What I wanna know is...

...how in the world can anyone claim that any sort of physical relationship, with someone besides your spouse, while you are still married, is NOT cheating?

Right?

So, I had a little fall out with my ex today. Lovely. We rarely talk to each other,  and when we do, it is always very cordial, to the point, and then goodbye. Now, this little gem from my past is getting married in a few weeks. One, it has come to my attention that certain members in his family have that strange idea that I want to keep him from getting married. And two, the same certain family members seem to be in denial of a few facts from our marriage.

Someone that I really look up to, who also happens to be a member of that family, told me her story shortly after my divorce. It's very personal, so I will not share. But basically, she was very much wronged by someone very dear to her. She hid it for so long, for fear of what people would think, fear of doing the wrong thing, and fear of hurting someone's feelings. She held it in for so long, that it eventually became unhealthy for her. The wrong-doer eventually passed away, and she finally realized that she did not need to hide the truth any longer. It wasn't that she needed to make sure to shout to the world what really happened, but that she needed to respect herself, her health, and her future relationships by "owning up" to the truth. She told me her story so that I would know that someday, I would be there too.

There's something about owning up to the truth with yourself, and with others, that is healing. And after this little falling out, that's where I am today.

I have said it before, and I'll say it again. I do not agree with divorce, in almost any circumstance. But in mine and my ex's case, I do. That was a hostile marriage. It was unhealthy, and unhappy, and going to take more effort than it's worth to make it work. We both could have done things differently, but ultimately it was his decision to get divorced, and despite all of my efforts, there was nothing I could do to change that. I believe that he expected marriage to be something very different than it is, he expected things from me that are not realistic, and he didn't expect to have to share his life with someone else, or to have anyone to be accountable to. To be frank, he was not ready to be married. He longed for the single life, and he managed to find a way to experience it although, we were still married. A decision had been made, the papers were signed (or soon to be signed), but we were still married. (FYI: A marriage is not a marriage when you sign the marriage license. It is a marriage when you sign the marriage certificate. Then, and only then, is it legal. Same with divorce. A divorce is not final once the motion is filed. (Although some people like to use that as an excuse.) A divorce is final once it has been signed by the judge. Then, and only then, is it legal. Take that up with God if you have any questions.)

With that being said, my divorce was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. I went through Hell and back, and recovery was hard. But I made it through quickly, and I have been so grateful to not be married to that man since. There have been times where it has been hard. Not because I wanted to be with him again, but because it's hard to go from being married to being single all because of one piece of paper, within a matter of minutes. But overall, all of that pain was worth it.

He is getting married very soon, and I couldn't be happier for him. I don't know who he is now, or if he is ready for marriage this time, but that's not my concern. Sometimes I hope that poor girl that he met online is smarter than I was, or that things will be different for them. But I really do not care either way. If they make it work--great! If they don't--well... great! It does not matter to me. Believe me, if it did, you all would know about it. I am in a very happy relationship with someone I never would have found if it weren't for Jon, and I am grateful for Jon for that. But I wouldn't have things any other way. So...congratulations to both of them!

Maybe Zac Brown could tell it a little better?

Does that resolve anyone's concerns?

In 2 days, it will be one year from mine and Jaymeson's 2nd first date. In about 2 weeks, it will be one year from our first kiss. And I am so happy! Jaymeson and I have been through so much together. We both came out of very hostile, unhealthy, and unhappy marriages, and we found each other. We were friends, helping each other heal for about 6 months, and then it just clicked. Out of nowhere, we couldn't get enough of each other, and then we started dating. And that's the way I've always wanted it. We started out as friends--best friends. And that developed into a strong and successful relationship. We are celebrating his 26th birthday this Friday, as well as the anniversary of our 2nd first date, and I am so excited!

If there is still any doubt about the way that I feel, feel free to direct yourself to my pictures. You will never see either me, or Jaymeson happier, than you do in those pictures.

Speaking of Zac Brown... his concert is next weekend! Woot!