So, I want to hear from you mommies...
Why did you choose to breastfeed? And specifically, you mommies that chose not to breastfeed, what helped you to make that decision?
What was your method of child birth? Were you at the hospital? Did you do at home birth? Did you choose the bathtub approach? And why? Are there other options?
What are the pros and cons to epidurals? Is it worth it to try (key word) doing it naturally? Are there really any risks to the epidural?
Hopefully this discussion can help me to feel more comfortable, and confident in the decisions I make about this pregnancy. I'm still learning so much, and I feel like I'll never know everything I need to know in time. It's all so overwhelming to think about! And I still have 200 more days!
Side Note:
Check out this HILARIOUS Week by Week Pregnancy Blog my friend introduced me too. Even if you aren't currently pregnant, if you have ever been pregnant, or someday want to be pregnant, it's pretty funny.
Warning Heather--you have just opened a can of worms! :)
ReplyDeleteI chose to breastfeed because it's (usually) the healthiest option for infants. Breast milk supplies natural antibodies to help your baby's immune system. This can be extra important if you have a baby during the nasty RSV season! (Though, it's not perfect--Beez's baby is 100% breastfed and she still got RSV). I breastfed all my babies as long as I could--Jr went 9 months, D made it 8 months, and AJ was weaned at 4 months (AJ wasn't gaining sufficient weight, so I had to start supplementing formula. When I pumped to try and keep my supply going, I realized that my "milk" was more like water. Clearly, he wasn't getting enough calories, so he is exclusively formula-fed now). Warning: breastfeeding is hard!! Don't give up just because it's hard, because it's also incredibly worth it!
All three of my babies were born in hospitals with OB-GYNs. Jr was done that way because we didn't really know any better. I thought midwives were still stuck in the pioneer days, and the lack of education creeped me out. We wanted to be safe, so we went to the hospital. But, I loved my OB, so that wasn't a sacrifice. When I couldn't go back to my OB with my 2nd (he no longer accepted my insurance), I found another OB (because, again, that's what you do--have doctors, birth in hospitals, etc.). I wasn't thrilled with my experience, so I started shopping around after that. I researched home births, birthing centers, midwives, and all that. I started to LOVE the idea of having a midwife and birthing at a birthing center (I couldn't quite bear the thought of birthing at home; though, granted, we live 45 minutes from a hospital, and that's a LONG way if your baby has a problem and needs immediate medical care). However, I couldn't convince the hubby. He was terrified that something would happen to me and/or the baby, and just wasn't comfortable with a midwife or a non-hospital birth. So, baby #3 was also born in a hospital with an OB (thankfully, I was able to go back to OB #1 so it was a win-win for both of us). Given my choice, I'd prefer to deliver in a birthing center that offers water births. I've heard great things about them, and I'd love to try it out. Unfortuantely (and to the best of my knowledge) no hospitals in Utah allow water births at this time, and no OB will deliver outside of a hospital. So, you either choose hospitals and OBs, or midwives and birthing centers or home birth. (Also, please note that not all midwives are the same! Utah does have a licensing procedure for midwives, and my research told me that licensed midwives attend births in birthing centers and unlicensed midwives attend home births. Perhaps that's changed in the last two years, but personally I was really uneasy about having a midwife who had not had to "prove" himself or herself and his/her knowledge or abilities as a midwife. But, on the other hand, I know LOTS of people who have had home births and swear by it and by their midwives.)
Sandy, are you still planning on having more babies? My sister in law read on the IMC website that they will do water births if requested. And my friend works at St. Marks and she said they do water births there as well. Maybe you can try it!
DeleteYes, I am, so that's great news!! Thanks!
DeleteDisclaimer: I have not had an epidural. I am not opposed to the idea--I simply am terrified of needles and have heard one too many horror stories. As far as I know, the epidural itself is safe. However, the person putting the epidural in is human and likely to make mistakes. Two examples: my sister-in-law had 4 epidurals. The first three were fine. On her fourth, she knew something was wrong (she'd had them before after all) and tried telling the nurses something was wrong but they wouldn't listen. Finally, they discovered that it had been inserted wrong and she was leaking spinal fluid. Bad news. Second, a friend in my old ward had an epidural with her first pregnancy. The doctor kept missing or something; he ended up poking her a bunch of times before getting it in, and caused nerve damage in her spine. She now has nearly constant pain in her back and can never have another epidural. I don't want to freak you out, because I'm sure problems like these are incredibly rare. However, anyone who promises that there are absolutely no cons or no problems with epidurals is misinformed.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I love not having epidurals. Yes, it hurts, and labor can be uncomfortable or downright painful. But, I can get up and pee right after my babies are born. I can feel my legs at all times. It's a HUGE high after it's done ("whoa, I just pushed that thing out without pain killers!") (and, not that this should be a reason, but people are in awe of you for being able to do it). :) And, for me, it's how I want to birth, so birthing becomes an amazing experience. I didn't have any pain killers at all with my 3rd delivery (I had IV pain killers with my first two), and the third was by far the best experience.
"Is it worth it to try (key word) doing it naturally?"--This is a hard question. Having not had one, I would say no if you don't have any intention of delivering naturally. I think they encourage you to wait until you're at a certain point before you get the epidural. And, on a related note, if you want an epidural and wait too long, you can't get it and then you're being forced into a type of labor you didn't want and weren't prepared for. However, I'm all for unmedicated birth, and if you really want to try to go the whole way without getting an epidural, go for it! But it really ought to be a decision you've thought out well in advance and talked over with Jaymeson because I can pretty much guarantee that if you try to go unmedicated there will be a point that you'll be ready to kill anyone who denies you the epidural (I did actually ask for it with my last two, but I was already too far dilated to be given anything--thank goodness, because by that point it was less than an hour that my babies were born, and I would have kicked myself for changing my plans because of a measly hour).
Kudos to you for asking for advice. Ultimately, these decisions are up to you (and, to a degree, Jaymeson), so don't let anyone else convince you that's there a right way or a wrong way to have a baby. As long as what you are doing isn't putting your baby in harm's way, you make the decision and don't apologize to anyone else.
By the way, should you choose to deliver in a hospital, ask your doctor lots of questions about what you can and can do. I found out after my third that I CAN get out of having an IV inserted when I'm first admitted. They insisted it was hospital policy that all laboring mothers get IVs in case they need to put in pain killers or pitocin, but I found out after the fact that I could have signed a waiver and not gotten it. Dang. I had that stupid, itchy, uncomfortable IV shoved into my hand for no reason (I never needed it). Don't let them force you into taking any medicine, shots, pitocin, etc. without you understanding exactly why it's medically necessary. And, ideally, find a doctor/midwife who is on the same wavelength with exactly how much medical intervention you do or don't want.
Did you feel like the IV pain killers helped at all? I like the idea of being able to walk around and feel my legs (I also heard it makes labor go more quickly if you do it naturally) but I know I am a baby and it will be hard. I mentioned to Jaymeson this morning that I was considering doing a natural birth and he quickly informed me that he would not be there then. (Of course he is joking, he just knows I will be out of control without the pain killers.) haha
DeleteYes, they did help. They took the edge off the pain, moving it from intolerable to tolerable. Jr's labor was rather fast, esp for a first baby (maybe 8 hours overall, but I only knew I was in labor for 3--I was dilated to 5 cm when I got to the hospital, and was at 10 cm 1.5 hours later). I've heard that faster labors are more painful. Dallas was induced, which is also more painful. AJ's labor was about 8 hours in the hospital, so that may be why I was able to do it all natural. So, all three of my labors have been a little different, but after this last one I am a huge fan of going all natural. But, my labors aren't too long, my babies don't get stuck, I haven't had c-sections....there are just so many factors. If you want to labor naturally, you and Jaymeson should have a plan for how to decide when and if to have pain meds. Otherwise, you will immediately want an epidural as soon as you realize you're in labor. :)
DeleteSo this is just my opinion and feelings, take them as you wish but know I don’t know everything. Ultimately, I would suggest praying with your husband and making decisions together since he will be there the entire way. (Sorry for the novel, I am willing to help if you need to talk but I don’t know it all, promise) :)
ReplyDeleteI love breastfeeding! I don’t always love it at 3am when I am exhausted but I would much rather be breastfeeding than formula feeding (again, my opinion). The baby will get so many more nutrients from the breast milk. It is also the most wonderful time spent with just you and the baby, such a bond is formed and it is awesome! Something I learned recently too is that if you are sick and you are breastfeeding, some antibodies are in your milk to help protect your baby from catching the illness you have which is a wonderful benefit. Will nursing hurt? Yes. Does it get better? Yes. Will you be able to do it how doctors recommend (until the baby is 1)? Maybe. Lexi stopped at 9 months and I don’t know how long Chelsea will go but there is nothing wrong with how long you can or choose to nurse. I know people that just physically cannot produce the milk to nurse. I know people who could only do it a few weeks or a few months. There is not right amount of time. It is up to you and your body and the baby.
I was at the hospital for my births. I have a weird situation but am glad that I had a doctor who was able to perform surgery when it was necessary and one that also supported me in my decision to have a vaginal birth for my second baby. I tried to labor at home as long as possible to make it more comfortable but am total grateful for modern day medicine and facilities. I had an emergency c-section the first time which didn’t give me much option for birth plan but I am so glad it happened the way it did because my baby might not have survived if I was stubborn. For the second, I did have an epidural after 12 hours of labor and when my progression stopped (I have a weird case so I didn’t have much option here). After the epidural though, my body went to work and I had a baby 3 ½ hours later so I am grateful it went the way it did. It was not my first choice to do it that way, but I did what I felt was best for me physically and for my baby.
There are risks to EVERYTHING in this life. Simply carrying a child is a risk and interfering medically with your body (epidural) will always have risks. I think you just need to figure out what you think you can handle and discuss with your doctor. If you want to go naturally (my sister did with her 3 and my mom did with 5), then make sure your doctor knows and if they won’t support it, find a new doctor now. Make sure you trust your doctor and be open to the idea that it might not go how you wish (like with my emergency c-section) and do what is best for you and your baby and everything will be fine. Have faith, your Heavenly Father will be there to help.
Right on Beez! :)
DeleteIf you wait too long to get an epidural, then you can't have one. So get one and get it early. Breast feeding can lead to all sorts of complications that you wouldn't have risks for otherwise but there isn't any real negative to using formula.
ReplyDeleteIf you want some interesting insight into natural birth, watch The Business of Being Born. It's on netflix. It is definitely biased towards midwives and natural birth, but it brought up some issues I've never thought of before.
ReplyDelete**Contrary to popular belief you can basically have an epidural at any point as long as you can sit still long enough to put the needle in. Epidurals have changed since our mothers had kids. The anesthesiologist will be annoyed, but it can still be done.
ReplyDeleteI wrote about my views on going natural and in a hospital here. (To sum up, two thumbs up for both of them with a few caveats) http://apartmentmaking.blogspot.com/2012/10/dinobabys-no-epidural-birth.html
**Breastfeeding
Make whatever decision you think is best on breastfeeding for the long run, but I'd still breastfeed for the first few weeks because it helps you heal faster and lose more weight (not that it should matter, but, you know...it does) And the first few days of breastmilk are the best way to build an immune system for your baby. But every baby is different, some babies get the hang of it the first go round, others can't figure it out. For me it was super easy, for my sister in law it was awful. So take everyone's advice with a grain of salt and do what you need to.
I'm not sure what JD is referring to--Breastmilk is usually the best option for babies unless the mother is carrying HIV (which I'm sure isn't a problem for you). It *can* transfer toxins if you're drinking bad water (But that shouldn't be a problem). And there are drawbacks to formula too-- more likely to harbor dangerous bacteria like cronobacter. Formula is also linked to higher incidence of childhood obesity and lactose and/or soy sensitivities.
I read your blog, thank you! Who are you though? I can't find your name anywhere! haha
DeleteIt's crazy how many people comment on things like this.
ReplyDeleteCloie: I was young and was my first so I did not know much. I never liked my ob. When I went into labor I did not know I was. It just felt like cramps. Later that night it got bad. I clung to my pillow and jus cried. I did not go to any classes so I did not relax like your supposed to. I get to the hospital and they are like 5 mins apart. I got to my room around 10:30 and I tried to stay wrong but when they tell you it's painful it really is. I got an epidural at 12:20 I remember because my mom went and got my sister. They give you a pillow and you lean over it and they set up everything and then they wait for a contraction. I did not feel what they were doing I was in to much pain. After that the let you push a button if you feel any pain. I was scared so I pushed it a little to much. I did not feel my legs at all. But I was in labor for 28 plus hours so like 8 hours before it was time the epidural ran out. Oh and they gave me medicine that helps you have contraction so that it will go faster. It was the worst pain I have ever been through. Long story short I had to have a c section because the ob I had. So my advise is like your doctor. If you don't then find a new one. I did not know I could. Also if you do get an epidural don't push the button to much. Lol breastfeeding fir a new mom is hard. Clo would not latch on the right way so I asked for a nurse to help. She gave me a tube of formula and tried to get clo interested in my blobs. But I did it for 3 month's. A lot of emotional stuff happened and it was easier to give her a bottle.
Kell: parker and I wanted to get a mid wife. So we found one that ours insurance took and she was so weird I went with her for 3 months and then I got a job and my insurance changed and she did not take it. Oh also I knew with Kell that I wanted a girl doctor cloies was a man. Anyways I found a new lady that I love Andrea smith is amazing. I was also working at the hospital she was at. Kell Swanson much easier. We were going to try and do a vag birth because I had a c section but I really liked that Andrea is one of the top doctors that does c sections. Cloies birth was not a good experience. I also liked that I did not have to wait tell my due date I got to go two weeks before and I got to choose what day. I had an epidural with Kell to and this time I did feel it it hurt but it was just like a pinching. Tells birth was so much easier. It also helps to take a tour of the labor and delivery that way you know where you are and what they are doing. Like I said I worked at the hospital I had Kell in and it was pretty cool to know where I was and where they were taking me. I breastfeed Kell too but I mostly pumped and put it in a bottle so I was not stuck in one place for to long. But I was scared to pump to much because I heard that if you pump to much it could hurt your flow and what not. Also Kell has always loved to eat and I don't think she was getting enough from me. So I stopped and gave her formula. But I should not have stopped and I wish I did not. Breastfeeding is hard and hopefully I can get it down the next time. Lol
I hope I helped you. I really do believe in breastfeeding and the closeness you get with the baby. I miss that the most. The mommy and me time. Lol
1.) Give birth in a hospital. The leading cause of death in women was childbirth until the 1950's....it should happen in a monitored environment where intervention is readily available, if necessary. 2.) GET AN EPIDURAL. I had one with both kids but it actually didn't even work with my first because of an old back injury....anyways the difference is HUGE obviously, and it made the difference between hell and a super pleasant, joyous experience. The doctor was laughing wit Grant that I was smiling during the whole pushing phase. And you are in no way "drugged out" for the experience.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of it child birth being calm and easier because you can't feel much of anything... but I didn't realize that you had to have a Catheter! How does that feel!?
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ReplyDeleteAnd 3.) Formula and bottle feeding ROCKs. I took all of the breast feeding classes and learned all about it- and let me tell you there are some SERIOUS gross effects that can happen to you and your baby. Besides being painful/difficult (which isn't a huge deal, there are learning curves to a lot of things) there are a lot of medical reasons NOT to breast feed. The biggest reason they push it is for immune support....but google things like rusty pipe and thrush....not only that but you have absolutely no idea what your baby is getting nutritionally....some women's milk is like water and your baby is deprived and others is like cream and leads to babies being overweight.
Anyways, formula has been MIRACULOUS in my life- I lead a very crazy hectic schedule and I never have to stress about what my baby is getting nutritionally, and also I don't have to pump which gives me time to focus more on my family.....anyways there are enough people that will tell you to breast feed, I'm simply telling you reasons why you don't have to feel guilty if you don't. Let me know if you have any questions!
ReplyDeleteOh and also you can still hold your baby close and up against your skin and look into their sweet little eyes while you formula feed ;) and this is for heathers information, I know all about the pros of breast feeding and didn't mean for this to lead to lectures on what I'm doing wrong as a mother....just an experienced opinion! Oh and you also have to watch what you consume if you breast feed because they can lead to baby allergies and fussiness/sensitivity. Haha can you tell I'm super passionate for formula! Also both Owen and grant are super tall and less than 50th percentile for weight so NOT obese. Just FYI.
ReplyDeleteYours is the first opinion I have heard on solely bottle feeding. I never considered it before. What breast feeding classes did you go to that helped you make that decision?
DeleteI've only had one baby, but have had a year of training to be a certified Childbirth Educator before having her, so I claim some experience and some education.:)
ReplyDeleteBreastmilk is 100% made perfectly for your child's needs. It is the best for their immune system, which isn't actually completely developed for 7 or more years, so breastfeeding for as long as you can is best. I've personally had a really hard time with breastfeeding, not being able to produce enough milk, so we've had to supplement with formula. But I give my daughter as much as I can from me - often pumping as well. Baby starts producing some antibodies of their own around 3 months, so if you can breastfeed at least that long its better than less than that. :)
The Birth - I had my baby at home. It was a wonderful experience and a dream come true for my husband and I. My husband got to catch the baby, which rarely happens in hospitals, and he felt like he was truly helping with the process, which was wonderful for both of us.
I don't think its so much where you have your baby but that you have educated yourself on whatever you've decided to do and you have the amount of control over the situation that you desire to have. Of course, you can never have complete control, but to be able to make educated decisions about whether to have fetal monitoring during the labor, whether you'll be lying in a bed or walking around or in water...you have a right to make these decisions. It might take some doctor shopping and/or hospital shopping for some of these options to be realized. Midwife is not a bad idea - I'm pretty sure most of them will attend births either a home, a center, or a hospital. We found our experience with a midwife to be very rewarding - they are notorious for being personable and competent, and in the U.S. a midwife costs less than a hospital birth with a doctor.
Epidural - I did not have one, and I'd prefer to always keep it that way. I hate needles, and don't like the idea of a huge one put near my spinal cavity - the risk of paralysis may be small, but I'd rather not even go there! It also slows down labour and by virtue of that can cause other problems. And for some, it doesn't even work anyways for getting rid of the pain. Personally I have issues with how little it has been studied, as far as its affects on the baby particularly,(regardless of what many will say, some of it does get to the baby, and it is known that it can have some effect on their brain, making them sleepy, but I wonder what else its doing...), and I am one of those ladies who wants to say that I did it without! :)
Best of luck with everything. I say if you do your homework you'll make the decisions that are right for you.
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ReplyDeleteI have 3 babies....I had 3 epidurals...and I bottle fed all 3 of them. I couldn't nurse. I tried with my first and never got enough milk. I had a doctor rip me apart for that. Told me that I was the reason my child had acid reflux. That breastfed babies don't get that....after lots of research I discovered that wasn't true. The most important thing is that your baby is healthy. Not how it gets that way. In my opinion anyway. You need to decide whats best for you. I loved all my epidurals. :) I loved delivering in a hospital. But I have zero pain tolerance. So for me that was a no brainer. You need to keep your mind open to all possibilities and do what works best for you. Also keep in mind that babies have a mind of their only and sometimes things just don't go as planned so you need to prepare for that. I planned on a nice labor and delivery...instead I got 16 hrs of hell...lots of complications and almost a C-section. I planned on Breastfeeding only...didn't get more then 3oz in a 48 hr period....My sister just had her first at IMC. She went in thinking she was going to have an all natural water birth. She Was told she could do that since they have birthing tubs at IMC however after waiting for about an hr to get a room with a tub she was told they didn't allow them to labor in the tub anymore....then she had to get meds to help speed up labor since her water had been broke for awhile...then she never dialated past a 5 so she ended up having an emergency c-section. She was mortified....humiliated...and devastated because she had one plan and that was it. Things happen. You never know what your body is going to do. We are blessed to live in a time with technology and skilled Doctors. We would have lost my sister and/or her baby 50 yrs ago. Find a Doctor you love...a Pediatrician with your childs best interest in mind no matter what...and don't be afraid to ask for a new nurse!!! (Mine was horrendous with my first) and good luck!!! You'll do great!
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