Bless the Broken Road.

Thank you to Rascal Flatts for inspiring this next blog post.

Jaymeson and I had the opportunity to go to a Rascal Flatts concert this weekend with some of our friends. (They were amazing, but that's besides the point.) We had a good time, we laughed, we sang, Brandon almost got beat up, and I won a huge beach ball from the radio station. :)

But I think the most important thing I (re)learned this weekend, was that everything happens for a reason.

While Rascal Flatts was singing their famous song "Bless the Broken Road", Brandon snapped this picture of us:

(Its obviously been photoshopped cuz I'm cheesy, ok?)

When I saw this picture, and heard the song, all I could think about was God really did bless my road. I've been hurt. Seriously hurt. By many men, family members, friends, lots of people. But everywhere I've been is exactly where I should have been. And everywhere I'm going has everything to do with the road God blessed me with. Looking back on all the pain, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I used to always tell myself and everyone else that Jon was an answer to my prayers. He magically appeared into my life right after I ended a very long and hurtful relationship. He swooped in and swept me off my feet, and because of him, I easily healed and moved on from that relationship when it otherwise could have been a very long and hard process. When I first got divorced, I spent a lot of time angry at that thought. How and why would God put Jonathan into my life to help me heal from my previous, devasting relationship and then turn around and hurt me worse?

Two reasons:

1. I did need Jonathan to help me heal from that relationship. But also, I believe the heartbreak of that previous relationship helped to prepare me for the hurt that would come from my marriage. Jon helped me heal from that relationship, and in turn he helped me to know how to heal from our relationship.

2. Jonathan led me to Jaymeson. Weird, right? Jaymeson and I know each other through a very twisted, complicated string of people. But without my marriage to Jon, I would never have known Jaymeson. And my broken road, has thus far, lead me to him.

I learned a lot down this long and crooked journey (Whoops, popped into Bachelor mode for a second. When does the next season start anyways?) that I've been on. I learned to love unconditionally, I learned to allow myself to cry (well, almost), I learned to be honest with myself, I learned to trust, I learned to be independent, I learned to give myself completely, and so many other qualities I hope to continue in all of my relationships. But most of all, I learned that God is with me the whole way.

I don't know where Jaymeson and I will go, but I do know that because of him I am a better person. And because of me, he is a better person. We fight and argue and bicker just like every other real relationship, but we also laugh and cry and dance and love together. We teach each other, we help each other, we have learned so much about ourselves and each other and relationships that if we do not end up together, we will be one hundred times more prepared for our "soul mate" (if you believe in those) than we would have been otherwise. We each are in the place that we need to be, and for what ever reason, we need each other now. And I'm grateful that my very broken road led me straight to him.

:)

"It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true."

Wisdom Teeth. From. Hell

I just got my wisdom teeth out. And I will never do it again.

You're probably saying, "Well at least you won't have to...", but that's not true. I have two more.

I've literally spent more time at the dentist this Summer, than I have in my whole life combined. Here's why:

I originally went to get a cavity or two changed from a silver filling to a tooth colored filling. (Which are really cool, because you can't even see them. Thank you Kristi Teshima for showing me the light.) I had to make 2 or 3 visits for those because of insurance coverage issues, but once that was all said and done, I thought "Hmm.. I haven't had my wisdom teeth out yet, so let's take a gander at that." So we did.

Findings were that I have four wisdom teeth, the two on the bottom needed to be taken out ASAP, and the two on the top can wait a while. So I went ahead and scheduled that appointment. The dentist I had been seeing made it seem like it was a piece of cake, they could do it in the office, just with numbing shots and I'd be good to go. Supposedly my wisdom teeth were the easiest they'd seen; triangular, straight roots. Because I have a full time job, I was limited on my options to make an appointment. I ended up making it on Friday, which caused another appointment or two because they normal dentist doesn't work on Fridays, so the other guy who did wanted to check it out.

I went in to see him, and he talked to me about the procedure, said it would be fairly easy, but recommended that I go to an oral surgeon. His exact words were, "If you were my sister, I'd tell you to go to the surgeon." But me, being the penny pincher that I am, decided I'd be fine, I'd just do it at the normal office, save the money, and I'll be fine. So we set up the appointment.

For the next 3-4 weeks, I heard HORROR stories all over the place about getting wisdom teeth out. Seriously, it was like God was like "WAKE UP. It won't be easy. Go to the surgeon." Psh.

So I went to my appointment, terrified. They gave me two shots on each side and my entire body started shaking. I was scared as heck. I'm kind of a wuss when it comes to pain and I had no idea what to expect. I asked if I could put my earphones in and listen to music during the process to take my mind off of what was going on and I did. I listened to a mix that Jaymeson made for me and it kind of helped at first. Then it got hard. They made the incisions, got the teeth loose, and then realized that they roots were going backwards instead of downwards. Doesn't seem like that big of a deal, does it? But apparently, they didn't have the tools to get the teeth out that way. So I ended up with a few more incisions, lots of pain and wiggling, and then finally after an hour or so later.. a stomach full of blood and 3 stitches on each side of my mouth.

I was fine at first. Jessie came and picked me up from the dentist, and took me to Walgreens to get my prescription of Lortab filled, a few redboxes for the weekend, and some soup.

Then she took me home. And I was all alone. I was fine with that at first cuz I was still pretty numbed up, but then the numbing wore off, and the Lortab kicked in on my empty stomach, and I was alone, and in pain, and very emotional. Jaymeson was working late, my roommates were out of town, my family was in Texas, and I was alone.

I eventually got up to switch the gauze and rinse out my mouth, and I immediately got nauseous. It was retarded. I couldn't do anything, I wanted to die. (It seems dramatic, but I promise, it was that bad.) I eventually called Jessie, bawling my eyes out, who came to my rescue like she always does. She watched a movie with me and let me lay in her lap, while she played with my hair until I fell asleep.

Next thing I knew, a handsome man was standing at my feet. I had fallen asleep for an hour or two, Jessie had left, and Jaymeson had finally gotten off work. He helped me gather my things and got me into the car so he could take me to his house so I wouldn't have to be alone for the weekend.

We didn't get very far until I got very nauseous and ended up having to pull over at Big 5, a random gas station, and two or three locations on the side of I-15 so I could throw up... blood. Gross huh? And to make matters worse, there was ridiculous traffic (stopped at midnight at the point of the mountain) for an hour. A 20 minute drive, took us about an hour and a half.

We finally got to Jaymesons, and I fell asleep pretty quickly. The next few days weren't so bad. I had a few visitors, ate lots of soup and pudding, and watched a lot of movies. The healing was slow, but normal for a few days.

And THEN... something crazy happened. All of the sudden, (two weeks later) the right side of my face started swelling, and hardening, and I could hardly open my mouth. After a few days, I went to the dentist and was informed I had an infection. Great. My brother got an infection from his wisdom teeth and he had to have a painful surgery to remove it, and I was scared. I looked like a freak, but I had to go to work like normal and deal with it.

I went to the dentist and was given antibiotics. The swelling and pain got worse of course, before it got better. But here I am, over three weeks later, FINALLY almost completely healed from the worst wisdom teeth experience ever. I woke up this morning with a jaw line, and it was great. I missed my face.

On the bright side though, I have a new best friend; my dentist. His receptionist even told me she loved me today.

So, never get your wisdom teeth out. But if you must, go to an oral surgeon, and DEMAND antibiotic rinses and pills to take home with you.