Tuesday the 30th

On to more serious thoughts...

For those of you who can't read that:

"The time you invest to deeply understand the people you love brings tremendous dividends in open communication. Many of the problems that plague families and marriages simply won't have time to fester and develop. The communication becomes so open that potential problems can be nipped in the bud."

My parents are divorced, I'm divorced, and because I'm divorced, a lot of people that I know are divorced.

This "Habit for Highly Effective People", I believe, could save marriages.

If you look back on all the relationships you know of, of people that are divorced... I bet communication was one of the top causes in their divorce. I know that when I first got divorced, a good friend of mine was preparing a lesson in Relief Society and she wanted to know my thoughts on "characteristics of successful relationships" and that was the first thing that popped into my head. Communication.

Now, Heaven knows my divorce was caused by much more than miscommunication, but I firmly believe that if we had communicated properly with each other, a lot could have been avoided.

In my relationships with my family, friends, roommates, people at work, and even with Jaymeson, I've noticed the difference in communicating issues and solutions when they come about, instead of letting them fester and blow up days later. It's ALWAYS a good thing, and it's probably saved a lot of my relationships with people.

I'm obviously not a pro at it, but I'm working on it. And I know and value the importance of it.

Just passing along some knowledge... :)

A dyslexic guy walks into a bra...

So I just downloaded an app that allows me to blog on my phone. I think that's amazing. So I'm taking this opportunity to find anything I can write about in my last 1/2 hour of work...


Hence the joke. (And no that is not a typo.)

PS. Don't tell my boss. :-O

Bless the Broken Road.

Thank you to Rascal Flatts for inspiring this next blog post.

Jaymeson and I had the opportunity to go to a Rascal Flatts concert this weekend with some of our friends. (They were amazing, but that's besides the point.) We had a good time, we laughed, we sang, Brandon almost got beat up, and I won a huge beach ball from the radio station. :)

But I think the most important thing I (re)learned this weekend, was that everything happens for a reason.

While Rascal Flatts was singing their famous song "Bless the Broken Road", Brandon snapped this picture of us:

(Its obviously been photoshopped cuz I'm cheesy, ok?)

When I saw this picture, and heard the song, all I could think about was God really did bless my road. I've been hurt. Seriously hurt. By many men, family members, friends, lots of people. But everywhere I've been is exactly where I should have been. And everywhere I'm going has everything to do with the road God blessed me with. Looking back on all the pain, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I used to always tell myself and everyone else that Jon was an answer to my prayers. He magically appeared into my life right after I ended a very long and hurtful relationship. He swooped in and swept me off my feet, and because of him, I easily healed and moved on from that relationship when it otherwise could have been a very long and hard process. When I first got divorced, I spent a lot of time angry at that thought. How and why would God put Jonathan into my life to help me heal from my previous, devasting relationship and then turn around and hurt me worse?

Two reasons:

1. I did need Jonathan to help me heal from that relationship. But also, I believe the heartbreak of that previous relationship helped to prepare me for the hurt that would come from my marriage. Jon helped me heal from that relationship, and in turn he helped me to know how to heal from our relationship.

2. Jonathan led me to Jaymeson. Weird, right? Jaymeson and I know each other through a very twisted, complicated string of people. But without my marriage to Jon, I would never have known Jaymeson. And my broken road, has thus far, lead me to him.

I learned a lot down this long and crooked journey (Whoops, popped into Bachelor mode for a second. When does the next season start anyways?) that I've been on. I learned to love unconditionally, I learned to allow myself to cry (well, almost), I learned to be honest with myself, I learned to trust, I learned to be independent, I learned to give myself completely, and so many other qualities I hope to continue in all of my relationships. But most of all, I learned that God is with me the whole way.

I don't know where Jaymeson and I will go, but I do know that because of him I am a better person. And because of me, he is a better person. We fight and argue and bicker just like every other real relationship, but we also laugh and cry and dance and love together. We teach each other, we help each other, we have learned so much about ourselves and each other and relationships that if we do not end up together, we will be one hundred times more prepared for our "soul mate" (if you believe in those) than we would have been otherwise. We each are in the place that we need to be, and for what ever reason, we need each other now. And I'm grateful that my very broken road led me straight to him.

:)

"It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true."

My New Favorite Song

I live for music.

Jaymeson showed me this song this week and we both have been listening to it nonstop. 

I guess I'll share :)

Enjoy. :)

Wisdom Teeth. From. Hell

I just got my wisdom teeth out. And I will never do it again.

You're probably saying, "Well at least you won't have to...", but that's not true. I have two more.

I've literally spent more time at the dentist this Summer, than I have in my whole life combined. Here's why:

I originally went to get a cavity or two changed from a silver filling to a tooth colored filling. (Which are really cool, because you can't even see them. Thank you Kristi Teshima for showing me the light.) I had to make 2 or 3 visits for those because of insurance coverage issues, but once that was all said and done, I thought "Hmm.. I haven't had my wisdom teeth out yet, so let's take a gander at that." So we did.

Findings were that I have four wisdom teeth, the two on the bottom needed to be taken out ASAP, and the two on the top can wait a while. So I went ahead and scheduled that appointment. The dentist I had been seeing made it seem like it was a piece of cake, they could do it in the office, just with numbing shots and I'd be good to go. Supposedly my wisdom teeth were the easiest they'd seen; triangular, straight roots. Because I have a full time job, I was limited on my options to make an appointment. I ended up making it on Friday, which caused another appointment or two because they normal dentist doesn't work on Fridays, so the other guy who did wanted to check it out.

I went in to see him, and he talked to me about the procedure, said it would be fairly easy, but recommended that I go to an oral surgeon. His exact words were, "If you were my sister, I'd tell you to go to the surgeon." But me, being the penny pincher that I am, decided I'd be fine, I'd just do it at the normal office, save the money, and I'll be fine. So we set up the appointment.

For the next 3-4 weeks, I heard HORROR stories all over the place about getting wisdom teeth out. Seriously, it was like God was like "WAKE UP. It won't be easy. Go to the surgeon." Psh.

So I went to my appointment, terrified. They gave me two shots on each side and my entire body started shaking. I was scared as heck. I'm kind of a wuss when it comes to pain and I had no idea what to expect. I asked if I could put my earphones in and listen to music during the process to take my mind off of what was going on and I did. I listened to a mix that Jaymeson made for me and it kind of helped at first. Then it got hard. They made the incisions, got the teeth loose, and then realized that they roots were going backwards instead of downwards. Doesn't seem like that big of a deal, does it? But apparently, they didn't have the tools to get the teeth out that way. So I ended up with a few more incisions, lots of pain and wiggling, and then finally after an hour or so later.. a stomach full of blood and 3 stitches on each side of my mouth.

I was fine at first. Jessie came and picked me up from the dentist, and took me to Walgreens to get my prescription of Lortab filled, a few redboxes for the weekend, and some soup.

Then she took me home. And I was all alone. I was fine with that at first cuz I was still pretty numbed up, but then the numbing wore off, and the Lortab kicked in on my empty stomach, and I was alone, and in pain, and very emotional. Jaymeson was working late, my roommates were out of town, my family was in Texas, and I was alone.

I eventually got up to switch the gauze and rinse out my mouth, and I immediately got nauseous. It was retarded. I couldn't do anything, I wanted to die. (It seems dramatic, but I promise, it was that bad.) I eventually called Jessie, bawling my eyes out, who came to my rescue like she always does. She watched a movie with me and let me lay in her lap, while she played with my hair until I fell asleep.

Next thing I knew, a handsome man was standing at my feet. I had fallen asleep for an hour or two, Jessie had left, and Jaymeson had finally gotten off work. He helped me gather my things and got me into the car so he could take me to his house so I wouldn't have to be alone for the weekend.

We didn't get very far until I got very nauseous and ended up having to pull over at Big 5, a random gas station, and two or three locations on the side of I-15 so I could throw up... blood. Gross huh? And to make matters worse, there was ridiculous traffic (stopped at midnight at the point of the mountain) for an hour. A 20 minute drive, took us about an hour and a half.

We finally got to Jaymesons, and I fell asleep pretty quickly. The next few days weren't so bad. I had a few visitors, ate lots of soup and pudding, and watched a lot of movies. The healing was slow, but normal for a few days.

And THEN... something crazy happened. All of the sudden, (two weeks later) the right side of my face started swelling, and hardening, and I could hardly open my mouth. After a few days, I went to the dentist and was informed I had an infection. Great. My brother got an infection from his wisdom teeth and he had to have a painful surgery to remove it, and I was scared. I looked like a freak, but I had to go to work like normal and deal with it.

I went to the dentist and was given antibiotics. The swelling and pain got worse of course, before it got better. But here I am, over three weeks later, FINALLY almost completely healed from the worst wisdom teeth experience ever. I woke up this morning with a jaw line, and it was great. I missed my face.

On the bright side though, I have a new best friend; my dentist. His receptionist even told me she loved me today.

So, never get your wisdom teeth out. But if you must, go to an oral surgeon, and DEMAND antibiotic rinses and pills to take home with you.

a singular thought that has occupied my time.

I have this cute little day by day calendar at work. Each day has a different principle that comes straight from the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and each quote comes with a lovely little nature picture. It's pretty cute.

So every day I get to work, and I look forward to what comes next in my journey to becoming "highly effective". I'm all about self-help, ya know.

This little gem is what I came across today:

‎"We all can 'pose' and 'put on' for a stranger or an associate. We can pretend. And for a while we will get by with it -- at least in public. We might even deceive ourselves. Yet I believe that most of us know the truth of what we really are inside; and I think many of those we live with, work with, and closely associate with do as well."

This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. Literally. I've probably wasted a few hours of my life over the past few weeks thinking about this exact thing.

Why do we pretend to be something we're not? Why don't we just be who we are? And if we aren't happy with who we are, why don't we just become something to be proud of, and THEN talk about it, instead of pretending, and then disappointing everyone, including yourself, in the long run?

Sometimes I just want to scream about (AT) people who act this way.

Because of this new-found realization that a lot of people are fake and a lot of us idiots keep falling for it, I've come up with a few things I'm definitely going to think about when considering people I want to associate with, and at the very least, get romantically involved with (You might want to take notes.):

How many times do they go to class/work in a week? How many times to they call in or skip? How many classes have they had to retake?
How much debt do they have? How much money do they have saved?
Are they spenders? (Any time there is money, is it gone as quickly as it came on needless, worthless items they couldn't seem to wait for?)
Do they survive off of their parents? Are they financially and emotionally dependent to them?
Do they pretend to be "big man on campus" when it comes to their job, or have they really gotten fired and/or never stayed with a job for any significant period of time, and never been successful in it?
Do/Did they cheat on significant others in their lifetime?
How often do they go to church? How often are they "too sick" to go to church, or other important obligations in life?
Are they unreliable? Do they follow through with any commitment that they make? Do they give up easily?
Are they unteachable?
How many of their friends are still their friends from 1+ years ago? Or have they seemed to remove themselves from the picture?
Are they overly confident (cocky) in themselves? Do they consider everybody else beneath them?
Are they impossible to communicate with?
Does everything else always seem to be more important than you or things that are important to you?

I probably could go on...

Sad, isn't it? How many people do you know that are like this? Too many. How many of those questions can you answer "yes" to? If it's more than a few, you've probably got issues.

I hate what this world has become.

Geez, I feel like I'm BECOMING a self help book.

The moral of my story is this: You can put up that front for so long, (believe me, I know) but not forever. Someday you'll have a husband or a wife, or a roommate, or even serious girlfriend/boyfriend, maybe even a family member, and you won't be able to hide from them anymore. They'll start to wonder where all the greatness is that you talked up for so long, only to find out it was all a lie. And then you'll run. Run away from all your friends, significant others, to somewhere else where people don't know you, so you can start all over again. The process is never ending. Literally, never ending. Until one sad day, years from now probably, when you've lost everyone and everything you had to your lies and selfishness, you'll realize: Man, it wasn't everyone else. It was me.

So grow up, people. Stop pretending, and start DOING.

This little quote came from some thoughts in my journal while I was going through my divorce, and I stick to it. It's some good stuff.

Everybody has potential. We shouldn't be sitting around waiting, and hoping for someone to start living up to their potential, we should be searching for the ones who already are.


Disclaimer: This post isn't about anybody in particular (Ok, yes it is. But don't think too hard, it's obvious.)

Together Again.

I started this blog post a while back, but never finished it. I noticed it this morning waiting to cook the best dinner in the world for Jaymeson and some friends tonight, and after being hassled by Jessie to write a blog post, I figured I'd finish it. :)

I don't remember where I found this quote, but I remember when I saw it, it really stood out to me.

"We don't know when the people that we love are going to be taken from us, so we should cherish every moment that we have with them."

Death is something that I have no idea about. I have never experienced someone that is close to me dying. Not even grandparents. My dad's dad died when I was pretty young, and my other three grandparents are still alive. I still have my parents, and all six of my siblings. I'm pretty lucky I guess.

I have a few close friends who have had direct family members die and I've watched them overcome the sadness, and they have definitely become a great example to me.

I was joking with Jaymeson last night about me dying while on this roadtrip to San Diego without him. What would he do without me? Really. Ha.

Not that I'm actually going to die any time soon (cross your fingers), but regardless, I'm not afraid of death. I know why I am here, and I know where I'm going and I can't wait to get there. It's going to be so wonderful and beautiful and perfect to be back in Heavenly Father's arms again someday.

The part that really stands out to me though, is this:

"...cherish every moment that we have with them."

Sometimes (always) I get caught up in the business side of myself. I'm a "task master" as my dad calls it. I get things done. And I think sometimes I get caught up in too many tasks and forget to sit back and relax and just have fun. I fill my life up with way too many things. I make lists. I work full time. I go to school full time. I volunteer. I barely ever have a spare second to just sit back and act like a dork. Fortunately for me, Jaymeson is very opposite of me and spends most of his time acting like a dork and it helps to loosen me up a little bit when I get stressed.

Tomorrow morning, Sarah and I are headed out for our best friends wedding in San Diego. I'm excited to share this special moment with Raven and Sarah. It'll be one of the first times we've all been together, just us, since we were in high school. It'll bring back a lot of memories, and form several more.

I'm so happy for Raven, and the opportunity she has to be sealed to her best friend, and the man of her dreams for time and all eternity. I'm so grateful that I will have the chance to be in the temple with her when she receives her own endowments and kneels across the altar to be sealed to Andy forever. Plus, I get to spend a week on the beach in sweet, sweet San Diego. It's gonna be a good week.

M-Unit together again.