Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

There are a few things I can think of.

One.

Cooking. I just wish I could cook. I could make my own meals, not have to go out for lunch at work, save lots of money, have parties. Ah, it would be amazing. My mom is an awesome cook. And my sisters are pretty good too. How did I miss that?!

Two.

Working out. I wish I had the desire to get up off my butt and get to the gym, for anything other than tanning. My roommates, and my boyfriend, are all really good at going to the gym. I should follow in their example. But then there's the whole idea of what the heck do I even do at the gym? Ugh.

Three.

Public Speaking.

I do not like the lime light. I admire people who can just stand up in the center of a crowd and say whatever they want without feeling and/or looking like an idiot. I guess that's why I love to write?

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 21 - A picture of something you wish you could forget

I have nothing to say here. If there ever was something I wished I could forget, I probably forgot it.

Maybe this memory loss thing isn't such a bad thing....?

On another note, I miss my boyfriend. And I hate his job.

Up next: Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at. Oooh the possibilities.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

New York City

 

Please and Thank You.

nineteen

It's been an interesting, emotional, and hard couple of days. I don't really know how to describe all that has been running through my head.

Today is the two year anniversary of the best mistake I've ever made in my life.

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of a the most life changing experience in my life.

And tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the beginning of a new life.

To be little more specific, today would be mine and Jon's two year anniversary. I say "best mistake" because it really was, just that. It was a mistake. It should never have happened. I knew it, and I think he knew it too. But it did happen. And I am grateful for all that has happened in my life since him. I'm a better person than I ever have been, and I probably wouldn't have gotten there without all the heartache. So for that, I thank him (Hence the "best").

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of the day I went through the temple to receive my own endowments. It was also Easter Sunday and I had the opportunity to speak in church on the Atonement. It was a good reminder, along with the Easter holiday, of the infinite blessings I can receive because of the Atonement. Being able to repent on a weekly basis, and attend the temple, right here in Provo, UT, at any time that I am able, to do work for those who are unable to do it for themselves, is a huge blessing in itself. But also that I am able to be mortal, and to sin, and make mistakes, but be allowed to repent of my sins so that I am worthy to enter the House of the Lord, and to be healed is an even greater blessing. I am forever grateful to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ for that.

Tomorrow, it has been one year since Jon walked out of my life. We separated and started our own individual lives one year ago from tomorrow. One year ago from tomorrow began the hardest summer I hope I'll ever have to go through. And it was hard. I spent the summer living alone, literally alone, in a house all by myself. I worked and went home, worked and went home, worked and went home. That was my life. I spent over three months pondering my life and figuring out what I wanted to do next. I think I found myself that summer. I developed new friendships, and talents. I learned to sew. I became comfortable being alone. It was a hard, but very rewarding time in my life.

I guess I could take this opportunity to do Day 19 - A Picture and a Letter.

October 2008

Dear Jonathan,

It's been almost three years since Kristi confused me with our roommate Rachel in that random parking lot in downtown Salt Lake City. Almost three years since you made weekly trips up to Rexburg to "visit your sister", but really to hit on her hot roommate. Almost three years since you took that trip to Houston and came out of your writers block and came up with a new song for one special girl. Almost three years from the most perfect first kiss, and the beginning of a fun and exciting new friendship which developed into a relationship. Three years. Man, it seems so long ago.

We experienced a lot together... from the infamous life of summer sales, to hunting, kayaking, life in Provo, UT and various places in Texas, and so much more. I loved learning so many things from you and your family. I loved getting to know your little sisters. And I loved all of the little adventures that we went on.

Even though things didn't work out for us, I know that everything happened for a reason, and I don't regret a second of it. Ok, that's not entirely true, but I don't regret most of it. We learned a lot from each other, and most importantly we grew a lot because of each other. It may not have turned out the way we wanted it to or even expected it to, but it turned out for the best.. don't you think? We taught each other what real love should be like, and for that I am forever grateful. I know because of our experiences together that we will each find the most perfect person for us and that we will be happy for eternity.

I know that sometimes it's still hard, but that eventually we will both be able to look back on every aspect of everything that happened, and not feel a thing. I wish you the best Jonathan, and I hope you remember your true potential and that you strive every day to become a better man for your future most perfect wife and children. 

With Love,
Heather

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity

Ugh. Can I just skip this one, please?

There are several directions I could go for this one, 

but without getting too deep 

and wayyy too personal, I think I'll go with my butt. 

photo by: Raven Marie Moesser

This is a photo of the behinds of 

Sarah Fischbuch (left), me (middle), and Ariel Barratt (right).

This picture was taken in September 

when I happened to be extremely skinny, 

so it's actually a flattering picture of my butt, 

and not at all what it currently looks like.

Try not to be deceived.

My friend Brad would laugh at my for writing this, but...

 Butts are weird. Seriously. I don't even get what makes a butt attractive.

They jiggle, and bounce, and are only good for one thing.

So, what's the big deal?

Feel free to enlighten me.

Day 19 - A picture and a letter

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently

photo from google images

 This is a photo of the Provo, UT Temple for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

A few months ago, I was going through a particularly hard time, and a friend of mine's dad gave me a blessing and encouraged me to attend the temple once a week. He promised me that if I did, I would find the answers that I needed, and I would be able to get through "this" quickly.  

And he was right!

I started going. Every single week. I usually go on Friday nights, as a date night to myself, and I mostly go alone. I tried to go to different temples throughout Utah and Salt Lake Valley, but this one is just a few seconds down the road, so I find myself there most often. 

 Temples are healing. Temples renew our souls. 

No sacrifice is too great to get to the temple.

Without the temple, we cannot live again with our Heavenly Father,

and we cannot be with our families for eternity. 

Through temples, we can help others do what they cannot do for themselves.

What a blessing to be able to do the Lord's work,

and what a privilege to be trusted by God for this purpose.

I am so grateful to be worthy to enter the House of the Lord.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

So, I already posted today. But I am really excited to do this next post...

...and I'm super bored waiting for a certain someone to get off work...

...so I'm going to go ahead and post it anyways. :)

Someone who INSPIRES me.

In this case, there are two someones. And they just happened to be married. 

And they just happen to be part of my family. 

 

Photo by: Tiny Bird Photography

Please meet my brother and sister in law:

Zach and Catherine Christensen

I love these two with all of my heart, and they truly inspire me.

Zach and Catherine have been married for almost seven years, and every time I see them, 

they are just as in love as ever.

Zach is my oldest brother. 10 years older than me. And as he says it, we are the most similar out of all 7 of our siblings. That's funny to me because when he graduated from high school, and went off on a two year mission to Thailand, I was 9. That's 3rd Grade. And when he came home I was 11, and he went straight off to school in College Station, TX. I don't remember much about our time at home together. Well, except that I was hung upside down above the toilet on several occasions, and even above the washing machine a time or two. I even remember him being chased around the house by my mother at the age of 19. Oh dear. But I don't remember much else.

And yet, I miss him and his beautiful wife more than anything. 

The biggest reason they inspire me is this sweet example:

blog post by Catherine.

I'm pretty sure their blog is private, so I'll insert a few quotes here. Hope that's ok, Cat. :)

"Do you ever have those days where you just feel like "You know what? I'm doing everything I can do, the rest is out of my hands"?

Life has been sort of like that lately but that's not the emphasis of this post. It's really about the fact that I am grateful to have a husband that helps me feel like I can rest in the assurance that we're doing everything we can do and can leave the rest up to the Lord. I don't think of myself as especially "preachy" so I apologize if this post comes off that way. I have my beliefs and I love them and I appreciate that I married a man that does too. I love that I have a husband who will stop, as he's on his way out the door in the morning, so we can kneel down and say a prayer together and that will lie in bed with me at night to read scriptures and say another. I love watching him shave and dress up for church on Sundays, looking so handsome and prepared to go someplace special. I love that on payday, the first check he writes is tithing, without a grumble or begrudging it. It's so special to me, knowing that my children will see him putting such import on faith and responsibility. Knowing that the man I chose to lead my family is strong enough to not care what the world thinks or that these days you're considered a loon if you use the word "God", "blessings", "sin" or "righteous" in daily conversation. When life gets a bit hard, like it has been of late, I am so glad that I married this wonderful man who helps me be able to say "we're doing everything we can do so we know that God will take care of the rest" and really and truly know that it's so.

On a different note, he also has an exceptionally cute butt."

So, I took the whole thing. Sorry. It was too good to cut short.

Another reason they inspire me, is this:

 

another blog post by Catherine.

Why I Love Bedtime. . .

"I was thinking the other day about some of the things I love about Husband and starting laughing when I realized how many of them center around bedtime. Just some little things he does that make me smile and will help you to know him better.

When I fall asleep on the couch (about every other evening) he carries me to bed and only grunts just a very little.

When I was ALMOST asleep on Monday after a 7 mile run I heard him come into our room, give me a kiss and then he rubbed my legs for a minute, even though he thought I was sleeping.

A few months ago I was going to bed and sometimes I get grumpy if I'm real tired so I demanded that if he was not coming to bed with me he had to lie down and sing to me till I fell asleep. Of course he did 'cause 1) he's sweet and 2) he knows better than to argue with me when I'm tired. He sang the traditional "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and a few other favorites and then, just as I'm drifting off, I hear him whisper "I feel pretty, oh so pretty. . ." I woke up laughing. :) A song I love from West Side Story, that he also loves thanks to Adam Sandler and Anger Management. :)

Lastly, my favorite part of any day is when we go to bed and I lie there in the crook of his arm and we just talk. We tell about our days, what we had thought about, life, etc. All our best discussions happen between going to bed and sleeping. I look forward to it every night.

See why I insist on saying I'm a lucky girl whenever I talk about him." 

Seriously? How stinking CUTE is that!?

Is it weird to say that I hope to marry somebody like my brother, Zach? And that I hope to be a loving, grateful wife like my sister in law, Catherine?

Luckily, at the rate I'm going, it's a possibility.

Zach and Catherine are two of my most favorite people in the world. They are both kind and loving, and extremely protective of me. They are so helpful, and hardworking, and everything I can only dream to be. They have been a huge support to me, through everything. And it's been a hard road, but they made it so much easier just by believing in me, and letting me know of their love for me. I am grateful for them and their prayers on my behalf, and their texts reminding me that they love me. I miss them dearly and hope that I can see them soon. :)

Tiny Bird Photography

Here's to you guys! I love you!

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

It seems so small, but I've always wanted to see..

on Broadway, in New York City.

Somebody, anybody, take me. Please?

Up next: Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you

Day 14: Someone you could never imagine your life without.

Someone in this case consists of four beautiful girls.

I love these girls with all of my heart. I'm reminded of that every single day.

They are beautiful, talented, smart, loving, kind, generous, happy individuals. They are all different in their own ways, and I wouldn't change a thing about them.

Jessie Lynn is the oldest, the caretaker. So loving and happy and always there when you need her. She has been my shoulder to cry on, on countless occasions. She's a wonderful wife, and will be a wonderful mother to a million beautiful little babies someday. :) Jessie has taught me what it takes to love unconditionally, and to find the good in every one. 

Kristi Ann comes next. She is uplifting, and fun loving, always able to turn a bad day around with her silly sense of humor. She is a great wife, to a lucky man, and an even better cook. Kristi is always striving to be a better, and to help those around her be better. She taught me to put the Lord first and then everything else will fall into place.

Next comes Kelly Marie. She is my little side-kick, and yet she always seems to put me in my place. We always have so much fun together. She's happy, and funny, and loves to make others laugh, plus she's really good at painting nails. ;) Kelly taught me what it's like to be a kid again, especially when I try to grow up too fast, and to never settle for less than the best.  

And last, but definitely not least, comes Katie (what the heck is her middle name??!...) Katie is so sweet, and innocent, and always striving to do whats right. She is cute, and funny, and so very loving. She became my best friend so fast, I don't think she knew what was coming to her. Katie taught me to be an example, even when it's not easy, and the importance of being different.

These girls came into my life through one specific, bumpy road. That road wasn't very long, went under some big time construction, had several detours, and then got shut down all together. But these girls were there to rescue me and bring me back to a safer, more healthy road. They are my sisters, and despite the best efforts of certain individuals, they always will be. There's nothing that can change that. I live for these girls. And I literally can't imagine my life without them. I love you girls!



Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 13 - a picture of your favorite band or artist

I la la la LOVE music!

So this one in particular, was a hard one.

But I choose...

Ingrid Michaelson.

She is AMAZING!

I saw her in concert like 5 months ago, and she is even better LIVE, then she is on CD.

She was hilarious, and oh so talented, and simple.

I loved it. :)

Day 14: Someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 11 and Day 12

something you love and something you hate.

 this is my love/hate relationship with rain.

i hate it when it rains, and the bottoms of your pants get wet. 

but i love wearing rain boots.

 i hate it when you get a car wash, and then it rains.

but i love turning on my windshield wipers and seeing the water wash away.

i hate it when you take a shower, get dressed up all pretty, and then it rains.

 but i love kissing in the rain.

next: day 13 - a picture of your favorite band or artist