraced her hugs and kisses and "I missed you's". Jayah is always excited to see me, but this time was a little different. I was taking it all in, loving every second of it, and then Jaymeson comes out of her room. He stood there in front of me with an angry, annoyed look on his face. Then I noticed what was in his hands. All of Jayah's princess shoes, completely covered in nail polish.
Uh oh.
It suddenly all made sense. Jayah was definitely happy to see me, but she was more so being ever-so-sweet in the hopes that I would rescue her from the wrath of Dad. Unlucky for her, but lucky for me and Dad, we are very much on the same page with everything parenting. We always support each other when it comes to Jayah, with no questions asked.
So, Jaymeson and I sat down with Jayah, talked to her about what she had done, and helped her clean up her mess... which happened to expand to the carpet, her guitar, the turtle tank, etc...
Needless to say, I love being an automatic parent to a 4 year old. :)
This past Saturday, she was with Jaymeson for the weekend. Instead of going to their house like I do early every morning, I instead went to AF to spend some girly time with some of my favorite women. I was gone for probably like 6-7 hours, having girl talk, and good food. But I was definitely excited to get to Jaymeson's to see their cute little faces.
I walked in the door, and there was nothing. Silence. No sound whatsoever. I walked into the open space of his apartment and stood there. Waiting for something to happen. Very slowly, Jayah comes creeping out of her room very quietly. She peeked around the corner, walked slowly up to me, gave me the biggest, sweetest grin, and then hugged me so tight, and told me she missed me "sooooooo much". My first thought was "Wow, what a nice little homecoming!" Then I thought, "She sure is awfully sweet right now..." But I forgot those thoughts and just embraced her hugs and kisses and "I missed you's". Jayah is always excited to see me, but this time was a little different. I was taking it all in, loving every second of it, and then Jaymeson comes out of her room. He stood there in front of me with an angry, annoyed look on his face. Then I noticed what was in his hands. All of Jayah's princess shoes, completely covered in nail polish.
Uh oh.
It suddenly all made sense. Jayah was definitely happy to see me, but she was more so being ever-so-sweet in the hopes that I would rescue her from the wrath of Dad. Unlucky for her, but lucky for me and Dad, we are very much on the same page with everything parenting. We always support each other when it comes to Jayah, with no questions asked.
So, Jaymeson and I sat down with Jayah, talked to her about what she had done, and helped her clean up her mess... which happened to expand to the carpet, her guitar, the turtle tank, etc...
Needless to say, I love being an automatic parent to a 4 year old. :)
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Thank you Jayah.
Although technically I am not a mother, I will always consider this year as my very first Mother's Day.
Thank you Jayah for allowing me to be your "second mom".
Thank you Jayah for your sweet hands that help to cook dinner.
Thank you Jayah for being so loving.
Thank you Jayah for your sweet heart that opens up to me.
Thank you Jayah for your sweet smile that warms my heart every time I see you.
Thank you Jayah for your eyes, so full of wonder and kindness.
Thank you Jayah for your loving ways.
Thank you Jayah for your laughter.
Thank you Jayah for your sense of direction.
Thank you Jayah for your voice that brings peace to my soul with every word.
Thank you Jayah for bringing joy to my life.
Thank you Jayah for lighting up the room when you walk in.
Thank you Jayah for your sweet kisses, especially in times of need.
Thank you for your sillyness, and helping me to remember my sillyness.
Thank you Jayah for your free spirit and the way you help me to see life differently.
Thank you Jayah for allowing your daddy to love me as much as he does.
Thank you Jayah for wanting me to be there with you every step of the way.
Thank you Jayah for taking such a difficult situation, and making it easier than I could ever have imagined.
Thank you Jayah for being exactly who you are.
I'm so grateful to have this angel as a part of me for eternity.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Why I hate Hollywood
Sometimes I get really frustrated with the ridiculousness of Hollywood.
I was driving to work the other day, listening to early morning news on the radio. The broadcast went like this:
A large scale earthquake hit Mexico last night. Lots of damage, but so far no fatalities. A missionary was hit by a bus. His family says they are hopeful of full recovery. And on to bigger news, Jersey Shore star in rehab, etc...
Really? Really?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a fan of entertainment. My tiny family and I spend a lot of time being entertained by movies, television, music, and other acts of Hollywood stars. And I do admit, I appreciate real actors, actresses, and singers. You know, the ones who really do have talent and don't thrive on publicity and drama. But seriously? Who the heck is Snooki, and why the heck would I care that she's pregnant?
I am a newbie to twitter, so most of the people I follow are "celebrities." And it's been kind of laughable to watch all these reality tv stars act as though they really are some sort of celebrity. Wait. You went on TV, made a complete full out of yourself, now everybody knows your name, and you think you are entitled to... anything? Wrong. Actually, I'M wrong. They are entitled to things. A lot more things that I am entitled to. And for what? For literally making a full of themselves on national TV. Congratulations.
I also think it's laughable to watch people on twitter literally BEG for a celebrity to "retweet" them or follow them. Pathetic.
I've decided that all it takes to be famous is to put a video of yourself doing something completely retarded on youtube. Give it a few weeks, and you're national news!
Let me just go get started on that...
I was driving to work the other day, listening to early morning news on the radio. The broadcast went like this:
A large scale earthquake hit Mexico last night. Lots of damage, but so far no fatalities. A missionary was hit by a bus. His family says they are hopeful of full recovery. And on to bigger news, Jersey Shore star in rehab, etc...
Really? Really?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a fan of entertainment. My tiny family and I spend a lot of time being entertained by movies, television, music, and other acts of Hollywood stars. And I do admit, I appreciate real actors, actresses, and singers. You know, the ones who really do have talent and don't thrive on publicity and drama. But seriously? Who the heck is Snooki, and why the heck would I care that she's pregnant?
I am a newbie to twitter, so most of the people I follow are "celebrities." And it's been kind of laughable to watch all these reality tv stars act as though they really are some sort of celebrity. Wait. You went on TV, made a complete full out of yourself, now everybody knows your name, and you think you are entitled to... anything? Wrong. Actually, I'M wrong. They are entitled to things. A lot more things that I am entitled to. And for what? For literally making a full of themselves on national TV. Congratulations.
I also think it's laughable to watch people on twitter literally BEG for a celebrity to "retweet" them or follow them. Pathetic.
I've decided that all it takes to be famous is to put a video of yourself doing something completely retarded on youtube. Give it a few weeks, and you're national news!
Let me just go get started on that...
Sunday, April 15, 2012
The Power of Three
Every once in a while, life gives me a sweet reminder as to why I should be grateful for where I am at this exact moment in time.
This week I was given three.
Three bitter-sweet reminders that about this time three years ago, I made the (best) mistake of my life. And that best mistake has literally become the best thing that ever happened to me.
Thank God it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to. (And I do every single day...)
I don't know what I am doing, but it must be something right. I am incredibly blessed.
"It was a pretty difficult journey to where I am today, but it made me the person I am, and for that I am grateful." - Unknown
This week I was given three.
Three bitter-sweet reminders that about this time three years ago, I made the (best) mistake of my life. And that best mistake has literally become the best thing that ever happened to me.
Thank God it didn't turn out the way that I wanted it to. (And I do every single day...)
I don't know what I am doing, but it must be something right. I am incredibly blessed.
"It was a pretty difficult journey to where I am today, but it made me the person I am, and for that I am grateful." - Unknown
Monday, February 27, 2012
Ba-da-bop-bop-ba...
Jaymeson, Jayah, and I had sort of an incident recently at McDonalds.
Here's how it went down:
Jaymeson has just moved into his brand new apartment. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, in his kitchen. So before church, we took Jayah to McDonalds for breakfast. We ordered our food, and then Jayah and I went to the bathroom. We did our thing, and on the way out I stopped and said "On hold Jayah, I need to wash my hands." Half a second later, she screams and the door bursts open. I rush around the corner and see blood everywhere, and the tip of her finger is literally hanging off.
Meanwhile, everyone around was freaking out. And one genius McDonalds worker was considerate enough to ask if we needed a bandaid. No thanks, I think we'll go to the hospital.
Jaymeson quickly searched for the nearest hospital while I talked to Jayah and tried to keep her calm. The funny thing is, she was much more concerned about my shirt and whether or not I liked it, then anything that was going on with her hand.
We went to the closest medical facility around the corner and they informed us that they couldn't help. They did however give Jaymeson some gauze and tape and allowed him to wrap Jayah's hand to stop the bleeding. We then went to the Hospital a few exits down, which also happened to be the hospital where Miss Jayah first entered the world three weeks shy of four years ago.
First, that weekend, the topic of most of Jayah's conversations was blood and death. She asked us all day long, if the laundry basket was dead, or if the tv was dead, or if her hair was dead (which, by the way, it is), etc. She even told me herself that as long as something had blood in it, it's alive. Weird.
Second, as Jayah and I were headed to the bathroom on that fateful day, Jaymeson imagined something crazy happening. He said he turned around and saw the man who happened to be the one to push the bathroom door open to free Jayah's hand. He imagined that as we were leaving the bathroom, that man was going to knock jayah out and run off with me. He was in the process of imagining how we would have reacted when he heard jayah cry and me yelling for him. Even weirder, right?
Turns out, Jayah and her poor little finger are going to be fine. She lost the tip of it. They had to shorten it just a little bit, but the doctor said her nail would grow back and it could definitely look mostly normal in time. She was such a big girl! I think we were all proud of how strong and brave she was from the very beginning.
For the first couple of days, I received phone calls from some of Jayah's family members, and some of my friends asking how I was doing. For a while I was unsure of why anyone would ask how I was doing, since I didn't lose a finger... but I slowly started to understand when I started having my own little series of nightmares about McDonalds. I think the blood all over my shirt, and the initial sight of it all really got to me. I think about the situation all the time, and every single time I see a McDonalds, I have a small panic attack. I've sworn to myself that I will never step foot in a McDonalds again.
(Side note: Jaymeson and I went back to the very same McDonalds to play out the situation again. There was still blood on the floor and on the bathroom door. 11 hours later... and they had not yet cleaned up the blood. We took pictures of the mess and also videos of the door closing, you know, for future reference. Sad thing is, Jayah probably didn't have a chance. That door was heavy, and although against their regulations, it didn't have a stop on the door to slow it down. Lucky for them, they agreed to pay her medical bills without a fight.)
One sweet friend at work noticed that I was having a hard time and talked to me about it. She told me that she sincerely believes that everything happens for a reason, and that maybe we can't even imagine a reason for it now, but there is one.
I thought about that for a long time. (Very unproductive day at work.) I've come to the conclusion that she's right. This did happen for a reason. Whether it be a small reminder to Jayah that we all have our imperfections and she's still beautiful and perfect to those that matter even without the tip of her finger, or that maybe one or both of us may have one day suffered from obesity as a result of McDonalds. But it did happen, and for a reason. Only time will tell.
I'm grateful to that friend for so sweetly reminding me that accidents happen and that God is in charge. How grateful I am to know and understand the Gospel.
Moral of the story: Don't let your kids out of your sight in any public restroom.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Meet the Parents, Part 1
It started on a cold and dreary Wednesday afternoon in Draper, UT. We (I) spent a few hours packing and preparing snacks and lunches for the long 24 hour trek to Houston, TX, while Jaymeson spent a few hours primping, (yes, primping) so he'd look good when he pumped the gas every couple of hours.
After the preparation was complete, we got onto I-15, and started driving south. Twenty-Five minutes into the drive, we missed our exit. Made a short detour, and got on our way.
Okay okay, I won't be that ridiculous about it. :)
Jaymeson and I had seven goals to accomplish on this trip to Texas. One: Eat real Mexican Food. Two: Eat real BBQ. Three: Eat Blue Bell Ice Cream. Four: Wrestle with an alligator. Five: Not get any tickets. Six: See dolphins. And Seven: Spend time on an island.
The drive wasn't too bad. Jaymeson was determined to stay awake the entire time. I drove most of the way there, and he drove most of the way back. We didn't have bad weather either way, which was nice. On the way there, I took Jaymeson on a surprise detour to the Dallas Cowboys Stadium! He was so excited. Jaymeson is the biggest Dallas Cowboys fan you will ever meet. We did a tour around the stadium, and bought a few souveniers, and had a good time making lifelong memories.
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| Jaymeson's now 2nd favorite Cowboys hat. (I bought him the 1st at the stadium.) |
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| Here is Jaymeson, just working, at the Cowboys Stadium. |
After our Dallas detour, we went on to Aggieland! College Station, TX, home of Texas A&M University. Four out of Six of my siblings, plus three spouses, one niece, and one set of grandparents live there. My mom, my littlest brother, and one of my uncles happened to be visiting at the same time as well. We spent the night hanging out with my family, telling embarrassing stories, and being competitive with one another. It was fun! Jaymeson really enjoyed hanging out with my family. Goal number one was accomplished here. (As well as a few other times on this trip...) We went out to dinner with the fam. to Pappasitos! My favorite Mexican restaurant.
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| Welcome to Aggieland! |
The next day was Friday, and also my birthday! My brother and sister in law made a really nice breakfast for me and Jaymeson and we spent the morning with them. Then we went off to have lunch with my mom and my grandpa, where we accomplished goal number two! (and also goal number three) My grandpa took us to his favorite cute little BBQ place. Jaymeson was shocked at how good the BBQ was there, and he has been craving it ever since. We also had Blue Bell vanilla ice cream, which is my favorite, and the best ice cream in the world. It is only available in Utah at Carabbas and Outback Steakhouse, where you can order a 1/2 gallon for $50. ...right. Then my grandpa took us on a tour of the Texas A&M campus and stadium. Jaymeson learned a lot about the Texas A&M traditions and I think he fell just as in love with the school as I am. Maybe someday I'll get to go there. :) Then we headed off to Houston, (Just an hour and a half away) where my dad, one of my little brothers, and my little sister were. (Shannon was also in College Station, she just loves me so much that she followed me to Kingwood :) ) We spent the evening with my dad, going through old pictures and telling stories, and checking out some fun Christmas lights around the city. And then my dad took us to see the new Sherlock Holmes. We went pretty late... and I warned them I would fall asleep, but they didn't believe me. Needless to say, I'll need to see that movie again.
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| Heaven on Earth |
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| Us at the A&M Stadium |
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| Us at the famous "Santa's Village" in Kingwood |
The next morning, we ate breakfast and headed off to Galveston. Which happens to be the place where I was born, and also an island! Check off number six and seven off our list. We walked along the shoreline, toured the city, and then I ate my first real seafood at Joe's Crab Shack on the seawall. It wasn't as bad as I thought either. There is just something about eating food that still looks like its alive that just gets to me. Afterwards, we toured more of the city, including the ship that I was named after (The Elissa), and took a few rides on the ferry. We rode it a few times looking for dolphins, and just as I was getting discouraged about finding some, Jaymeson goes "Watch, right before we get there, we'll see some..." And right as he said that, there they were! Swimming next to the ferry. It was so fun. Jaymeson was so excited to see dolphins, it was so cute! That night was New Years Eve, so we drove down Moody Gardens to see the Festival of Lights. We also toured the "Rainforest Pyramid" and watched a 4D movie. :) It was fun! Then we went up to the Kemah Boardwalk for a firework show. I had never been to the Boardwalk before, so it was kind of fun. Carnivals, and restaurants, and shopping. It was a pretty foggy, and humid night so the fireworks weren't that great, but it was fun to see the reflections of the fireworks on the Gulf.
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| On the beach |
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| On the ferry |
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| Crab Legs |
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| "Gotta go eat at Joes" |
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| Us at the "Elissa" |
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| Me and my Dad at Moody Gardens |
Next day, Jaymeson and I decided to see if we could accomplish our fourth goal: to wrestle with an alligator. We headed off to Lake Houston and scoped the area. Kingwood is a cool little community. It's nicknamed the "Livable Forest" because it is just that... a livable forest. Trees everywhere! There are also fun trails throughout the city called "green belts". We walked along the shore down the side of the greenbelts, and searched for alligator eyes. We saw some snakes, and a bunch of turtles out on the logs, but no alligators. As we were walking along side of the shore, Jaymeson saw "little teeny feet", as he likes to say, swimming underneath the leaves, he reached in and pulled out a BABY turtle. Seriously, it was TINY! It could fit into the palm of a brand new babies hand. He was so excited about it, that we decided to take it home to surprise Jayah. We headed off to a pet store (where we did see baby alligators) and got the right supplies so this little turtle could survive the trip home. That night, we spent time with my dad, visited the Houston Temple, had more real Mexican food, and watched the Dallas game. We headed off late that night, back to Utah.
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| See that teeny green circle in the middle? That's Rafael. :) |
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| Me and my Dad at the Houston, TX LDS Temple |
Overall, it was a short and simple trip. It was good to see my family, and good for my family to finally meet Jaymeson. Everyone got along really well, and Jaymeson was sad to leave. He even talked in a Texas accent the whole way home. :) We're both excited to go back again sometime this Summer, and bring Jayah with us. Every time I see her, she asks me if it's time to go to Texas yet. Haha!
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| Here's Jayah, very excited about her turtle! :) |
The bad news is, we failed to accomplish goal número cinco: to not get any tickets. Monticello police snuck up on us just after getting gas, and we got a ticket, just a few short hours from home.
Dang.
Dang.
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