Ba-da-bop-bop-ba...

Jaymeson, Jayah, and I had sort of an incident recently at McDonalds.

Here's how it went down:

Jaymeson has just moved into his brand new apartment. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, in his kitchen. So before church, we took Jayah to McDonalds for breakfast. We ordered our food, and then Jayah and I went to the bathroom. We did our thing, and on the way out I stopped and said "On hold Jayah, I need to wash my hands." Half a second later, she screams and the door bursts open. I rush around the corner and see blood everywhere, and the tip of her finger is literally hanging off.

I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I sat there for what felt like minutes, holding Jayah's head to the left of me and her hand on my right so she couldn't see anything, and then yelled for Jaymeson. He came over, saw the situation, and very calmly said we needed to go. I, like a zombie, followed him out the door to the car.

Meanwhile, everyone around was freaking out. And one genius McDonalds worker was considerate enough to ask if we needed a bandaid. No thanks, I think we'll go to the hospital.

Jaymeson quickly searched for the nearest hospital while I talked to Jayah and tried to keep her calm. The funny thing is, she was much more concerned about my shirt and whether or not I liked it, then anything that was going on with her hand.

We went to the closest medical facility around the corner and they informed us that they couldn't help. They did however give Jaymeson some gauze and tape and allowed him to wrap Jayah's hand to stop the bleeding. We then went to the Hospital a few exits down, which also happened to be the hospital where Miss Jayah first entered the world three weeks shy of four years ago.

To back up a little bit, there were a few rather crazy things leading up to the situation.

First, that weekend, the topic of most of Jayah's conversations was blood and death. She asked us all day long, if the laundry basket was dead, or if the tv was dead, or if her hair was dead (which, by the way, it is), etc. She even told me herself that as long as something had blood in it, it's alive. Weird.

Second, as Jayah and I were headed to the bathroom on that fateful day, Jaymeson imagined something crazy happening. He said he turned around and saw the man who happened to be the one to push the bathroom door open to free Jayah's hand. He imagined that as we were leaving the bathroom, that man was going to knock jayah out and run off with me. He was in the process of imagining how we would have reacted when he heard jayah cry and me yelling for him. Even weirder, right?

Turns out, Jayah and her poor little finger are going to be fine. She lost the tip of it. They had to shorten it just a little bit, but the doctor said her nail would grow back and it could definitely look mostly normal in time. She was such a big girl! I think we were all proud of how strong and brave she was from the very beginning.

The very next day, I got to spend some time with her and she was pretty normal. Still a little loopy, but also her crazy upbeat self. And one week later she's still going strong! She was even in her very first play this weekend, "Annie Get Your Gun." She was the cutest little towns person and piglet you ever did see. ;)

After this little incident, all of the sudden lots of people were telling me stories of where this exact thing happened to them or someone they know. Apparently it's not an uncommon thing to slice the tip of your finger off! All of them have very normal looking, almost scar free fingers. So that makes me feel better.

For the first couple of days, I received phone calls from some of Jayah's family members, and some of my friends asking how I was doing. For a while I was unsure of why anyone would ask how I was doing, since I didn't lose a finger... but I slowly started to understand when I started having my own little series of nightmares about McDonalds. I think the blood all over my shirt, and the initial sight of it all really got to me. I think about the situation all the time, and every single time I see a McDonalds, I have a small panic attack. I've sworn to myself that I will never step foot in a McDonalds again.

(Side note: Jaymeson and I went back to the very same McDonalds to play out the situation again. There was still blood on the floor and on the bathroom door. 11 hours later... and they had not yet cleaned up the blood. We took pictures of the mess and also videos of the door closing, you know, for future reference. Sad thing is, Jayah probably didn't have a chance. That door was heavy, and although against their regulations, it didn't have a stop on the door to slow it down. Lucky for them, they agreed to pay her medical bills without a fight.)

One sweet friend at work noticed that I was having a hard time and talked to me about it. She told me that she sincerely believes that everything happens for a reason, and that maybe we can't even imagine a reason for it now, but there is one.

I thought about that for a long time. (Very unproductive day at work.) I've come to the conclusion that she's right. This did happen for a reason. Whether it be a small reminder to Jayah that we all have our imperfections and she's still beautiful and perfect to those that matter even without the tip of her finger, or that maybe one or both of us may have one day suffered from obesity as a result of McDonalds. But it did happen, and for a reason. Only time will tell.

I'm grateful to that friend for so sweetly reminding me that accidents happen and that God is in charge. How grateful I am to know and understand the Gospel.

Moral of the story: Don't let your kids out of your sight in any public restroom.

Happy Valentines Day!

Meet the Parents, Part 1

It started on a cold and dreary Wednesday afternoon in Draper, UT. We (I) spent a few hours packing and preparing snacks and lunches for the long 24 hour trek to Houston, TX, while Jaymeson spent a few hours primping, (yes, primping) so he'd look good when he pumped the gas every couple of hours.

After the preparation was complete, we got onto I-15, and started driving south. Twenty-Five minutes into the drive, we missed our exit. Made a short detour, and got on our way.

Okay okay, I won't be that ridiculous about it. :)

Jaymeson and I had seven goals to accomplish on this trip to Texas. One: Eat real Mexican Food. Two: Eat real BBQ. Three: Eat Blue Bell Ice Cream. Four: Wrestle with an alligator. Five: Not get any tickets. Six: See dolphins. And Seven: Spend time on an island.

The drive wasn't too bad. Jaymeson was determined to stay awake the entire time. I drove most of the way there, and he drove most of the way back. We didn't have bad weather either way, which was nice. On the way there, I took Jaymeson on a surprise detour to the Dallas Cowboys Stadium! He was so excited. Jaymeson is the biggest Dallas Cowboys fan you will ever meet. We did a tour around the stadium, and bought a few souveniers, and had a good time making lifelong memories.

Jaymeson's now 2nd favorite Cowboys hat. (I bought him the 1st at the stadium.)

Here is Jaymeson, just working, at the Cowboys Stadium.

After our Dallas detour, we went on to Aggieland! College Station, TX, home of Texas A&M University. Four out of Six of my siblings, plus three spouses, one niece, and one set of grandparents live there. My mom, my littlest brother, and one of my uncles happened to be visiting at the same time as well. We spent the night hanging out with my family, telling embarrassing stories, and being competitive with one another. It was fun! Jaymeson really enjoyed hanging out with my family. Goal number one was accomplished here. (As well as a few other times on this trip...) We went out to dinner with the fam. to Pappasitos! My favorite Mexican restaurant.

Welcome to Aggieland!

The next day was Friday, and also my birthday! My brother and sister in law made a really nice breakfast for me and Jaymeson and we spent the morning with them. Then we went off to have lunch with my mom and my grandpa, where we accomplished goal number two! (and also goal number three) My grandpa took us to his favorite cute little BBQ place. Jaymeson was shocked at how good the BBQ was there, and he has been craving it ever since. We also had Blue Bell vanilla ice cream, which is my favorite, and the best ice cream in the world. It is only available in Utah at Carabbas and Outback Steakhouse, where you can order a 1/2 gallon for $50. ...right. Then my grandpa took us on a tour of the Texas A&M campus and stadium. Jaymeson learned a lot about the Texas A&M traditions and I think he fell just as in love with the school as I am. Maybe someday I'll get to go there. :) Then we headed off to Houston, (Just an hour and a half away) where my dad, one of my little brothers, and my little sister were. (Shannon was also in College Station, she just loves me so much that she followed me to Kingwood :) ) We spent the evening with my dad, going through old pictures and telling stories, and checking out some fun Christmas lights around the city. And then my dad took us to see the new Sherlock Holmes. We went pretty late... and I warned them I would fall asleep, but they didn't believe me. Needless to say, I'll need to see that movie again.

Heaven on Earth

Us at the A&M Stadium

Us at the famous "Santa's Village" in Kingwood

The next morning, we ate breakfast and headed off to Galveston. Which happens to be the place where I was born, and also an island! Check off number six and seven off our list. We walked along the shoreline, toured the city, and then I ate my first real seafood at Joe's Crab Shack on the seawall. It wasn't as bad as I thought either. There is just something about eating food that still looks like its alive that just gets to me. Afterwards, we toured more of the city, including the ship that I was named after (The Elissa), and took a few rides on the ferry. We rode it a few times looking for dolphins, and just as I was getting discouraged about finding some, Jaymeson goes "Watch, right before we get there, we'll see some..." And right as he said that, there they were! Swimming next to the ferry. It was so fun. Jaymeson was so excited to see dolphins, it was so cute! That night was New Years Eve, so we drove down Moody Gardens to see the Festival of Lights. We also toured the "Rainforest Pyramid" and watched a 4D movie. :) It was fun! Then we went up to the Kemah Boardwalk for a firework show. I had never been to the Boardwalk before, so it was kind of fun. Carnivals, and restaurants, and shopping. It was a pretty foggy, and humid night so the fireworks weren't that great, but it was fun to see the reflections of the fireworks on the Gulf.

On the beach

On the ferry

Crab Legs

"Gotta go eat at Joes"

Us at the "Elissa"

Me and my Dad at Moody Gardens

Next day, Jaymeson and I decided to see if we could accomplish our fourth goal: to wrestle with an alligator. We headed off to Lake Houston and scoped the area. Kingwood is a cool little community. It's nicknamed the "Livable Forest" because it is just that... a livable forest. Trees everywhere! There are also fun trails throughout the city called "green belts". We walked along the shore down the side of the greenbelts, and searched for alligator eyes. We saw some snakes, and a bunch of turtles out on the logs, but no alligators. As we were walking along side of the shore, Jaymeson saw "little teeny feet", as he likes to say, swimming underneath the leaves, he reached in and pulled out a BABY turtle. Seriously, it was TINY! It could fit into the palm of a brand new babies hand. He was so excited about it, that we decided to take it home to surprise Jayah. We headed off to a pet store (where we did see baby alligators) and got the right supplies so this little turtle could survive the trip home. That night, we spent time with my dad, visited the Houston Temple, had more real Mexican food, and watched the Dallas game. We headed off late that night, back to Utah.

See that teeny green circle in the middle? That's Rafael.  :)

Me and my Dad at the Houston, TX LDS Temple

Overall, it was a short and simple trip. It was good to see my family, and good for my family to finally meet Jaymeson. Everyone got along really well, and Jaymeson was sad to leave. He even talked in a Texas accent the whole way home. :) We're both excited to go back again sometime this Summer, and bring Jayah with us. Every time I see her, she asks me if it's time to go to Texas yet. Haha!

Here's Jayah, very excited about her turtle! :)

The bad news is, we failed to accomplish goal número cinco: to not get any tickets. Monticello police snuck up on us just after getting gas, and we got a ticket, just a few short hours from home.

Dang.

Trying to find a place in this world.

Jaymeson and I go to a ward that consists of us, Jaymeson's family, and about 90% of the rest of the congregation is getting ready to die.

Literally.

Even in Relief Society, they refer to the group as a whole as "senior citizens". And in Priesthood, everywhere Jaymeson looks there are walkers and oxygen tanks.

Being in this ward has sort of been a challenge for me. I love church. I love feeling the Spirit. I love being surrounded by people who have the same beliefs that I do. I moved around a lot with my family growing up, and I always looked forward to going to church because that was a place where I was guaranteed to make friends. Not in this ward. I'm positive the only other person that is near my age is Jaymeson's sister-in-law, and even that has a few year difference, and her calling is in Young Womens. So, it's just me, sitting in Relief Society, along with a bunch of senior citizens.

Where am I going with this?

It's been hard for me to get excited about church the last few months knowing that I don't have friends there, and practically every Sunday is spent listening to a bunch of old folk debate about what they each think the scriptures say. Luckily I have Jaymeson's mom in there with me, who I love very much. And she's not a senior citizen... yet. ;)

But this Sunday, I learned something very simple, yet very inspiring from the old folk.

Now, I'm the type of person who loves to tell everyone what they learned when they learm it. I will talk and talk and talk about it, until I've convinced myself that I've taught you the same lesson. This is one of those times. I'll try to keep it short. :)

What's the difference between a place, and a space?

Think about it.

The difference is, a place is where something belongs. A space is just where you put something for the time being. When something has a place, we know where it is when we are looking for it. But if it's in a space, sometimes we don't know where to find it. Cool, huh?

This can apply to anything.

So my goal for the rest of my life, is to give everything a place. Especially the important things, like my family, my friends, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, my husband, and my children. (Not in that order.)

Now, time to for my favorite Monday Night Tradition. Unhealthy food, The Bachelor, and my handsome Jaymeson, and his beautiful mother. :)

What I wanna know is...

...how in the world can anyone claim that any sort of physical relationship, with someone besides your spouse, while you are still married, is NOT cheating?

Right?

So, I had a little fall out with my ex today. Lovely. We rarely talk to each other,  and when we do, it is always very cordial, to the point, and then goodbye. Now, this little gem from my past is getting married in a few weeks. One, it has come to my attention that certain members in his family have that strange idea that I want to keep him from getting married. And two, the same certain family members seem to be in denial of a few facts from our marriage.

Someone that I really look up to, who also happens to be a member of that family, told me her story shortly after my divorce. It's very personal, so I will not share. But basically, she was very much wronged by someone very dear to her. She hid it for so long, for fear of what people would think, fear of doing the wrong thing, and fear of hurting someone's feelings. She held it in for so long, that it eventually became unhealthy for her. The wrong-doer eventually passed away, and she finally realized that she did not need to hide the truth any longer. It wasn't that she needed to make sure to shout to the world what really happened, but that she needed to respect herself, her health, and her future relationships by "owning up" to the truth. She told me her story so that I would know that someday, I would be there too.

There's something about owning up to the truth with yourself, and with others, that is healing. And after this little falling out, that's where I am today.

I have said it before, and I'll say it again. I do not agree with divorce, in almost any circumstance. But in mine and my ex's case, I do. That was a hostile marriage. It was unhealthy, and unhappy, and going to take more effort than it's worth to make it work. We both could have done things differently, but ultimately it was his decision to get divorced, and despite all of my efforts, there was nothing I could do to change that. I believe that he expected marriage to be something very different than it is, he expected things from me that are not realistic, and he didn't expect to have to share his life with someone else, or to have anyone to be accountable to. To be frank, he was not ready to be married. He longed for the single life, and he managed to find a way to experience it although, we were still married. A decision had been made, the papers were signed (or soon to be signed), but we were still married. (FYI: A marriage is not a marriage when you sign the marriage license. It is a marriage when you sign the marriage certificate. Then, and only then, is it legal. Same with divorce. A divorce is not final once the motion is filed. (Although some people like to use that as an excuse.) A divorce is final once it has been signed by the judge. Then, and only then, is it legal. Take that up with God if you have any questions.)

With that being said, my divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I went through Hell and back, and recovery was hard. But I made it through quickly, and I have been so grateful to not be married to that man since. There have been times where it has been hard. Not because I wanted to be with him again, but because it's hard to go from being married to being single all because of one piece of paper, within a matter of minutes. But overall, all of that pain was worth it.

He is getting married very soon, and I couldn't be happier for him. I don't know who he is now, or if he is ready for marriage this time, but that's not my concern. Sometimes I hope that poor girl that he met online is smarter than I was, or that things will be different for them. But I really do not care either way. If they make it work--great! If they don't--well... great! It does not matter to me. Believe me, if it did, you all would know about it. I am in a very happy relationship with someone I never would have found if it weren't for Jon, and I am grateful for Jon for that. But I wouldn't have things any other way. So...congratulations to both of them!

Maybe Zac Brown could tell it a little better?

Does that resolve anyone's concerns?

In 2 days, it will be one year from mine and Jaymeson's 2nd first date. In about 2 weeks, it will be one year from our first kiss. And I am so happy! Jaymeson and I have been through so much together. We both came out of very hostile, unhealthy, and unhappy marriages, and we found each other. We were friends, helping each other heal for about 6 months, and then it just clicked. Out of nowhere, we couldn't get enough of each other, and then we started dating. And that's the way I've always wanted it. We started out as friends--best friends. And that developed into a strong and successful relationship. We are celebrating his 26th birthday this Friday, as well as the anniversary of our 2nd first date, and I am so excited!

If there is still any doubt about the way that I feel, feel free to direct yourself to my pictures. You will never see either me, or Jaymeson happier, than you do in those pictures.

Speaking of Zac Brown... his concert is next weekend! Woot!

Thankfulness

With all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, and the busy-ness of everything that is life... I kinda missed the whole Spirit of Thanksgiving this year. And then it was slowly creeping up on Christmas, and I got a little worried. I definitely didn't want to miss the whole spirit of Christmas as well. So I stopped to slow down and think about all the things that I am grateful for. It didn't take long to come up with a pretty significant list. Here are just a few of them:

A job: I have a pretty sweet job. I work at a law office for people who are disabled. I help them to receive the help that they need to get anywhere in their lives. Most of the time it's pretty fulfilling. And since this is a positive, thankfulness post, I'm leaving it at that. I get paid great, I have a great boss, and wonderful coworkers, and it's pretty flexible with all the craziness that is my life. It's definitely a blessing to have a job at all, but especially to be a college student with the job that I have is truly a blessing.

An education: I hate school. I really do. But I am so grateful that I can afford an education. I am grateful that I am in the process of getting a University education, that teaches me to specialize in something that I love. I'm grateful for the teachers that take their time to work with me (and the craziness that is my life), and I am grateful for a program that allows me to do what means the most to me... which brings me to...

A major: Behavioral Science, or more specifically, Social Work. I am so grateful to be lucky enough to find something that I love and that satisfies me, and also something that helps me to better the world. Social workers don't get paid very much, but we have one of the most important jobs in the world. I get to help people heal. It's not easy, but it's so, so worth it. It also comes with some pretty flexible hours, and the ability to work from home for the one day when I have little kiddos at home to raise.

A family: Although my family is oh so far away, I am grateful that I have them. I never had a close relationship with any in my family really, until after my divorce. And then suddenly, I understood and appreciated all of them so much more. I have two parents that love me and want what's best for me, and take the time to teach me every time that I speak with them. Two sisters that love me and allowed me to steal make up and clothing from them all throughout my life, who also taught me to love and cherish what is important to me. Four brothers that love me, and pushed me around so that I could become the tough little chica that I am today, who also taught me to accept and appreciate the things that I have. And one neice, who is perfect in every way. My family also consists of grandparents, and cousins, and aunts, and uncles, and each of them have taught me something very special of their own.

A Jaymeson: This man is incredible. He is kind, and loving, and smart, and happy, and down to earth, and he has really changed me. I'm still me, but I'm a better version of me, because of him. Jaymeson and I have had an incredible journey to get where we are today. Full of ups and way too many downs, that have led us to something perfect. I never would have imagined I would be here with him one year later, but I am so grateful that I am. He is thoughtful, and sincere, and genuine, and he loves me, despite ALL of my flaws. And he loves my family. That means the world to me.

A Jayah: A perfect little three year old (going on 16) that I get to spend a significant amount of time with. I am grateful that she is so loving and so accepting of my many flaws. I am grateful that she is so snuggly, and always seems to know when I need it the most. I am grateful that she is so smart, and always wanting to learn more. I am grateful that she is always eager to help in every way that she can. I am grateful that she is Jaymeson's and that she will get to be a part of my life forever.

A friend: I have more than just "a" friend, but the whole "A" thing seems to be a theme here. Since my separation and divorce, I have met many incredible people. All of which have inspired me to be the girl that I was meant to be. I don't get to see my friends very often, but I know that they are there, and that they support me and love me, and only want to see me happy.

A church: I love my church. I am so grateful to have something to believe in. Something to worship, and that inspires me to be a better person. I am grateful for Prophets that lead me and guide me in what's right. I am grateful for Temples, and the healing qualities that they hold. I am grateful for the gospel, and for my testimony, and for the testimonies of those around me that strengthen me. I am grateful for God, for allowing His son, Jesus Christ, to die for me, so that I may have the chance to live. I am grateful for the Holy Ghost that has been given to me to help me to make the right choices. And I am grateful that I was given the gift of repentence for those times that I don't. I couldn't imagine a life without the Gospel, but I am so, so grateful that I don't have to.

My list consisted of several others things, but to cause you the boredom, I won't continue. Christmas came and went, and it was perfect. This year was Jaymeson's year with Jayah, and we got to plan the most perfect Christmas for her. I never knew how much fun it could be to plan Christmas for a child. And this Christmas was definitely all about Jayah.

Right after Thanksgiving, Jaymeson and I put together a tree to surprise Jayah with the next time she came over. We didn't have a star at first, but soon after we went out a got a beautiful, bright, silver star, and also some stockings, and other decorations to get into the Christmas spirit.

Jaymeson and I spent weeks finding all the perfect gifts to get Jayah for Christmas. We got her pajamas, and a robe, and slippers, and clothing, and church clothing, and a tea set, and a tinkerbell journey with keys, and all sorts of other things that she would be excited about. (Next time I'll remember to be more like my mom and keep track of what we got, and which gift is wrapped which way. But I do have to admit, it was kind of a fun surprise to see what we bought her on Christmas morning.) We (well, Jaymeson) wrapped everything up beautifully and hid it under his bed for the time being. That didn't last very long, because Jayah got some sneakiness from her daddy and quickly found ways to sneak into her presents. Needless to say, coal was threatened, and then they were moved. ;) 

Jayah and I even got to go shopping for Jaymeson. I asked Jayah what she wanted to get Jaymeson for Christmas, and all she wanted to get him was make up, and barbies, and nail polish, and a GUITAR. She wasn't going to stop until we got her dad that black guitar that he wanted, just like on her t-shirt. I eventually had to tell her that MeeMa already got him a black guitar so that she could focus on a more realistic gift for him. BAD IDEA. She tried so hard to keep it a secret, but Jaymeson tricked it out of her. Jayah and I were determined to find something else for him that would be a surprise. But.. apparently she's not a huge fan of Christmas shopping because she fell asleep in the cart and slept for 3 hours! We eventually got him a Gingerbread house kit so that they could make it together. We practiced and practiced keeping it a secret, but when we went grocery shopping the next day, we walked past the Gingerbread houses and she yelled "Dad, that's what we got you!" Fail. Maybe when she's older. ;)

On Christmas Eve, the three of us watched all of the Christmas Classics. Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Santa Clause, and The Little Drummer Boy. Then Jayah and I made cookies for Santa. She was so worried about getting them done perfectly, and that there were enough for Santa (and still enough for her to have later). It was fun. Then we set out the cookies and the milk for when he came that night. After the cookies were ready, the three of us sat down to tell the true story of Christmas. Jaymeson and I read to Jayah from Matthew in the Bible, and talked about the significance of giving gifts on Christmas day, and the star on top of the tree, and why Jesus was born in a manger. And then we each got to open one gift. Pajamas. Just like my mom used to do. We taught Jayah to be grateful for a warm bed to sleep in, and warm pajamas, and loving parents who provide for her. It may have been a little much for a three year old, but I think it will be a lesson she will always remember.

 

Then we went over to Jaymeson's family's home. Every year for Christmas, Jaymeson's mom hosts a sleepover. All the siblings, spouses, and kids come over and watch movies, and sleep over, and making treats for Christmas Day. This year was kind of crazy, and all of us were running a little late, but it was still so much fun. Jill and I stayed up pretty much all night putting everything together for Christmas morning. Jayah even got to talk to Santa Clause, and we even heard the bells from Santa's reindeer during the night. It was so much fun!

We woke up at 5 the next morning to open presents. It was so much fun to see Jayah and Jaxen getting so excited about all of their little gifts. We each opened presents one by one, and it was so exciting! Jaymeson got the guitar he has been wanting for years, and I got him front row and center tickets to his favorite band--Zac Brown. He was very excited! Jayah and both of Jaymeson's brothers also got guitars. Look out world, here comes ROUSH! Jayah got a big barbie dollhouse, along with other fun things. And I got, well, spoiled. Jaymeson definitely out-did himself. I'm not even going to write down all the things that he got me because I feel bad that he spent so much time and money on spoiling me. But I guess I deserve it because I always spoil him. ;)

After family Christmas time, Jaymeson and I took Jayah back home for our own little Christmas. Jayah got to open more gifts, and have her stocking, and I got spoiled even more by Jaymeson. After opening gifts, Jaymeson set up Jayah's dollhouse, while she raiding her toys, and I crashed on the couch.

Everything was perfect. Incredible even. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas. I am so grateful for every moment about that weekend, and hope that every year gets to be just as magical.

Coming up: Meet the Parents, Part 1.

They call it love.

We are all a little weird

and life's a little weird

and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours

we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness

and call it love.

-Dr. Seuss