Are you an evil step mother?

Right before Jayah started Preschool, her dad and I got married. I had already been a part of her life for almost 2 years, but never officially had the title of "step-mother".

I remember the first time I picked her up from Preschool, she introduced me to all of her little friends as Heather. Then someone asked, "Is that your mom?" And she said "She's my step-mom." Then one little girl said, "Are you an evil step-mother?"

Not even a week after I became a step-mom, I was already thrown into the "evil step-mother" category. It made me kind of sad! Luckily for me, the "evil step-mother" persona has never been an issue for me. Jayah is the most loving and accepting little girl you could ever imagine. She has never been hateful to me, she has never been mean to me, and she has never said "you're not my mom so you can't tell me what to do." I have been so blessed.

Although Jayah has been (mostly) easy, being a step mom hasn't always. Her mom and I butt heads sometimes, and it's hard having a child come into my home half the time who I don't have any control over what she is exposed to the other half of the time. I became a member of several different Step-Mom Support Groups. I never post to them, but I enjoy reading what other things stepmothers are experiencing.

With the release of the Cinderella movie came a lot of talk about evil step-mothers. Step-moms speaking out about their insecurities about the movie, and not wanting their step-children to see it for fear of inviting the evil step-mom persona into their lives. Jayah's mom invited me to go see Cinderella with her and Jayah. At first I didn't think much of it, but once I started seeing these posts, I kind of got a little worried. Did she invite me because she wants Jayah to associate me with Cinderella's step-mom? Is Jayah going to associate me with the evil step-mom once she sees it? Does she ALREADY feel that way?

So, we went to see the movie together. Jayah sat in between us, we had popcorn, Jayah spilled her (very large) sprite all over the floor, and it was fun! At the end of the movie, Jayah's mom said something about how mean Cinderella's step-mother was and how blessed Jayah is that I am not like that. Then Jayah said, "You're not an evil step-mom, you're the BEST step-mom, and I love you so much!" and danced with me all the way out to the car.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I never asked to be a step-mom. It was never in my plans. But being a step-mom has been one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and it's all because of Jayah! I am so blessed.