a singular thought that has occupied my time.

I have this cute little day by day calendar at work. Each day has a different principle that comes straight from the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and each quote comes with a lovely little nature picture. It's pretty cute.

So every day I get to work, and I look forward to what comes next in my journey to becoming "highly effective". I'm all about self-help, ya know.

This little gem is what I came across today:

‎"We all can 'pose' and 'put on' for a stranger or an associate. We can pretend. And for a while we will get by with it -- at least in public. We might even deceive ourselves. Yet I believe that most of us know the truth of what we really are inside; and I think many of those we live with, work with, and closely associate with do as well."

This is something I have been thinking about a lot lately. Literally. I've probably wasted a few hours of my life over the past few weeks thinking about this exact thing.

Why do we pretend to be something we're not? Why don't we just be who we are? And if we aren't happy with who we are, why don't we just become something to be proud of, and THEN talk about it, instead of pretending, and then disappointing everyone, including yourself, in the long run?

Sometimes I just want to scream about (AT) people who act this way.

Because of this new-found realization that a lot of people are fake and a lot of us idiots keep falling for it, I've come up with a few things I'm definitely going to think about when considering people I want to associate with, and at the very least, get romantically involved with (You might want to take notes.):

How many times do they go to class/work in a week? How many times to they call in or skip? How many classes have they had to retake?
How much debt do they have? How much money do they have saved?
Are they spenders? (Any time there is money, is it gone as quickly as it came on needless, worthless items they couldn't seem to wait for?)
Do they survive off of their parents? Are they financially and emotionally dependent to them?
Do they pretend to be "big man on campus" when it comes to their job, or have they really gotten fired and/or never stayed with a job for any significant period of time, and never been successful in it?
Do/Did they cheat on significant others in their lifetime?
How often do they go to church? How often are they "too sick" to go to church, or other important obligations in life?
Are they unreliable? Do they follow through with any commitment that they make? Do they give up easily?
Are they unteachable?
How many of their friends are still their friends from 1+ years ago? Or have they seemed to remove themselves from the picture?
Are they overly confident (cocky) in themselves? Do they consider everybody else beneath them?
Are they impossible to communicate with?
Does everything else always seem to be more important than you or things that are important to you?

I probably could go on...

Sad, isn't it? How many people do you know that are like this? Too many. How many of those questions can you answer "yes" to? If it's more than a few, you've probably got issues.

I hate what this world has become.

Geez, I feel like I'm BECOMING a self help book.

The moral of my story is this: You can put up that front for so long, (believe me, I know) but not forever. Someday you'll have a husband or a wife, or a roommate, or even serious girlfriend/boyfriend, maybe even a family member, and you won't be able to hide from them anymore. They'll start to wonder where all the greatness is that you talked up for so long, only to find out it was all a lie. And then you'll run. Run away from all your friends, significant others, to somewhere else where people don't know you, so you can start all over again. The process is never ending. Literally, never ending. Until one sad day, years from now probably, when you've lost everyone and everything you had to your lies and selfishness, you'll realize: Man, it wasn't everyone else. It was me.

So grow up, people. Stop pretending, and start DOING.

This little quote came from some thoughts in my journal while I was going through my divorce, and I stick to it. It's some good stuff.

Everybody has potential. We shouldn't be sitting around waiting, and hoping for someone to start living up to their potential, we should be searching for the ones who already are.


Disclaimer: This post isn't about anybody in particular (Ok, yes it is. But don't think too hard, it's obvious.)