Introducing My Baby...

Tatum Blake Roush

Born on Friday, July 19, 2013, at 6:17 AM

6 lbs. 12 oz. and 20 1/2  in. long

In honor of Tatum's 4 month birthday tomorrow, I have decided to finally write his birth story. Here goes!

Everything had been going like normal, other than the fact that Jaymeson and I had Carbon Monoxide poisoning 10 days previously, which meant I would have to go to fetal monitoring 2-3 times a week. During those appointments, they discovered that my baby was not creating any amniotic fluid (because of the CO poisoning), and my levels were very low. They had talked about maybe having to induce me if it got too low, but at that time I was okay.

On July 18, I was officially full time at 37 weeks. I woke up and went to work like normal, although I noticed that I had started to leak something. I didn't really think much of it because everything is always so weird when you are pregnant, and went about my work day. Throughout the day it got worse, where I was going to the bathroom every few minutes because the pads I was wearing were full. (TMI? Sorry.) So I started to think, what if my water broke? I texted me wonderful neighbor, Chelsea, to ask her what it feels like when your water breaks. She is the mother of 4 children, and always has really great advice so I thought she might be good to ask. She told me her thoughts and then recommended that I call my midwife.

Well.... I really didn't want to call my midwife, so I just went about my day. Then I thought, maybe I should ask Jaymeson what he thinks. So I did. He also told me to call the midwife. I thought about it for a little while, and then I decided to call my midwife. I explained what happened, she asked a few questions about contractions and such, and then said "Well, come on in. If you're not going to have this baby on your own, then we are going to have to induce you." I hung up the phone. Looked out of my office door, made eye contact with Megan (a fellow pregnant co-worker) who asked if I was ok, and I immediately started bawling. I was not ready to have a baby! And I definitely didn't want to be induced.

Some of my coworkers came into the office and tried to calm me down. Another coworker ran upstairs to tell my boss that I was going to have a baby and that we would be leaving soon. His response was "Well, better take her to the hospital. We don't have any towels." Why am I not surprised at that response? ;) Meanwhile, the leaking continued. I called Jaymeson to let him know that I was going to the hospital and they said they would induce me. He informed me that he was all the way out in Springville (close to an hour from the hospital) and wouldn't be able to leave until a replacement came. (It's like my worst fear about labor was coming true.)

I got to the hospital, checked into labor and delivery, put on one of  those awful gowns, and waited for a nurse to come check me out. They hooked me up to the fetal monitors that I had become so familiar with, and then checked to see if my water had actually broken. During this process, we could see that I was having pretty steady and strong contractions, however I didn't feel any of them.

They lifted my bed and shined an obnoxiously bright spotlight at my baby making areas to check for my water breaking. They kept referring to something called "Ferning", which I eventually found out was how they could tell if your water had broken. They swipe your vaginal area with a swab, put it on a slide, let it sit for about 10 minutes, stick it under a microscope, and if they see ferning (the shape of an actual fern plant), then your water has broken. Well... they came back, and said that it hadn't. So I asked what I could possibly be leaking, and they didn't have any answers. I asked them to please check again to see if my water had broken, because I knew that it had. They lifted my bed again, got out that annoying spotlight and did their "ferning" process again. While we were waiting for the results, someone came in with an ultrasound machine to measure my amniotic fluid. It was lower than it had recently been, but still not too low, so they determined that part of the fluid was being hidden. 15 minutes later, they came back with results of the ferning test and said that my water had indeed, not broken. I, again, asked what I could possibly be leaking if my water hadn't broken, and the response was "You must have a yeast infection." Right. I have absolutely no signs of a yeast infection, I am 37 weeks pregnant, and I am leaking,  but no, I just have a Yeast Infection. I asked them if they could at least check me for dilation, in which they responded that they would do that at my next appointment, which wasn't for 6 days. Ok then.

They gave me a prescription for antibiotics to clear up my so-called Yeast Infection. I got dressed, checked out of the hospital, and went to get my prescription. (Side note, I think the worst thing about being pregnant, is going to the hospital, thinking you are in labor, and finding out that you are not.) My plan was to head back to work, but by the time I finally got my prescription, it was close to 4:00 and I didn't feel like it. So I left the hospital, let Jaymeson know I was being sent home, and headed over to pick up Jayah from her moms.

On the way to Jayah's mom, I started having contractions that I could feel and were painful. . They came out of nowhere and where immediately only a few minutes apart. I picked her up, and she begged me to take her swimming at Jaymeson's mom's house. We went home to get our swimsuits and then headed over. My neighbor called to see how everything went at the hospital, and could tell that I was in a lot of pain while we were on the phone. She recommended going back to the hospital, but I of course didn't listen because I didn't want to get sent home again. (Reminder, always listen to Chelsea. She knows best.) So I went on my way to my mother in laws.

Once we got there, the contractions had gotten even more painful, and she could immediately tell that I was in a lot of pain. I kept having to go to the bathroom, but I couldn't. I was doubled over on the couch trying to handle these contractions. I couldn't concentrate or respond to anything anyone was saying to me. I remember being in the bathroom, and my friend Cassie called, and even she could tell I was having a hard time!

Jayah kept begging to go out to the pool, so we decided to head out there and get me in the water to see if that helped at all. By now, my mother in law was almost positive that I was going to have a baby that night. We had started to time my contractions and they were about 2 minutes apart for over a minute long. I asked my mother in law to call my midwife and she did. She explained the situation to the midwife on call (also the one who I had seen earlier that day), who's response was "Well, she can come in if she wants, but she's going to be disappointed when I have to send her home again." She also said that I could have contractions like that for days before going into labor, to which I thought, NO WAY can I have contractions like this for days. I am completely dysfunctional like this. In the meantime, my friend Stephanie (who was due 9 days after me) had heard the news that I was having contractions and was texting me. I don't remember anything we talked about it, but I am sure that it was along the lines of freaking out, and oh my gosh you are having a baby.

After getting in the pool (which made it worse), we decided that I needed to go back to the hospital. My mother in law called Jaymeson (who was still out in Springville) and told him that I would be having the baby tonight and he needed to get home to take me to the hospital as soon as possible. After what felt like hours (was probably really only an hour), Jaymeson got there, picked me up, and we headed to the hospital.

Throughout my whole pregnancy, I had decided that I wanted to have a natural birth. At least, I wanted to try. On the car ride there, I was in a lot of pain and made the decision that no way was I going to try to do this natural. We got to the hospital, checked in, and I immediately asked the nurse for an epidural. She told me that she couldn't give me an epidural because they weren't sure if I was in labor or not, but they could give me some pain killers to take the edge off. Yea right. That stuff didn't work at all. All I remember about this part was that I kept telling Jaymeson how stupid this was ("this" meaning the pain), and how much I hated it, etc. Haha!

They lifted my bed up, got out the annoying spotlight again to check for ferning, came back about 15 minutes later and confirmed that my water HAD broken and I was dilated to 3 cm.. Thank you for confirming what I already knew was true. Luckily this time, it was a different midwife so I didn't scream at her for sending me home earlier when she shouldn't. I liked this one also, because she was the one who was there during the CO hospitalization, so I was familiar with her, and she was really nice.

After they confirmed that my water had broken, they brought in the anesthesiologist to give me the epidural. Once the epidural was in, I was in HEAVEN. It seriously, was the best thing ever. And I will never even think about doing a natural birth again.  I was calm, I wasn't in pain, and Jaymeson and I were left sitting there talking about how crazy it was that we were going to be having a baby that night. Shortly after this, Jaymeson's mom brought Jayah to the hospital to hang out with us. We played some games, watched some tv, and talked about what her baby brother would look like.

Shortly after that, Jaymeson, Jayah, and Jill left to get food and pack a hospital bag for me. (Reminder, don't wait until 37 weeks to back your hospital bag... just in case.) About half an hour after they left, they called to see where I was at. I had dilated to a 7! They hadn't even been home yet, so they raced home, then they raced back to the hospital so that they wouldn't miss anything. Jaymeson told me that Jill was driving 80 miles an hour the whole way back to the hospital.

A few hours went by, and I was still dilated to a 7. My contractions were still 1-2 minutes apart for over a minute long (though, luckily I couldn't feel them.) My midwife had decided that she needed to do something to speed up the labor, so she gave me some Potocin. At that point, they checked to make sure the baby wasn't breached or anything like that. They found out that he was head down, but he was face up. They said that I could still delivery him that way, but that it would be more difficult. So they decided to try to get him to turn by having me lay in certain, weird positions until it was time to push.

By then it was after 9:00. Jayah had fallen asleep, Jaymeson was falling asleep, and Jill was texting me parents keeping them updated. Hours passed, and I was left awake watching stupid middle of the night tv shows and waiting for something to happen. Finally, 5:00 AM or so came around on the 19th and my midwife told me that the baby had turned face down, it was time to push. Holy cow, this was it! I woke up Jaymeson and Jill and got ready to push.

How come nobody warns you about pushing? Pushing was by far, the hardest part of labor. It was so tiring, and there were times where I didn't think I could do it. I pushed for about an hour, and out came my cone headed, bald baby boy. At some point during pushing, I had taken my glasses off. So when he came out, and they plopped him down on my chest, I really couldn't see anything. The lights were dim, and I was honestly too tired from pushing to care. Then they took him away to measure him and everything, and brought him back.

They informed me that because he was in my belly too long without any amniotic fluid, that he had a fever and an infection, so they were going to have to take him away from monitoring and antibiotics. I got to hold him for a few minutes, wake up Jayah to hold her new baby brother (yes she slept through the entire delivery process), take a picture, and then they took him away. They finished cleaning me up and then wheeled me to my room where I would be spending the rest of my time at the hospital.

I didn't see Tatum for a few hours after he was born. You know how mom's will say that they fell in love with their baby the moment the laid eyes on him/her? That wasn't the case for me. It took me a few days to really fall in love with Tatum. And I really believe that it was because I didn't get to spend any real time with him while we were in the hospital because they kept taking him away from me for testing and antibiotics. Jaymeson had to work all night the night after Tatum was born, so my wonderful mother in law came and stayed with me at the hospital. When Jaymeson came, he was of course exhausted, so he slept all day. Then he had to work again all night. And slept all day again, the next day. So, I spent a lot of time alone.

Because of the lack of oxygen to Tatum's kidneys, he was not pooping or peeing like he was supposed to. They were worried that his kidney's might be defective and talked about having to keep him longer even after we were discharged. I did not want to leave my baby at the hospital by himself! Luckily, just before we were discharged, he pooped and they let us take him home. We got him dressed in a cute outfit and put him in his cute carseat and headed home. It was the craziest feeling to me and I was completely overwhelmed.

We pulled up to our house and I sat in the car bawling my eyes out because I was so overwhelmed and I didn't know how to be a mom. I contribute a lot of the reason that I was so overwhelmed to the fact that my house was a disaster. We didn't know, or even expect me to go into labor so soon, so we hadn't prepared at all. My wonderful mother in law could sense that and hung out at our house for a few hours and deep cleaned everywhere. I love her and I am so grateful for her. It was really hard for me being so far away from my family, and having none of my family there for support, but she took such good care of me. I couldn't ask for a better support system and mother in law than her. :)

So, now my sweet baby boy turns 4 months old tomorrow and I am so in love with me. After I had him, everyone would ask me if there was anything about having a baby that surprised me. My response was always, "I never knew that I would love him this much." And it is so true. I love Tatum more than anything in the world and the past 4 months have been the happiest of my entire life. He is perfect and wonderful and I am so grateful to be his mother. I love you baby boy!

At 4 months, Tatum is very vocal. He talks all the time and is very opinionated in his "words." He smiles so big when he sees me and his daddy, and he loves to be held. I am no longer able to nurse, so he drinks from a bottle that he can hold himself. He wakes up every 3 hours or so to eat and then he goes right back to sleep. He loves to hang out in his Johnny Bouncer (even though he can't bounce himself, he just likes to stand in it.) He was blessed on October 13, in Texas with my family. And he is the light of our lives. Here are some pictures of his life so far (sorry they are out of order):

1 month old

1 month old

2 weeks old

1 day old

2 Days old

6 weeks old

3 months old

2 months old

Almost 4 months old

The day our unborn baby saved our lives...

Jaymeson and I decided to take a weekend getaway to celebrate our one year anniversary, and have a little together time before this baby comes. We did it about 4 weeks in advance, just in case the baby decided to come early.

 We decided to stay in downtown Salt Lake City at the Kimball Condos, and take a few days to just relax and be together. Friday night after Jayah got picked up by her mom, we loaded into the car and went to dinner at Jaymeson's favorite restaurant, Ruby River. After dinner, we decided we should probably stock up on some snacks (AKA cereal) for the weekend because the condo we were staying in had a full kitchen for us to use. We raced to Jaymeson's mom's store to hopefully get there before it closed and didn't make it. So we decided to brave the Downtown Harmons. Holy craziness, where do you even park at that place?? It's like a 3 or 4 story grocery store, with cooking classes and tons of other stuff inside. Cool place, but really, where are you supposed to park? We stocked up on some cereal and got a redbox and headed to the condo for the night. I wasn't feeling very good, so I ended up falling asleep, leaving my sweet husband to watch Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 by himself.

Saturday, we woke up whenever our bodies felt like it, and went to the Salt Lake City Temple to do some sealings. One of my best friends has a tradition with her husband that they do sealings every year on their anniversary, so I decided to steal their tradition. :) Thanks Jess! It was actually the first time that Jaymeson or I had ever done sealings, besides our own. And it was pretty cool. :) After sealings, we walked around temple square and then walked back to the condo to change into regular clothes.

 For lunch, we decided to go walk around City Creek. We ate at Johnny Rockets, and then wandered City Creek until Jaymeson realized that City Creek was a completely different place than the Gateway. So, we got in our car and drove on over to the Gateway, because that's where we wanted to be. At the Gateway, we walked around and did some window shopping, checked out Build-a-Bear, and a few other fun places, and even got the online price for some PJs that I wanted for the baby's delivery from Victoria's Secret. (Which you will see later...)

Then it started to rain. And as you know, the Gateway is an outdoor mall. So we found some shelter and sat and waited out the rain. Then we went to see "Now You See Me" at the Gateway Theatre, which was actually pretty good. Jaymeson had a pretty strong headache the entire time, so I don't know how much of it he actually saw, but I would recommend it!

After the movie, we drove around downtown to find a gas station to get Jaymeson some tylenol or something. There are NO gas stations downtown. It took us maybe 15 minutes to find one! Then we went back to the condo, Jaymeson fell asleep, and I continued to watch Breaking Dawn Pt. 2 by myself!

I developed a headache at some point in the night and didn't sleep very much. At about 8 AM or so, I gave up trying to sleep and decided to eat some cereal and start packing up because we had to check out of the condo by 11. I had started to feel kind of weird, weak mostly. I woke up Jaymeson shortly after, and he still had a bad headache. He took a shower, hoping that would help, and then attempted to help me pack everything up for check out. Both of us starting to feel very light headed, and weak. It was the weirdest thing. We would take a few steps and then stumble and have to lay down or sit down before we could see clearly again. The whole room seemed dim, every sound seemed like it was inside our heads, and we could barely do anything without needing to take a break.

Jaymeson felt like he wasn't able to breath very well, so he opened the windows and we hung out of them for a few minutes before we continued trying to pack up. It took us close to 2 hours to get our tiny weekend bags packed and out the door. In fact, we got everything next to the door and had to stop and lay down for a few minutes before we could even continue. Jaymeson felt like there was really something wrong in that room and pushed us both to get out of the building as quickly as we could. We stumbled to the elevator and (Jaymeson's brother makes fun of me for this...) I told Jaymeson to just go ahead and go while I rested for a few minutes and then I would meet him out there. He encouraged me to get up and come with him so that we could both get out together. So I did.

We checked out and stumbled out to the car. We threw our bags on the ground and got in the car so we could rest. We sat there for about 30 minutes before Jaymeson had the strength to get out and put our bags in the car. We continued sitting there for another 30 minutes, because neither of us had the strength to drive away. I started to get really worried because I hadn't felt the baby move in a few days (you are supposed to feel them 10 times in an hour), so Jaymeson called my midwives office and explained the situation to the answering service. The midwife called back shortly later, and suggested that we come into Labor and Delivery and have the baby monitored.

So, Jaymeson somehow mustered up enough strength to drive us from downtown SLC to the hospital where I will be delivering. They hooked me up to an IV (my first IV ever) and baby monitors to monitor my uterus and the baby's heart rate. Once the monitors were on, we saw that the baby's heart rate was very low, almost not there. So they decided to keep me monitored for a little while, and try a couple things to shake the baby up to get his heart rate going again. 

The nurse kept asking about our weekend, and after Jaymeson explained how we were feeling that morning, she decided that she needed to test my blood. They took 6 or 7 viles of blood from me. A few minutes later, the nurse received a call from whoever tested my blood, went away to take the call, came back and said "You have an outrageous amount of carbon monoxide in your blood. And I'm assuming you do too (to Jaymeson). Let's get you to the ER." So, they took my husband to the ER, and hooked me up to an oxygen mask, while I sat there really not understanding what was going on.

They kept coming in and out asking more questions about where we were, and how long we had been there, etc. She said that the guy who tested the blood asked if we had spent the night in a building on fire, because our carbon monoxide levels were so high. (Normal is 0-2, and both of ours were over 22+.) She said that we were lucky to be alive, and that she should not have had us drive ourselves to the hospital.

Jaymeson's phone died, so I had no idea what was going on with him. They kept mentioning this weird chamber thing and that they were going to have to transport Jaymeson to a different hospital, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I didn't understand, and then my mother in law showed up. Luckily, Jaymeson was able to get ahold of her before his phone died so she came as quickly as she scould. She saw Jaymeson first in the ER and said that he was hooked up to oxygen and IV's like I was. In the meantime, the baby's heart rate was still "sluggish".

After an hour or so, they said they were going to take me to the Hyperbaric Chamber, and that they were able to figure out a way to have Jaymeson and I together. Thank goodness. So, they wheeled me to another part of the hospital where I met Jaymeson. Both of us in hospital gowns, hooked up to oxygen masks. They took more blood, ran a few other tests, and then talked about how we'd be spending the next 3 hours in the Hyperbaric Chamber. I still really had no idea what that meant. 

They wheeled us into a room that reminded me of being in a spaceship or something. They talked about how they were going to pressurize the room to the "third atmosphere" and fill the room with straight oxygen. The purpose being to basically suck all of the carbon monoxide out of our system, and add straight oxygen. Good news is, we could watch a movie! 

They sealed the doors shut with me, Jaymeson, and a technician inside. The room started to pressurize, and we could feel our ears popping. Once we were to the "third atmosphere", we had to put our helmets on. This part really freaked me out. I am slightly claustrophobic, so when I had this helmet suctioned to my neck, I started to panic. I got the technicians attention and mouthed to him that I couldn't breath. He was very nice, but probably thought I was an idiot because his response was "You are breathing straight oxygen." He came to the conclusion that I was just a crazy person, and pumped my IV up with Adavan, to calm my anxiety. It worked pretty quickly. We sat there and watched Bruce Almighty, and even a few episodes of Friends until the time was up. The room de-pressurized and the doors were opened.

 Then we went back to my room. Jaymeson was treated as an Outpatient, but he of course stayed in the hospital with me. I was hooked up to constant baby monitors and an IV. After the first treatment, the baby's heart rate livened up quite a bit, although I still hadn't felt him moving. We had dinner and had a few visitors and finally got to sleep around 1 in the morning. I was woken up several times in the night by the nurses because the baby monitor wasn't picking up anything. It was so frustrating! I think one of my nurses got so annoyed with having to come in so often, that she hooked the monitor up so tight that when I took it off in the morning, there was a huge crater in my belly.

They had us in separate Hyperbaric Chambers for our last 2 treatments. Jaymeson had to be up at 5:30 AM to go to his, and then mine was right after. This time, we were in individual chambers, which I thought would be way worse. But it actually wasn't. They gave me a small dose of Adavan, just in case I got crazy again, and we got to again, watch a movie. 

We had a short break, where we got to visit a little bit with Jayah (Weirdly enough, her mom was a few doors down having a baby while we were getting our treatments.) We ate lunch, and then Jaymeson was off to his next treatment. I took a nap, and then went to mine right after. When we were done, they did Neurological tests on both of us and more blood tests, and we were released. They talked about how there was a possibility of relapse, which would include memory loss, slurred words, etc, but there was no way to tell if that would happen to us or not. We were informed that we would have long term fatigue, and would feel hotter than normal, (Great, just what I needed at 36 weeks pregnant.) and that we would be more susceptible to carbon monoxide poisoning in the future. They also said the baby could possibly have Neurological damage, but there was no way to know until he was born.

 We went to dinner with Jaymeson's mom, picked up Jayah for the night, and hung out at his mom's house until we were all too exhausted to do anything else. We both had the next day off of work, because I had a follow up appointment or two for the baby. We mostly just relaxed and spent some time together, reliving the craziness of the weekend. Sometimes, I still can't believe it even happened!

We had a follow up appointment 2 weeks after the incident with the Hyperbaric people, and I had doctor's appointments every other day doing stress testing on the baby. I was low on amniotic fluid after the incident because the baby wasn't getting any oxygen from me during the whole ordeal. Any oxygen he had, he was storing in his brain and heart, and not sending any to his kidneys, so he stopped creating amniotic fluid. Normal levels are between 8 and 24 and they struggle to find 5-7 each time. 

His heart rate looked fine mostly, but they considered having to induce me because they thought that out of my belly may have been safer than in my belly at that point. Although, that was just an assumption. I heard from every nurse and doctor that they really didn't know what to do with me because I was in "uncharted territories". They had never known of a situation like mine, being pregnant and poisoned by carbon monoxide. They encouraged me to lay down as much as possible and drink 3 liters of water a day to see if that will help. Luckily (or unluckily) I lost my job with JetBlue because I was hospitalized during training, so I was not working 7:00 AM-9:00 PM every day. I did continue to work full time with the law firm though... that is until I went in to early labor. But that is a story for another post. :)

We both are still in such disbelief of the whole situation. You hear about things like this happening, but never think it could happen to you or someone you know. Several of the Hyperbaric doctors told us that most people who are exposed to carbon monoxide never get treated and end up with neurological damage down the road. Sometimes they are even exposed in their sleep and never end up waking up. They told us several stories of people who carry portable CO detectors with them and have found themselves in places, such as restaurants, hotel rooms, even outdoors, with high levels if CO in the air. Needless to say, next time we've got a little extra money (you know, after the several thousand dollars of medical bills we all have now...) we will be purchasing a portable CO detector for every member of our little family. Just to be safe. 

I've received reports back from the fire department and the gas company, and found that just about every boiler in the building had something wrong with it, including broken pipes, unsealed doors, and recalled parts. The building was evacuated for inspections and testing, and carbon monoxide levels near our room were over 4000 ppm! Reports also showed that other people were treated in the hospital, but we were the only ones with high enough levels to need Hyperbaric treatment. 

And that is the story of how our unborn baby saved our lives. Although he will never understand what he did, we are forever grateful to him. If I had felt him moving, we would not have gone to the hospital that day. We would have gone home and waited out our weird sickness and possibly had some severe neurological damage because of it. Not only did he save our lives, but he saved the lives of every one in the building. If we had not gone to the hospital, the fire department may have never been called and the building may have never been evacuated, and a lot of people could have suffered worse poisoning than ours or even death. When I think about that, I get chills. So many people could have died that day. It's so scary. 

We still do not know if or what kind of neurological damage Tatum may have, but I am hopeful that he is just fine. He is a lively, happy baby, and looks and seems absolutely perfect. Only time will tell, but I think our little one will be blessed and will be just fine. :)

We love you baby boy! 

Things are about to get crazy...

I have been meaning to write this blog update for about 2 weeks, and life has gotten so busy that I haven't been able to! I don't even remember all of the things I wanted to write about anymore!

I had my third study appointment on May 16, at 28 weeks. We got to see our little boy again, via 3D ultrasound. It was kind of cool... and kind of creepy. He had some rather large lips, and a very wide set nose. I left hoping that the baby didn't come out looking the way he did on the ultrasound, and I think Jaymeson left wondering if the baby was actually his. (joke.) Good news is, I have heard that most 3D ultrasound pictures make your baby look like they have bigger features, because they are so squished in there.Cross your fingers!

We found out that the baby is head down, butt up-left, and feet up-right, and he's not going anywhere because he doesn't have any room to move! We also found out that the baby is measuring 2 weeks bigger than he's supposed to be, and I am measuring 2 weeks bigger than I am supposed to be. They said that either he's going through a growth spurt, or I'm more than likely going to have him early. I'm not really sure which one I am rooting for.

I had my regular doctor appointment on May 17, where I did the dreaded Glucose test. It really wasn't as bad as everyone makes it out to seem. I was nervous I was going to end up with Gestational Diabetes, but luckily I am all good. The only issue they have found is that I am a little bit Anemic, so I need to get a little bit more iron into my system. Easy schmeazy.

I did end up switching to a midwife group, and I'm actually very happy! The midwife I met spent a lot of time in the beginning answering a lot of my questions and concerns. I really loved that she focused a lot of time on making sure I felt comfortable and understood everything I needed to know. I also really loved that she spent a lot of time talking to me about how their goal is to make sure that the birth is what I would like it to be. She even told me that I could make a birth plan if I wanted, but that their job was to ask questions and get answers from me and do it the way I want it done, as long as neither mine or the baby's safety was at risk. I am so grateful that I switched! I feel so good about the midwife group.

I have started teetering between going natural and an epidural again. I think it's more of the fear of the pain that is starting to make me chicken out. I really am a baby.

Now, onto crazier things! Are you ready for this?

I am officially crazy.

I am taking a second part time job with Jet Blue Airlines, starting one week from today. And I'm kind of freaking out about it a little bit.

I'll be honest with you. The absolute only reason I am taking this job is for the flight benefits. I get free flights for myself, my husband, my kids, and my parents. Plus a number of buddy passes per year. The pay is not good at all, but I feel like I'd be a fool not to take this job, JUST because of the flight benefits. My family is all in Texas, so I never get to see any of them. Plus, I am a penny pincher. So we never go on any trips or vacations because I am always worried about saving the money. I'd like to be able to go on vacations with my little family, and not spend the entire time worrying about budgets and what's in what account.

For this job, I have to average 16 hours per week, in a 4 month period. And I get to work from home. They provide a phone and a computer. There are health benefits (that I will not be taking advantage of), the flight benefits, and pretty good paid time off benefits. They seem like a really fun company to work for (parties, take your kid to work day, etc), with lots of room for growth.

I am also going to keep my current full time job at the disability law office, although I will be dropping down to 30 hours a week. I have a really great position, and I have been doing this for almost 4 years, and they have been really good to me. I will be going back to work after I have my baby. I'm not sure to what capacity yet, but I will be working at least 30 hours per week, for insurance purposes.

So, my life is about to get crazy. Starting one week from today, I will have to attend a mandatory 4 week, FULL TIME, training with Jet Blue. I will also have to continue working full time at the law office. On June 10 orientation, we get to bid for our shifts based on seniority. My training group obviously has the least seniority, and within the training group they base seniority off of your age. I'm pretty positive I am the youngest in my group, so I will probably have the crappiest shift for the first 4 months until we get to bid again! After the 4 week training, I will continue regular hours with the law office, and commence my schedule with Jet Blue.

Like I said, I'm freaking out a little bit.

It's going to be so so hard, and I'm going to probably want to rip my hair, and everyone else's hair out on a daily basis. But I'm really, sincerely, hoping that it will be worth it once the training is over.

One thing that I am a little worried about with Jet Blue, is that you are not allowed to schedule any time off during the first 90 days of employment. That puts me somewhere in mid September before I am allowed to schedule any time off., which is obviously after my due date. I AM allowed to switch shifts, or give away shifts,  but I hear that it is kind of difficult to do that when you work the crappy shifts, which like I said, will probably be mine. So, my concern is that I will be scheduled for shifts, and then I will go into labor, and then I won't be able to get them covered, and then I get fired and lose all of my cool flight benefits. Gah!

SO... if any of you work for Jet Blue, or know someone who works for Jet Blue, please let me know! I'd like to find someone who would be willing to pick up my shifts (if any) last minute while I am in the hospital delivering a baby. That would help me out so much, and I would love you forever!!

Anyways, on to other updates. Jayah is in her last month of Kindergarten Prep before she starts Kindergarten in August. I can't believe she's so big! She had a dance recital this past weekend, where she got to be the wicked witch, and she was so so cute! We also took our maternity pictures yesterday, by the beautiful and wonderful Kristin Gaul. (click to see her website). I am so excited to see them.

AND my best friend is coming to Utah this week!! I can't wait to see her! I am taking a day off to spend with her and her cute family, and then we are taking some maternity pictures together (because she is due less than 2 weeks after me!) It's gonna be awesome!

Stay tuned for more updates! :)

Another Pregnancy Discussion: Birth Plans

Now that I am in my third trimester, I have been thinking a lot about the actual labor and delivery of this baby. I started writing my birth plan today and realized that I should probably write more than "Please don't hurt me" and "Make sure the baby has all of his body parts before handing him to me." (Kidding... sort of.)

So I'd like to get some opinions and advice from all of you that have given birth at least once in this lifetime.

What are some common (or not common) things you included, or wish you had included in your own birth plans? And why?

PS, I have switched to a midwife and will be delivering my baby, with a widwife, in a hospital.

PPS, I have also decided (I think) to delivery naturally, with the option of a walking epidural if I can't handle it.

I am open to anything, so don't be shy!

Tangled

Let me tell you about the story of me and Jaymeson.

Jaymeson and I have both previously been married. Ironically enough, our ex-spouses are cousins. (Shocker, I know.) Jaymeson's ex wife and I had become pretty good friends, and during both of our divorces,  I spent a lot of time conversing with her. She shared a lot of that information with him, and when both of our divorces were final, he kindly reached out to me... via facebook...

He sent me a short and sweet message stating that he understands what I am going through and that he was there if I needed someone to talk to. I responding, not thinking anything about it, with my phone number, and mentioned that we should get together sometime.

A few short hours later, I received a text. We texted practically non-stop all day everyday, for weeks and weeks and weeks. Jaymeson denies it, but I know that he wanted to go out with me.

Several months went by, and we stayed as "texting buddies". I was going through a lot, whether I wanted to admit it or not. I confided in Jaymeson, and he confided in me. He always mentioned things about how he really wanted to hang out, and how I was too pretty for him, and how I deserved the best there was. I, being the brat that I am, thought he was so weird. I didn't understand why someone I had never actual met, was so interesting in being my friend. A few times even, I would make plans with him, and then when he would be halfway to my house, I would cancel. (He lived in SLC and I lived in Provo-45 minutes.) There were even a few times where I invited him to come to my soccer games, and when he was almost there, I stopped responding so he didn't know where to go. (I know, I'm such a brat.)

However, we remained friends, and text buddies all day, every day.

One conversation we had while at work, was about Tangled, the movie. He had mentioned to me about how he wanted to see that movie so bad and how he especially wanted to see the "Smolder" from Flynn Rider.

Five months had come and gone since that first facebook message, and we had only seen each once. I needed a date for the BYU vs. Utah women's volleyball game, and had ran out of options. I asked him if he'd like to come, and of course, he jumped right on it. We made a bet, that whoever's team won, would be treated to ice cream by the loser. I went for Utah, and he went for BYU. Utah obviously won, and he treated me to Farr's ice cream. We talked a lot about our ex's and I remember that he kept staring me straight in the eye. To this day, he remembers that I lined my ice cream with 'nilla wafers, and he still thinks it's cute.

Afterwards, he dropped me off at my car, we hugged, and I left. I thought to myself (and apparently so did he) that's never going to happen again. We parted ways and remained as text buddies.

Five months went by, and Jaymeson and I had slowly stopped texting. I went home to Houston for Christmas. For Christmas that year, I gave each of my parents and my siblings, a date night, of their choice, on me. Each of us did various activities, but my little sister and I went to Tangled and ice cream. While we were in the movie, I saw the "smolder", and immediately thought of Jaymeson. I texted him and told him that I was thinking of him, and Merry Christmas, etc. He responded shortly after, and we commenced our texting as normal. Come to find out later, when he received my text, he called all of his closest friends to find out what to say next, and waiting as long as he could before he responded. If I remember correctly, it was 20 minutes at the most. :)

I came back to Utah, and we continued texting all day, every day. He mentioned to me about a girl that he had kind of been dating, that he really liked, who had recently broken things off with him, but he thought it was a mistake. I encouraged him to reach out to her, and actually helped him write her a facebook message to explain how he felt. He wrote it all out and sent it to me to review (I, being the English freak that I am, corrected all of his grammar and punctuation, and sent it back.) He then started hesitating on whether or not he was actually going to send it to her. I "threatened" him, that if he didn't send it to her, I would find him and kick him... or something like that. A week or so later, he told me that he had sent it to her, but she had never responded, and he had given up. Come to later find out, he didn't actually send it to her. He didn't actually want to start things up with her again. And he regretted even talking with me about it because he didn't want to scare me away.

Jaymeson's birthday is January 13, just two weeks after mine. We were texting while I was at work a few days before and he had mentioned how he had no plans on his birthday. (Come to later find out, he did have plans to go to dinner with his ex wife...) I felt kinda bad for the guy, so I quickly tried to plan a surprise birthday party for him.

DISASTER.

I invited the few friends of his that I knew of, his family, and his ex's family (because as far as I knew, they were all still friends.) Boy, was I wrong. I picked up Jaymeson to take him to dinner at Texas Roadhouse, and we got there, and there was quite the feud going on between his and her families. They settled down, we had the most awkward dinner of a life time. And then Jaymeson and I finally got to see Tangled together. It was a lot of fun, and he, like old times, would send me texts throughout the movie because he thought it was cute. We went back to his condo after the movie and talked for a few hours and then I went over to his ex's house to spend the night. Her, Jayah, and I stayed up all night talking, and then I went to work early the next morning.

The weekend after that, he asked if he could pick me up to go check out Cabela's with him and Jayah. He drove all the way to Provo to get me, then back up to Lehi to Cabela's. We hung out, ate lunch, watched Jayah marvel over all of the animals, and then he took me home. We continued as text buddies. I told Jaymeson that I didn't feel comfortable going out with him without it being ok with his ex (because we were friends). So he talked to her about it. She texted me and told me about their conversation and told me that we should continue seeing each other and that she thought we were a good for each other. And then Jaymeson and I started to see each other more and more and more.

It took him 3 whole weeks to kiss me, and I was going crazy. Poor guy was so nervous! He later told me that he just decided he was going to do it, and told his friends "See ya later, I'm going to kiss her tonight!" and met me in the parking lot of my work. We talked for a few hours, and then it was way too late and time for both of us to head home. I kept hinting that I wanted him to kiss me, but he just wasn't doing it. So I finally pulled away from him, he grabbed my hand, pulled me in and kissed me! He was shaking like crazy, and I'm sure I was too.

It was then that we decided to be exclusive. We spent as much time as possible together, and dated for a year and a half before we got married. It was difficult, we were both still healing and discovering ourselves from our divorces, but it was worth it. Jaymeson and I were made for each other and I couldn't be happier. Of all the choices I have made, my decision to stick with him through it all, was the best thing I ever did.

Meet Bella

For Jayah's fifth birthday, we decided to get her a puppy. And since she doesnt get a little sister this year, we decided on a girl puppy. 

Meet Bella. Our American Bulldog puppy. 

This was on the second day we got her, the day we gave her to Jayah.

This is when we bought her a bed. It matches her cute collar and everything!

 She's pretty cute, huh? Well cute is all she is! I have never had a dog before, so she has been somewhat of a challenge for me. Sometimes I am sure that I hate her. I just hope and pray that this puppy is no indication of how I will be as a mother...

This is trying to take her on a walk. She definitely hates her leash.

In her defense, she has gotten a lot better. She has less accidents and doesn't bark and whine all night. Jaymeson thinks she gets a little jealous of me because every time we sit on the couch together, she barks and snaps at me. That is the only time she barks or snaps at anyone, except the little kids in the neighborhood who try to carry her around like a baby. Jaymeson is also sure that she is going to become my best friend, so much so that I will want her to sleep with us. I disagree. She stinks!

Jayah sure loves her though!

The day Jayah met Bella.

Getting Bella's first shots.

 In pregnancy related news, I am now 25 weeks and very fat. I feel the baby kicking constantly, and sometimes I am sure he is break dancing in there. 

Feeling pretty good these days, think I am starting to get a little heartburn though...

Anyone know of any heartburn solutions? (other than Tums)

...I have started to crave things like mustard and sour skittles. In which I haven't been holding back one bit. Probably why I have gained 16 lbs! In the words of my nurse, "Wow, you sure have jumped up!" Thanks. My belly measured at 24 centimeters though, so I guess I am "right on track". 

My next appointment is the glucose test, and also my first shot in the butt. And then I will be in my 3rd trimester. Woot! 

Did I mention we bought a house? We closed a month ago. I love it! It's nice having our own space and having room to just be. It is mostly put together, but I am sure things will always change. Our neighborhood is super cute, with a park right in the middle of our little square. There are TONS of children for Jayah to play with. I can even watch her at the park from my kitchen! One of our neighbors said it is like recess all the time out there. It was a long and hectic process to get here, but we are finally here!

  

 

Oh yea! I got a Samsung Tablet! Happy birthday to me... 4 months later. My dad got me an Amazon giftcard for my birthday that I have been just waiting to find the perfect thing to use it on. I wanted to buy a crib with it, but Jaymeson and my dad convinced me that I needed to use it on myself. It was hard, because I dont like spending unnecessary money, but they were right! Sometimes you just need to spoil yourself. And I cant remember the last time I did that! I love it so far, but still getting used to the Android system. 

Speaking of that, does anyone know how to watch tv shows for free on this thing? I dont mean like on Netflix, I mean current shows. How am I supposed to keep up to date on American Idol without cable!?

Jayah had her first school pictures a week or two ago. She is just so cute! She is loving her Kindergarten Prep class. She also had Kindergarten Orientation last week! I can't believe she is FIVE and almost in Kindergarten! 

April 2013

Jayah eating milk and cookies at Kindergarten Orientation.

 She started a soccer class at her school. They flew in some Brazil soccer players for a 7 week soccer camp, and she is loving it! I am so impressed by how talented she is athletically. Jaymeson and I took her to the park last week and played some soccer with her and she did so well! I can't wait for her to start on a team and to be able to be her coach! I miss soccer so much! 

 

She is also enjoying her dance class. She is quite the little ballerina! She is having a performance this summer where they are dancing to the music from The Wizard of Oz. She gets to be the wicked witch! Her teacher has been so impressed at how well she is doing, that she even gets to have a solo or two in the performance

Anyways, I think that is all for now. Work has been super busy, but I will try to post more often. See ya next time!

Baby Boy Roush

We are having a baby boy!! He's super cute and super healthy, and he's got all of his organs and body parts! Even Jayah was excited it was a boy!

We had my NuMom2Be Study Thursday night, where Jayah was able to come with us. The first thing we did was the gender ultrasound. Jayah was hugging on my arm and laughing, and only slightly disappointed that it wasn't a little sister. But we told her the next one would be. :) It was really cool because we got to see him opening and closing his mouth and sticking his tongue out. He was even holding his legs up over his head with his hands. Poor guy looks so so squished in there! We got a video of the ultrasound, which is really cool. We can watch it at home on our DVD player, but so far that's the only place we have been able to watch it.

Perfect Baby Boy

 

The next morning, we had my regular doctor's appointment with Dr. Evanson (who I am still not a huge fan of. Maybe not her, but the whole experience at her office.) Just me and Jaymeson this time. We did another gender ultrasound first thing, confirming that it really was a boy, and then she showed us all of his organs and everything. We got another video of this ultrasound with the heartbeat. I am trying to upload it to the blog, but it's not working.

After the ultrasound, we met with the doctor and talked about possible "birthing plans". I'm still honestly, very unsure of how I want the delivery to go, other than non-complicated.

His perfect little foot.

 

We are very excited for a baby boy. Jaymeson has had the name picked out since we started dating, but I'm still warming up to it, while looking around at other options. We have also decided to do a Dallas Cowboys nursery. I figure if I'm having a boy, he's probably going to follow in his Daddy's footsteps and play football, rather than his Mommy's and play soccer. I'm ok with that though. It will be cute to watch him grow up learning to play football with his dad.

Also a major plus: His dad is super handsome, so he's bound to be super handsome too, right?

My next appointment is in 6ish week. I'll be 24 weeks and a little more than halfway through... thank goodness.

Other Roush news: Jayah turns FIVE in a little over a week! How crazy is that?! She is getting so big and learning so much in her Kindergarten Prep class. She is also starting a mini soccer camp with her school coming up. I'm really hoping she loves it, because I would LOVE to be her soccer coach. She's learning about teeth, and the days of the week, and even learned the letter "Q" this week. She already knows that quiet and quick start with letter Q. She knows how to spell her name, Mommy, Daddy, love, baby, and a few other words she loves. And she has my phone number memorized.

His perfect little.... boy parts.

 

Jayah and I are also performing in "Music Man" in a few weeks. We are just in the chorus, but it will be fun to be on stage and dance with her. She did "Annie Get Your Gun" last year, and made the cutest little piglet, and townsgirl. This year, she is also a townsgirl, and a perfect little drummer. I just get to stand on stage looking fat, in a pretty blue dress. :-P

We are also, hopefully, moving soon. We have kind of kept this on the down-low, but we are BUYING A HOUSE. We haven't said anything because we have had so much bad luck with home-buying. But this one, is hopefully working out! I've been really frustrated with my realtor, and also the lenders. It seems like every day they tell me something else that they need, pushing out the closing date further and further. We've been "about to close" for about 2 weeks now. As of yesterday, we should close by this coming Friday. I hope that's true, because we only have 2 weeks until we have to be out of this apartment!

If any of you are master cleaners and/or painters, we could use your help! We have to clean and paint our new house before moving in. And then we have to super clean this apartment to avoid their ridiculous moving out fees. All the while, me being pregnant, and unable to do most of those things.

 

 As for pregnancy sickness, it seems to be getting better, but still there. I always think it's getting better and then it comes back to bite me in the butt. I really really really REALLY hope it goes away soon, because I hear it comes back with the 3rd trimester. I still haven't felt the baby move yet, but hopefully (I think hopefully) soon. The ultrasound technician said he's kicking me all over and has his head buried in my bladder, so maybe it's a good thing I can't feel him just yet. ;-)

 

5 more months until we get to hold him in our arms!!